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Thread: Cliches'...."pay it forward"

  1. #26
    Senior Member cizzors's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissM View Post
    Not everyone who retires does so by choice, many are forced to because of health reasons. When that happens you are certainly on a "fixed" income because the government controls your income. Also please don't roll your eyes because it is no laughing matter. Until you have walked in that persons shoes you are in no position to judge. Just be thankful you were fortune enough to retire by choice.

    I was not 'fortunate' to quit-had no choice and had to quit do to health reasons. As long as SS does not run out of money, the checks keep coming. Might not be much but it is a check. I will continue to roll my eyes because as I said, my husbands check is just as fixed as a retiree's. Roof over our heads, food on the table and since I quit (at age 49) happy days. I worked at that 'biggest retailer' so that says a lot if you watch the evening news. I let go $1400 a month and insurance for piece of mind and it was worth every penny. So I guess you can say I fixed my income. I will officially retire in 15 yrs.
    Never outsmart your common sense.

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  2. #27
    Super Member sparkys_mom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonrise View Post
    The only ones I can think of offhand are "baby bump", and when they combine a celebrity couple's name, such as Brangelina or Kimye. Ugh.
    The name combos don't really bother me but I am sick to death of "baby bump".

    Still, my sister and I often look at each other and say - how did we get so lucky? We were born in a country and era where women are free to be themselves. We have never been hungry or gone without anything of importance. If either of us had been born a hundred years earlier it could have been very different. In all probability I would have been dead at the age of 10. My sister would have succumbed later but still done so.

    So, I might not use some of the terms like pay it forward, etc. but I do try to share my good fortune with others less fortunate and I know my sister does as well.
    Pat

  3. #28
    Super Member SueSew's Avatar
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    I don't like those catch phrases either. I prefer the Golden Rule.

    I certainly don't credit myself for my good fortune any more than I would credit myself for bad fortune.

    From childhood I was taught to thank God every day for the food on the table, my family watching over me, any talents I possess, and any opportunities I am given. Today I am thankful for a healthy family, a thriving business, and wonderful friends.

    I don't count kindnesses I get and I don't count generosities I give, and I don't mete out good deeds like some Paypal transaction, but every time people treat each other well, the world is a better place. So let them say whatever phrase suits them if they behave well.
    SueSew
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  4. #29
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    I say every once in a while. If I'm standing in line at the grocery and some one has a child and only a few items much less than I, I will let them go ahead, then tell them to "pay it forward".

  5. #30
    Super Member wendiq's Avatar
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    I like to hear the term "paying it forward" as it causes me and I hope others, to think about how our actions affect others. I think if someone is fortunate to receive a "Pay it forward", they, in turn will want to "pay it forward". I think it sets a good example.....

  6. #31
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    Or you could "Do lunch your treat" especially if she just needs to get out of the house.
    Quote Originally Posted by lots2do View Post
    Speaking of that, I need some feedback on something I'd like to do for someone who used to be a bigger part of my life when we worked together. I bumped into her today and she was filling me in on some hard times she's been having, all the while cheerful with a great attitude. Times are hard but they are doing what they can to meet their obligations. I'd love to get her a gift certificate to a restaurant they like. Would it be kind ( which is my intention) or would it embarrass her?

  7. #32
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    wonderful idea!

    Quote Originally Posted by lots2do View Post
    Speaking of that, I need some feedback on something I'd like to do for someone who used to be a bigger part of my life when we worked together. I bumped into her today and she was filling me in on some hard times she's been having, all the while cheerful with a great attitude. Times are hard but they are doing what they can to meet their obligations. I'd love to get her a gift certificate to a restaurant they like. Would it be kind ( which is my intention) or would it embarrass her?
    I think it would be greatly appreciated! Just insert a nice note either explaining your intentions or tellng you you just wanted rto say thank you for all the things shes done... I think its all inhow you present it. i recently did this and she said ''I just cried a your kindness, sometimes when you need the help, you can't let your pride get in the way of accepting a gift !'' Made me cry!

  8. #33
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    The reason I won't/don't tell someone "to pay it forward"- is that - to me - it implies a condition on the gift.

    As in - you are getting something from me - now it will be your turn to give something to someone else.

    I feel beholden until I do something when someone tells me "to pay it forward" or "to pass it on"

  9. #34
    Super Member quiltmom04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonrise View Post
    The only ones I can think of offhand are "baby bump", and when they combine a celebrity couple's name, such as Brangelina or Kimye. Ugh.
    I also don't like "baby daddy" instead of "baby's father". It sounds so stupid - like the baby is a father! Haha!

  10. #35
    Senior Member Onetomatoplant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cizzors View Post
    Baby bump, I say pregnant. The one that really gets me is "I'm on a fixed income". This usually comes from retirees. I don't work anymore by choice. When I did, if I was going to be over 40 hrs for the week, I had to 'kill' time so there wasn't any OT. My husband is salary. Right now he is putting between 60-70 hrs a week in. He does not get OT-fixed income. Depending on the conversation, some people think they are exclusive because of their 'fixed income'. I just roll my eyes and laugh.
    I also don't get the "fixed income". Really, unless you have a money tree in your backyard, we're ALL on a fixed income. As a retiree, my income is considerably less than it was a few years ago, but it's no more fixed than it was then!
    I love the smell of Best Press in the morning!

  11. #36
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    People say fixed income like it is bad (I can't work overtime to get more money). But with so many people unemployed or underemployed, I think fixed income is good! Even if it is small, you know it is coming in steady every month.

    I don't mind Pay it Forward but I hate Baby Bump as well as Baby Daddy and Baby Mama.

  12. #37
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    I work at a hospital and on occasion I have bought a cup of coffee, crackers, soda or a meal for a guest's family member or for a co-worker. For the most part they don't know who I am and look confused at first when I pay for whatever they have chosen but after the confusion, smiles light up their faces. I must confess that it makes my day! So it's always a win win for me!! I don't consider it paying it forward or the such, it's just something that makes me happy to do..
    Last edited by labtechkty; 05-30-2014 at 02:28 PM.
    Kitty

  13. #38
    Power Poster ube quilting's Avatar
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    Some people just need to be reminded . BE NICER THAN YOU HAVE TO BE. How's that

    I am paying it forward right now cause I really want to say..........

    I must not be "getting it". I think I have to reassess my priorities.

    peace
    no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

  14. #39
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    No matter what it is called, The older I get the more I realize that I have a lot more than some and It is all a blessing from above. God is good to me every day. Some times He uses others to deliver that blessing and some times in just a very small gesture and some times in a much more noticeable way. I try to show kindness in some way every day in what ever way that the opportunity presents it's self. I feel so much better if I can do something for someone else. I don't have a lot by the worlds standards but I am rich in blessings. I thank my Heavenly Father for it.

  15. #40
    Senior Member captlynhall's Avatar
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    Actually, I like the 'pay it forward'. Being an independent sort, I feel it allows me to graciously accept what someone is giving me or doing for me, without feeling an obligation to return the favor to that person. It also shows me the person doing for me did not do it with the expectation of payback. That is a feel good thing.
    When a dying man asked his pastor "How long does it take to die?" his pastor's heartfelt reply was "A lifetime." Live life to the fullest, but stop now and then to enjoy the sunset.
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    Quote Originally Posted by captlynhall View Post
    Actually, I like the 'pay it forward'. Being an independent sort, I feel it allows me to graciously accept what someone is giving me or doing for me, without feeling an obligation to return the favor to that person. It also shows me the person doing for me did not do it with the expectation of payback. That is a feel good thing.
    I like this!

  17. #42
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    Very well said Miss M. Like you said not everyone has the choice of going to work again because of health reasons or whatever stops them. After you get so old no one wants to hire you, so you are definitely on a 'fixed income' You only have so much coming in regardless of what comes up to be paid out. There are some of us who would like to go back to work even part time for a few extra dollars that we might eat a meal out even though it might only be fast food or some inexpensive place, but are unable to do so. Plus medical expenses must come first and often times that nixes food purchases one would like to have and definitely all the donations people and places want all the time.

    I for one have had open heart surgery for valve problems and am facing it a second time. Whether I make this one remains to be seen, but I will see to it that my medical expenses, utilities etc. are paid first and what ever is left if anything can go to food or other necessities. Now don't get me wrong I am not looking for any handouts from anyone, just trying to show what people mean when they say fixed income, so everyone please don't judge as as Miss M said, until you have walked in those shoes. I would love to work part time for a few extra dollars, but it is impossible for me. Again, not a sob story, but just an illustration of what the fixed income thing is.

    God bless everyone on this list.


    Quote Originally Posted by MissM View Post
    Not everyone who retires does so by choice, many are forced to because of health reasons. When that happens you are certainly on a "fixed" income because the government controls your income. Also please don't roll your eyes because it is no laughing matter. Until you have walked in that persons shoes you are in no position to judge. Just be thankful you were fortune enough to retire by choice.

  18. #43
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    But you could go back to work perhaps if you wanted some extra dollars, a lot of people don't even have that option.

  19. #44
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    Just say something nice to someone, and watch them break into a smile. That's paying it forward. You both win.

    The phrase I don't like is "No problem" when it is used to replace "you're welcome"
    PACE - Positive Attitude Changes Everything

    "All things are literally better, lovlier, and more beloved for the imperfections that reflect the human effort that went into their making."

  20. #45
    Super Member DebbE's Avatar
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    Personally, I don't care what expression someone uses, as long as they are doing something nice for someone else. There isn't nearly enough of that nowadays. I try to make a point of doing something nice for someone else in front of a young person, then its a 'two for one'....I'm teaching that young person how good it feels to help another (AND how good it feels to receive it). The best lessons in life are by example.

  21. #46
    Super Member IBQUILTIN's Avatar
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    I think those taglines are great. If they can remind one unhappy soul to open up and even smile at another, it is worth the effort to go about doing this. I try every day to do at least one random act of kindness somewhere in my day. It doesn't even have to make me feel better to do it, Maybe someday I will do these things without thinking about it.

  22. #47
    Super Member wildyard's Avatar
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    Well, I have to say, I find this really interesting. Do I say pay it forward? Yes I do!! And I really mean it when I say it. I say it when I am giving something to someone, or when someone is giving something to me. Do I DO paying it forward? YES I do. I do it whether someone has given me something or not. That's why it's called FORWARD, not back. I am grateful for everything I have, and especially for all those who have reached out to me with love, kindness and support. I am delighted for every opportunity I have to reach out to others in the same way, as we never know when that one little act of kindness may be just what a person needed to keep on going that day.

    Do I say I am on a fixed income? Yes I do. Because I am. What do I mean when I say it? I mean that I am not able to indulge my desires to buy just because I want to. I am on Disability and Comp. My DH is on SSI. I give away my quilts because I make comfort quilts. So yes, I have to be very careful with my fabric budget. I shop thrifts, I try to trade when I need something here on the board. And when someone is generous and gives me something, I also pay it forward when someone else needs something I have! There are many members of this board who can attest to that.

    I'm sorry if anyone finds these terms disagreeable, but I find them very helpful for me to be as successful and effective as I can be in making and gifting the quilts that I make for those undergoing chemo, dialysis and for our wounded military.
    Like many on this board, I have multiple health issues, but quilting for a cause gives me incentive to be productive each day. Patrice said it so well, gratitude for our many blessings is paramount to our well-being! I can't bother to let small things upset me, I have too many good things to focus on! Hugsssssss and smilessss......
    Linda Wedge White

    I believe UFOs are like scraps, ferns and dust bunnies. Once you get two, they send spores out into the air and more just happen anywhere the spores meet.

  23. #48
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    lots2do, I think I would contact your friend & ask her & husband to go to lunch with you so you can catch up. Just let her know how much you miss the times you had with her. Since you invited her, it would be your honor to pay for lunch & would be a blessing for you. My DH was injured on the job 2 years ago & had surgery on both hands & we have been on L&I ever since & it has been a constant fight with them with his small wage he is getting from them. Found out he will never be able to go back to work as he has only 40% use of his right hand & 60% of left hand. Even though we have very little, our good Lord provides us with an opportunity to help others. We have been able to bless a few older couples by paying for their lunches at a cafe. We did not know them, but noticed they were checking their money to see what they could afford to buy. When we left the cafe, we just payed their bill also. It really blessed us knowing we were able to bless them. We get our pay back, by our good Lord blessing us.

  24. #49
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    I also agree with PatriceJ. I notice when I do a kind act for someone, 2 people feel good - that person and me! What could be better! And so often, because they are feeling good, they pass a kind act on to someone else. We can all use a little extra kindness!

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandygirl View Post
    I am so tired of hearing "pay it forward" and "give back". (I did not "take" anything). I understand what they are advocating (volunteering, sharing, etc) but still, there has to be a better way to express it. Is it me?

    sandy
    When I do something for someone who says " how can I repay you for your kindness?" my answer is always "You can pay it forward." By that I mean take the good feeling I gave you, and give it to someone else. I am sorry if this bothers people, but Grandma always said "if you are sad, do something for someone else, and you won't be sad anymore." Works for me.
    If you always do, what you have always done, The results never change. Change is the wings you give yourself.

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