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Thread: Funny one liners

  1. #1
    Senior Member ChrisDee's Avatar
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    Funny one liners

    Hi,

    I came across a list of funny one liners while cleaning out my file cabinets (ok not actually cleaning them out, more like moving stuff from one drawer to another) What are some of your favorites?
    I'll get the list started with a few of mine.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
    Next to God we are indebted to women, first for life itself, and then for making it worth having.

    Christian Nestell Bovee,



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    Junior Member judy5cents's Avatar
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    Common sense is not that common anymore

    My get up and go , has got up and went.

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    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Never argue with a pig; you'll just get dirty and the pig likes it.

    It's not a matter of right or wrong, but what is the *wise* thing to do.
    Jan in VA
    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.
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    Super Member ShowMama's Avatar
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    Super Member DOTTYMO's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Senior Member ChrisDee's Avatar
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    Too Too funny.
    Next to God we are indebted to women, first for life itself, and then for making it worth having.

    Christian Nestell Bovee,



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    Super Member Libster's Avatar
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    take time to build memories with the kids

  8. #8
    Senior Member ChrisDee's Avatar
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    You can't cure stupid!
    Next to God we are indebted to women, first for life itself, and then for making it worth having.

    Christian Nestell Bovee,



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    Senior Member LoriMcc's Avatar
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    Kill 'em with kindness!
    Lori McC

  10. #10
    Super Member lovingmama's Avatar
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    I read this one somewhere,

    "Never argue with an Idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!"
    ♥♥♥ Loving Mama ♥♥♥

    If life gives you scraps, make an angel quilt out of it!

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    Super Member sparkys_mom's Avatar
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    Smile; it will make people wonder what you are up to.
    Pat

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisDee View Post
    You can't cure stupid!
    I know a person who will never be cured.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovingmama View Post
    I read this one somewhere,

    "Never argue with an Idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!"
    Same person calls others 'idiot' but I know who the real one is.

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    DJ
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    If someone asks me if I made something that I didn't make, I say: "No, but I could have."

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    Senior Member hannajo's Avatar
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    Junior Member SusanErler's Avatar
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    Some people are like Slinkies -- Not really good for anything, but you still can't stop chuckling when you see one tumble down the stairs...

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    Super Member Tiggersmom's Avatar
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    These are great! When my brain gets 'unfogged' I'll add some.
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    🌷RIP dear Tigger....you are missed!
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  22. #22
    Super Member Tiggersmom's Avatar
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    The fog is lifting:


    "People who don't like cats were probably mice in a previous life."


    "I'm too busy to be organized"
    Jennifer: Organized in my dreams.
    🌷RIP dear Tigger....you are missed!
    Buddybear's Mom ...Yorkie Fur Baby

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    Super Member madamekelly's Avatar
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    It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
    Engage brain before starting mouth.
    You don't need to be twelve feet tall and bullet proof, you just have to convince some people that you are.
    Attitude is everything.
    If you always do, what you have always done, The results never change. Change is the wings you give yourself.

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    Junior Member libby2595's Avatar
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    this is the oldest you've ever been and you'll never be this young again.
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