Rhonda

Give it some time it will be better as you both discover a new way to communicate.
My dad and I were on the same wavelength. We were closer than any other dad and daughter I know. I created that same relationship with my daughter. She and I are part friends part sisters part MOM and daughter. We are even closer now than ever and she has been married for 12 years with 3 special needs kids and a lots of responsibilities but we talk on the phone nearly every day.
When she got married and she and her husband moved 2 hours away so he could go to Chiroprctor school. They were up there for 3 years. She and I both had a hard time with it but we talked on the phone a lot.

It will get better! She is learning to be an adult and she has to find her own way. But you are still in her heart and when she wants to make your favorite dish she will call home and ask advise!!

And btw after they have been out of the house a couple of years or so you might find she'll tell you some of the things you didn't know she did when she lived at home! My sons and my daughter have since admitted to things I didn't know they did! Looking back on it it is funny now!!

Like finding out it was my son who kept letting the sheep out so he could watch us all hussle to round them up again!

Bevanger

I guess its different with boys. I love my son deeply but can't be best friends with him. It hurts, but I'm thankful he's still around and close to me (a boy kind of close) I know this probably doesn't make sense. :oops: It'll work out hun. You'll see. Her "new" life is just that. NEW. Once the newness wears off she'll be back. You'll see

Joan

That's why I have two Labrador Retrievers! LOL :lol:

Seriously, she will be your friend again. Just give her time. Recognize that's it's hard for her to make this break too. But, it's part of life and all the little birdies fly away from the nest when they're ready.

It's a good time to develop new interests, make or spend time with friends.

(I've been there, too. When my oldest daughter went away to college for the first time, I was soooo excited. The summer before we shopped for just the right linens and clothes for her new life. The excitement continued on "move in" day at her school. Everything was great until we left and I realized for the first time I was no longer part of her life. I'll never forget pulling out of the parking lot and seeing her face in a second story window. At that moment, I figured it all out and cried all the way home---4 hours. Thankfully, the sadness passed and now many years later (she is married with a baby), we are still good friends.)

Rhonda

Bev I know exactly what you mean! My daughter is my oldest and has been my right hand. She was 1 year old and 3 weeks when my son Nathan was born Then Glen is 18 months younger than Nathan.

Sara has always been my best friend probably because I depended on her so much but she is a natural mother and organizer.
But both boys .......
They are 31 and 32 (BOYS)

My youngest Glen has told me if he didn't see anyone in the family for 3 months at a time he was a happy camper. He is a loner but married with twin sons. Doing fine but he and i have never been close no matter how hard I try. I have had to learn to give him his space. If it wasn't for Angie his wife I would probably never see him! I know he loves us but he gets the loner thing from me so I do understand it but it is still hard.

My son Nathan is out of state alot as he runs his own electric business and they do a lot in the neighboring states. Walmarts and hotels. So he is on the road a lot. He calls and talks once or twice a month and he talks for a long time when he calls but I only see him if he comes to take his dad hunting(twice a year) or if he comes to pick up his son.

Nathan and Jill did come by on Mother's Day but my mom and I went out to eat because I didn't expect anyone!! I missed them.

So I perfectly understand guys are differant!! I love them dearly but I am grateful for my daughter she is my best friend and confidant and I am hers. (her stress reliever when she wants to send the kids packing!!)

Rhonda

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kwhite

Thanks yall. This helps a lot.

Joan I didn't see you in the car on the ride home from college!!!!!! I guess it was all the tears that kept me from seeing you there in the car with me. Sorry if I ignored you.

Ducky

You know, it's kinda my theory that if you have a good, loving relationship with your kids, you'll always have it. My daughter, 31 years old, and I still laugh, talk and "solve all the world's problems". Kwhite, my heart hurts for you, because I know that feeling of having a daughter finding a new and different path in life....and I had to keep busy to get through it. In fact, I had to do it with both boys, too. But that relationship you have with your daughter will not diminish -- it'll get stronger.

Joan

Yes, it was a sad time for quite awhile. I joked with friends that we needed to form a support group for parents whoose children leave home to go to college or whatever. It wouldn't surprise you that many moms agreed with me.

But, the important thing to remember is that it does pass. All three of my children are grown now and I am enjoying observing them as adults. Listening to them and hearing about their adult lives has been very satisfying. I've enjoyed hearing what they like to do now, what their dreams are for the future. In addition of a son-in-law and daughter-in-law have just become more family to enjoy!

Shemjo

If you truly love someone, you will set them free! She will come back and be your best friend if you give her some space for her to realize that she wants you in her life. :?
I am a daughter, no kids of my own and my mom passed lots of years ago, but she is still there for me!

Shadow Dancer

I am having a sad day today. Didn't think it would bother me as my youngest son has been residing with a worker since December. But this morning they came to move all his furniture and stuff to his own apartment in the assisted living facility.

Although he didn't live here, his things were still here and I still had that connection so to speak. I think the finality hit home today that he truly is an adult and has his own home now. I've been his primary caregiver all his life, but I know this is the best thing for him. He needs his independence, even with having a worker to assist him.

I feel redundant, like I've been replaced and it kind of hurts a little.... letting go isn't easy.