behavior problem question
01-07-2011, 12:36 PM
#41
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 942
If family members are feeling that your actions are too severe, perhaps they are part of this 8 y/o's problems. If they continuously make excuses for him and don't hold him responsible for his actions, of course they will be uncomfortable with what you did. I hope you have an impact on this childs life, if not he will grow up to be a spoiled, entitled adult! We don't need anymore of those in society!!
01-07-2011, 01:03 PM
#43
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,256
a child needs to know there are consequences to their actions when our grand son took his sisters nickles and put them all in his jar grandpa took and devided it between the girls GS said that'd not fair GP said he would have to earn them back they were too little do do much of anything but GP found things for them to do
01-07-2011, 01:23 PM
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 783
Excellent choice - I think there are more ways to teaching and disciplining than paddling or time out. Big deal, you rub your sore bottom or get out of the corner and it's over. What you taught him was to have respect for someone else's property because everything has a cost attached.
01-07-2011, 01:29 PM
#47
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 535
I agree with mommamac. An eight year old is old enough to learn that we need to make restitution when we cause loss to others.
Originally Posted by mommamac
I think you were lenient - I would have taken him & his piggy bank to the store, have him find the cost of the item & buy it for his brother. If his bank didn't have enough, then I'd have him then 'work' to earn the difference.
Kids need consequences that fit their actions - like the sign in some stores: 'if you break it, you buy it!'
Kids need consequences that fit their actions - like the sign in some stores: 'if you break it, you buy it!'
01-07-2011, 01:56 PM
#48
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
I think he should pay all of it back. Installments are certainly acceptable. My sister did the very same thing to her son. (She also put the money in his account without telling him) He learned that actions have consequences. Some consequences are painful. Good for you.
01-07-2011, 02:06 PM
#49
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Central Virginia
Posts: 119
I asked my 8 yr old grandson, and he said the boy should have been a)spanked (he isn't) b)grounded and c) made to work to buy a new toy for his brother. He thought just giving him money didn't count as punishment for being mean.
01-07-2011, 02:10 PM
#50
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,299
In my job I work with children whose behaviour is challenging. They often get caught in situations where their frustration has boiled up into anger and their actions appear very deliberately designed to antagonize others. Once the emotions have blown over, I help them deal with restitution by making the comparison to housecleaning. We all make messes, and we all have to clean up after ourselves. It's not always pleasant but a job that must be done. They accept the idea that the anger was messy and it depersonalizes the event so they are not bad kids. Anger is a normal human emotion so I don't want to teach them not to be angry, but how to be angry in a way that doesn't offend or hurt others.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
bearisgray
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
6
10-21-2010 12:09 PM
