madamekelly

1. Spend Christmas serving dinner to less fortunate.
2. Donate money saved by not buying gifts and donate to above Christmas dinner.
3. Contact local children's hospital and arrange to help pay for wheelchair for a child.
4. Make donation in family members name to a local teacher for extra supplies.
I can keep coming up with ideas all day. One year when I was in Texas, and all family was in the Pacific NW, my DD bought a gift card from Walmart, and had everyone take what they would have spent on gifts or greeting cards and put it on the card instead. Imagine my surprise when I opened the Christmas letter to find a gift card with enough on it to go buy an inexpensive sewing machine! I moved to Texas to care for my sister while she went through chemo, so I did not have a machine I could use since said sister's idea of sewing is to say "Kelly can you fix this?" Lol! If you need other ideas, just PM me.

amelia0607

Thank you all for your responses. I've been thinking about why I enjoy this so much and it is truly the joy of giving to my family. I just like to do that. Today, I took my granddaughter to get new shoes. She's only one so she really didn't care about getting new shoes but her mom has been so busy with work that I wanted to do this as a gift for her. She repaid me for the shoes. I enjoyed shopping with and spending time with my grandbaby and I get to give the gift of time with her daughter to my daughter. I have given season ski passes, horseback riding lessons, etc in the past. I try very hard to give them something they will truly enjoy. I tried for a few years to take them shopping and get them outfits - this way we could spend time together and they got presents that fit and were what they wanted but we stopped that when they started working - no time.

bearisgray

At one time I felt that way - but then I realized that if I don't know exactly what "they" might want - it would seem reasonable that "they" would not know exactly what I might want, either.

It makes about as much sense for a giver to know exactly what I might want or need when they aren't around me much - as it does for a waiter/waitress to know what to bring me for a meal if I don't tell them what I want.

Friday1961

Personally, I think what you're already doing sounds doable and very nice.

Yes, Christmas shopping is stressful for busy people....or even people who are not busy who don't know what to buy. But it's also possible that you have a -- forgive me -- controlling child. I have one, so I'm guessing from experience. Either way, you won't win if you don't go along, or at least compromise to the best of your ability. Maybe do it her way this year and go back to your way next year. These things aren't easy, I know. Good luck!

jitkaau

We don't ''do'' Christmas. No one gives presents to anyone. We just enjoy everyone's company and use the time to catch - up or have nice conversations with each other. We all pitch in with the making of the dinner as well. Some bring the drinks instead of providing the food. It works for us.

nancia

2years ago i suggested to my older sister, since our family has shrunken to 10 adults and 4 children, we should just give notice of donations made in their honor to worthy causes. we're all animal lovers so the usual organizations like petsmart, service dog project, the morris foundation, spca, etc. works for all of the adults. the children are young, the oldest is 8 and the youngest 8 months, so i send money for mom and dad to pick up a particular item or i make doll clothes, or doll quilts, and the occasional child quilt. there's no point in buying and sending toys that they can buy at the same store locally, so in that case i send money. to the unsettled or younger adults i may send money because that is what they need (or want) most. i do very little shopping. one son is a minimalist so he gets money, for travel or necessities. doesn't take long! usually only fabric shopping, then into mrs. claus' work shop to sew sew sew!

pdriggs

When our grandchildren started driving we began getting a family plan AAA for our daughter and son. I think the adults have had to use it more than the kids. As long as the kids are at home, or in college we will keep them on the plan. We give gift cards to the grandkids ( 6 of them). They usually collect them from other relatives and go for a shopping spree for the after Christmas sales. I have been making quilted placemats, and my DD and DDIL both say they like to get them LOL! MOM is 95 and still lives alone in a very small house and does not want any more stuff. She likes the cheese baskets, so that is what we usually do. That is our Christmas giving. It is pretty practical and not very stressful. Except for the fact the my embroidery machine had to go for repair yesterday!
Phyllis

Geri B

Good point...never thought of it that way...except wait staff are total strangers, whereas this is family members whom I see, speak to, frequently......but I will remember your analogy.

cashs_mom

Wow, three gifts from Grandparents? I usually got one big box from my father's mother and some small gift from my mother's mother (she didn't have much money) and all that stopped when we got older. I think the whole idea of buying a bunch of "stuff" just to have gifts under the tree is silly. What's the point? As someone else said, they probably have all the little stuff they need so why not just do the exchange and spend more time enjoying each others company?

If you really feel you have to buy gifts, I like the idea of buying for poor children who won't get anything else that year. What a nice idea!

Luv Quilts and Cats

I would like to stop the giving to adults in my family and just enjoy the time together. We have all we need, and don't need any gadgets. And some of the things I would want are too costly for one person to pay. However, every year I get out voted because my brother will not go along with the no gifts/pick a name deal. There is only one grandchild in my family and she is now 25. She is my niece and I would buy for her forever because I love her so much and I get pleasure in giving her gifts. We have as a group toned down the spending which is a good thing. We used to make lists at Thanksgiving of what we would like to make shopping easier. Somehow that has stopped and had made shopping harder. I may suggest the list tradition return. We are a very small family, three generations with a total of 8 people, and 2 cats. Every year lately the pressure to buy gifts is too much and I end up hating the holidays.