Dealing with disappointment re gifting
12-29-2010, 04:51 AM
#41
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 635
I 100% agree with you. Giving to the less fortunate, hurt, and lonely is so fulfilling.
I usually don't make a quilt for anyone who casually asks me to make them one. I'm sure you know the type. They always specify the size they would like. "I have a queen size bed." If they knew the magnitude of their request, I don't believe they could so easily ask.
Isn't it a canundrum? Only those who quilt can fully appreciate the intensity of love in a quilt, yet they can satisfy their own quilting requirements!
I usually don't make a quilt for anyone who casually asks me to make them one. I'm sure you know the type. They always specify the size they would like. "I have a queen size bed." If they knew the magnitude of their request, I don't believe they could so easily ask.
Isn't it a canundrum? Only those who quilt can fully appreciate the intensity of love in a quilt, yet they can satisfy their own quilting requirements!
12-29-2010, 05:15 AM
#42
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Springfield NH
Posts: 66
While I agree that once we give a gift we have no control over how it's used, or abused, this doesn't excuse rudeness. And unfortunately folks who can't say thank you and be appreciative of any gift they receive are simply rude. What they do with it afterward is truly their business and not ours but at the time they receive the gift they should at least be polite.
12-29-2010, 06:04 AM
#43
Power Poster
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 17,564
Love your attitude and spirit.
12-29-2010, 06:25 AM
#44
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Broadway, Shenandoah Valley, VA
Posts: 478
Originally Posted by Sierra
Originally Posted by GrammaNancy
Originally Posted by JanieW
I hope this the right section for this topic.
I've been reading a lot of threads where some of us have been hurt or disappointed by the reaction of some recipients to our home made gifts.
That happened to me a few years ago and I was actually humiliated in front of other people by the reaction to my gift. It was a real wake up call to me that not everyone wants or likes quilted articles . It's not even about not appreciating the work or effort or expense. We like what we like.
I am addicted to quilting/fabric/sewing. I decided not to be bitter about ungrateful people, but to share my skills with those who can benefit. I satisfy my addiction by making quilts for the preemies at our hospital and quilts for the children at the women's shelter. I use my best fabric for these donated quilts. I only ever buy my supplies on sale and I buy with these quilts in mind. The recipients are not fussy, the hospital staff is so grateful whenever I show up.
Don't get me wrong, I also sew for my kids and my grandkids, but they have input into what they are getting so I know they want it and will like it.
So for those of you who have been hurt by less than enthusiastic responses, think about sewing your hearts out for babies or kids or seniors that need it. You'll feel good, trust me.
I've been reading a lot of threads where some of us have been hurt or disappointed by the reaction of some recipients to our home made gifts.
That happened to me a few years ago and I was actually humiliated in front of other people by the reaction to my gift. It was a real wake up call to me that not everyone wants or likes quilted articles . It's not even about not appreciating the work or effort or expense. We like what we like.
I am addicted to quilting/fabric/sewing. I decided not to be bitter about ungrateful people, but to share my skills with those who can benefit. I satisfy my addiction by making quilts for the preemies at our hospital and quilts for the children at the women's shelter. I use my best fabric for these donated quilts. I only ever buy my supplies on sale and I buy with these quilts in mind. The recipients are not fussy, the hospital staff is so grateful whenever I show up.
Don't get me wrong, I also sew for my kids and my grandkids, but they have input into what they are getting so I know they want it and will like it.
So for those of you who have been hurt by less than enthusiastic responses, think about sewing your hearts out for babies or kids or seniors that need it. You'll feel good, trust me.
Remember the fireman who held the little girl after the Oklahoma City bombing? The child died, but she died after being held by a fireman who held her so tenderly that.... oh sweet Jesus, I'm starting to cry.... My point is, those hard ass cops and firemen and hospital people who have to DO THEIR JOB, choose that particular job because they care about people.
Wow, sorry about this, guess its too close to home. Anyway, think about giving small quilts for children, and even larger quilts to shelters. Those women and children need to know that someone cares.
Sorry I was so wordyl Blame it on the Christmas season. Sierra
Oh Sierra, that was so touching.
All of this about not being appreciative is a good wakeup call and a reminder to me that it isn't the gift, but the thoughtfulness and care the giver had.
Angela
12-29-2010, 06:32 AM
#45
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern Michigan
Posts: 732
Thanks for opening up such a painful vein. Expectations are what kills relationships; wrongful expectations as well as too high of expectations. I successfully completed and sold three crib quilts for newborns, all to one friend/customer, and I learned to go with her to the fabric store; let her pick some of the fabrics, and let her see some of my stash (baby prints and pastels) to select from. And one final Coup-de-grace, which I'm proud of sharing with all of you:
Once I had the basic squares completed, and the sashing cut, I took it to her and showed her: and I let her give me her opinion: I learned what her likes and dislikes were. The result was totally abandoning all the darker pinks, sticking to only the palest. I compromised my initial vision, and won three Commissions! Work with your client as your co-creator... and Good Luck.
Once I had the basic squares completed, and the sashing cut, I took it to her and showed her: and I let her give me her opinion: I learned what her likes and dislikes were. The result was totally abandoning all the darker pinks, sticking to only the palest. I compromised my initial vision, and won three Commissions! Work with your client as your co-creator... and Good Luck.
12-29-2010, 07:20 AM
#46
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 1,853
I learned this lesson big time this Christmas. My daughter and son-in-law are University of Oregon graduates. The Ducks are going to the BCS Championship bowl this year. It is the first time and my daughter and son-in-law are over the moon excited. So I decided to make them a U of O quilt for Christmas. My husband helped me design it. I worked for a long time on it. I backed it in U of O polar fleece, my daughter loves to snuggle up in polar fleece. When my daughter opened the package she looked at the quilt and just threw it on the couch. Never even commented on the quilt. The next morning I found it in the corner and the cats were sleeping on it. I have made her several quilts over the years and this always happens. You would think I would learn. My husband hit it when he said she is just not into homemade things.
Well now we are back from Christmas I am going back to my Quilts for Kids and when those are done I am going to make a quilt for soldiers coming home. I know these quilts will be appreciated. I will not make a quilt for my daughter again. She just doesn't appreciate it. It takes up way too much timel
Well now we are back from Christmas I am going back to my Quilts for Kids and when those are done I am going to make a quilt for soldiers coming home. I know these quilts will be appreciated. I will not make a quilt for my daughter again. She just doesn't appreciate it. It takes up way too much timel
12-29-2010, 07:58 AM
#47
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 84
Two years ago I contacted my local womans shelter, I wanted to give the kids a quilt of their own and make bath beads for the moms (which I did).I didnt even get a thankyou or anything from them (the shelter employes).I was so hurt and upset.That christmas didnt mean much to me.Spent a lot of money and time on the gifts.Wont do it again!.
12-29-2010, 08:05 AM
#48
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 127
This really makes sense there is also women with cancer who would love something warm to help them through a difficult time. I make knitted hats for babies and starteding to make caps for cancer patients. You know these are apprciated.
12-29-2010, 08:21 AM
#49
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,866
At least if they re-gift they didn't put a handmade quilt into the dog house for "poochie" to sleep on.
12-29-2010, 09:03 AM
#50
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Hamburg,Western New York State
Posts: 4,856
I found if they give "hints" or ask for a quilt, you are pretty sure it will be appreciated. I think that some folks think that you give them something that you made is the easy way to gift, instead of going shopping. The idea of giving your your 'gems' to charities certainly does give you a lift. God Bless You
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