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Thread: Attitudes towards young quilters

  1. #101
    Super Member jcrow's Avatar
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    I think, JMHO, that some of the older quilters feel threatened by the young quilters. Young quilters learn faster than older quilters do. They can work faster. They don't know the rules (I know, there are no rules) so they do something unconventional and it's so cool and it scares some of the older quilters - maybe makes them feel they are being replaced. I have seen some quilts made by a young quilter in my nearby town and WOW!!! She is so great!!! I want to ask her how she thinks some of her ideas up. I could see where certain people would feel threatened by her and gossip about her and make her feel unwelcome in any group. She's outspoken and self assured and usually that comes with age. I like to see that in a young person. I wish I would have been as brave as she is when I was her age. Oh, what I could have accomplished in my life!

    And people are always threatened by newcomers of any age. What if they are better than us? There is a pecking order in a clique and a new person interrupts that pecking order. They don't know the rules (I know, there are no rules) in the clique.

    That is what I think it is about. A young person - a new person! Threatened!! JMHO! I don't belong to any groups. I am best friends with the owner of my LQS and on Tuesdays it's free quilting in the classroom, but I have never gone because there is a certain group that goes and the owner is working in the store. So I would be left out of conversations and feel uncomfortable. And I hate to feel uncomfortable. So, I sew alone.

    I have a very good friend here on the board and my mentor is here on the board. I have a few friends online. I know it's not in person, but it's better than nothing. And I love my friend here on the board! We are so much alike. We do the same BOMs, like quilt kits and fabric lines, etc. We visit almost every day. And no cliques!!
    "Be yourself...everyone else is taken."
    Strong people don't put others down...they build them up."
    "Remember that your instincts are more important than rules"

  2. #102
    Senior Member newbiequilter's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
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    No. Calif
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    As "loullygal" said some people don't like change too much...and I don't believe it has anything to do with age - yours or theirs. I am waaaaayyyyy older than you and belong to a small guild wherein there is a small faction of oldsters (even older than me!) who pitch a fit every time change is mentioned. They are not friendly towards new people and never make an effort to greet guests. We have lost members because of them and that is too bad. However, if you can't find what you are looking for (welcoming people - warmth and sharing of ideas), I like the idea of starting your own group. If you don't ask/try, it won't happen. Happy New Year.

  3. #103
    Junior Member MissSongbird's Avatar
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    Dec 2012
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    NW Ohio
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    I would love to start my own group, but unfortunately with school, work, and ballroom I don't have the time...at least not right now. It would be a lot easier if I knew any young quilters to help me form said group cause then all the work wouldn't be on me.

  4. #104
    Member
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    Jan 2013
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    I think that no matter the subject, group, or affiliation you are always going to come across those few 'contrary' people that seem to speak/act on behalf of the rest. Despite what the rest might really think! Most of us don't want to suffer the wrath of the outspoken contrary few so we just keep quiet and hope you stick around long enough to find your niche in the group. DH and I have had this happen in other social clubs - some we decided to stick out and finally fit in, others we decided just were not worth it and we went else where.

    IMHO, for an older quilter to be unwelcoming to a younger quilter is absurd. We young quilters are the future of this craft and will be the ones to carry on their legacy. Without our appreciation of what they have achieved and crafted, old quilts wouldn't be preserved and cherished by the next generation. Unknowingly far too many a work of art would be relegated to the 'dog blanket' just because it doesn't match someone's new decor!

    Good luck and persevere!

  5. #105
    Super Member KyKaren1949's Avatar
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    I'm afraid I have experienced the same thing, but not because I was young. It was because I was new and inexperienced, I guess. I joined a local guild and absolutely LOVED it the first year. Over the course of time, I noticed many of the very experienced "master" seamstresses to be very clique-ish and snobby. Rather than encouraging us newbies at workshops, they were quick to tell us what we did wrong or make us feel less than they. After the second year and another couple ugly situations, I just gave up and quit. I had gotten very involved but decided it wasn't worth it when I would come home and cry because of things that were said to and about me.
    I've since joined a different, smaller guild where the members are of a smaller county. The first guild had about 175 members and this one has less than 50. It's a totally different environment. There is one bully there, but for the most part, we can ignore her. I'm grateful to have found them because it's so much more fun to learn and sew with others.
    Karen in Kentucky

  6. #106
    Super Member jclinganrey's Avatar
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    Orange County, CA
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    I'm sorry you were treated that way. I agree with others who posted about cliques and people being set in their ways, etc. If you considered going back to the guild, I would encourage you to take one of the committee chair positions. That way, they'd HAVE to notice and acknowledge you. Also, if you continue to show your work, I think they might take your more seriously. Have you considered becoming part of a friendship group, which is usually a smaller off-shoot of the bigger guild? That would give you a chance to meet and get to know fellow quilters in a smaller setting and they could get to know you too.

    Whatever you do, persevere! Keep creating your great quilts. Show us your beautiful projects! We'll appreciate your talent. We'll be your cheerleaders.

    Just my thoughts - - -

    Jane
    July - Batiks Revisited D4P swap
    August - Scrappy Block swap - Bonnie Hunters' Scrappy Trips!
    September - Scrappy Block swap - Three Dudes in Batiks!

  7. #107
    Power Poster
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    Suring, Wisconsin
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    Some groups have a hard time accepting new members, even though they are looking for them. Some people are just so set in their ways that it is hard for them to change. Keep quilting!!!

  8. #108
    Junior Member
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    May 2012
    Location
    Kansas
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    First, I am glad you are enjoying quilting; sorry you don't feel comfortable with some ladies. I have belonged to a
    quilt guild for 31 years and we have clicks in it too, sorry to say that! I have a friend who belongs with this same
    group and the ladies don't talk to her, even if they see her in a different setting, it is strange, I can't explain it either.
    I have been President, VP, Public Relations, Newsletter Editor and this past 2 years I have been pattern chairman.
    I am getting too old to keep this up so I think this might be my last year, will wait and see how things are in June.
    Also have a small group of these quilters that meet on Sunday here in my town and we sew from 1-6; I go to
    2 retreats a year with different quilters, so I would suggest you keep looking for the right group where you feel
    comfortable. If you have to start your own group. The click group in my guild invited me the first year but I was
    still working (still am now) and I couldn't afford their price for a weekend and I haven't been invited since??? It doesn't
    bother me, cause I love the other 2 groups that I retreat with. I wish you lived closer to me, you could join us.
    2013 is my year to finish several UFO's from classes I took several years ago!!! I have taught some classes too.
    Just don't give up on quilting...it is relaxing for me.

  9. #109
    Junior Member
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    Jan 2013
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    Brooksville, FL
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    I'm sorry you have had this experience. I look forward to see young people join in. They are always eager to learn from us older women. I just love to teach them whatever I know and help in anyway. I hope you can find a place where you are not treated this way. Good Luck! I have found in some groups that I had joined I experienced the same. There are always clicks, but then there are always the ones that welcome you and will be happy to help you and make you feel wanted into the group. Keep trying!

  10. #110
    Member
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    Nov 2011
    Location
    South Texas
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    14
    I'm 73 years old and I got the same welcome that you have.
    Believe me it has nothing to do with you.
    The pres. of the guild could not have been more welcoming, she is a fantastic person.
    But people form clicks, they come with a friend and that's all they need.
    I tried every thing I could to mix in, but it was just not to be.
    I took a out side class with the same group of ladies ( in another town) and much to my surprise no one but the pres. and owner of the quilt shop spoke to me.
    When they broke up for lunch, off every one went with their little click and not one person invited me to come along.
    After a year of trying to mix in, I gave it up and decided I really did enjoy myself at home.

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