A question of perspective about money... and movie tickets
06-27-2011, 08:04 AM
#52
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,341
Tell her she can make the decision but must do so without any crying.
1. She can go to the new theatre BUT if this is her choice then you will NOT buy any treats (no not even pop) it will be MOVIE ONLY.
2. She can go to the old theatre AND also get some treats.
1. She can go to the new theatre BUT if this is her choice then you will NOT buy any treats (no not even pop) it will be MOVIE ONLY.
2. She can go to the old theatre AND also get some treats.
06-27-2011, 08:30 AM
#53
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern Calif.
Posts: 2,287
Personally I wouldn't want to be driving a van full of girls home (are they all crashing at your place after the show?) after a 25-30 minute drive at approx. 2 am. The closer to home at that hour the better for me. Maybe you can get each girl to split the cost with you in order to go the the closer theater. At the price of gas these days, that would be a savings to you right there. And snacks at midnight??? Just throw some candy bars or licorice in your purses. Haven't been to a show in years and not sure if they allow you to bring in your own bottles of water.
06-27-2011, 08:53 AM
#54
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,625
I agree with some others who say if she is paying her own way, she goes to the new place. Throw some small snacks in the handbag.
As for her no quite picking up on what you are trying to teach her about the value of being a good neighbor to those less fortunate, don't feel like your failing. Right now she is a teenager and it soundls like maybe some of her actions are being dictated by wanting to be like her friends and have things like her friends. That doesn't mean she isn't learning. Someday hopefully it will click and she will realize the valuble lesson you are teaching.
My boys didn't understand why their dad and I would take vaction time to work at the local Christmas program where we gave away gifts and food to those in our community who don't have as much. One year they asked to join us, and then they got it. Especially when they saw the parents of a few of their friends come through. They are both generous young men now who are stuggling themselves in this econemy but still spare a little for someone else.
Good luck on your delimma.
As for her no quite picking up on what you are trying to teach her about the value of being a good neighbor to those less fortunate, don't feel like your failing. Right now she is a teenager and it soundls like maybe some of her actions are being dictated by wanting to be like her friends and have things like her friends. That doesn't mean she isn't learning. Someday hopefully it will click and she will realize the valuble lesson you are teaching.
My boys didn't understand why their dad and I would take vaction time to work at the local Christmas program where we gave away gifts and food to those in our community who don't have as much. One year they asked to join us, and then they got it. Especially when they saw the parents of a few of their friends come through. They are both generous young men now who are stuggling themselves in this econemy but still spare a little for someone else.
Good luck on your delimma.
06-27-2011, 08:57 AM
#55
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Murrysville, PA
Posts: 3,007
I dont know what you should do...but I always "pick my battles". If it is not an issue of morals, maybe you could give in ...with the stipulation that she pay the difference in the price of the ticket. She could also carry a tote bag and bring drink/treat to save money.
06-27-2011, 09:01 AM
#56
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,789
Have 4 DDs, all were teenagers at the same time. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. This is not worth the fight. At this age appearances are everything. If it is important to your DD to go to the new theater, let her go. It's not going to ruin her for life.
06-27-2011, 09:07 AM
#57
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 811
Honestly, I have been TRYING to teach her (and her brothers) to care about others.
Is it just her age, and the (lucky) town that we live in?
Or am I expecting too much wisdom from someone who is still quite young?[/quote]
Empathy is a very abstract thought process. Kids learn from concrete to abstract thinking....walking and talking to judgment and empathy. I had one son who got it at sixteen and another who was completely arrogant and thoughtless until he had a son and told me "Mom, I get it now, I know what you wanted me to learn." He was 22 at the time. Kid's brains are not fully mature until around 25. Some kids need experience to figure it out and get it later than others. Just keep teaching and your voice will be in her head and her heart when the light dawns on her. If you have laid the ground work, and you know she is underneath the behavior a good person then that will emerge and your daughter will be the woman you know her to be. Trust that your voice will be heard even if now other voices seem more dominant. Another thing about teens, boys and girls, they want what they want NOW! Waiting and planning seem too far off. Girls just learn they can play the weeping and wailing card where as boys descend into sullen non verbal silence. (that is a generalizaton not a rule, just based on my own experiences) Make your decision on which theater you are going to take them to, tell her choices, my way or no way, and let her decide. Let the natural consequences take over. It will be a good learning experience for her and a relief to you which ever way it goes. Just remember, Harry Potter movies are not life and death issues no matter how much you daughter feels they are right now.
Is it just her age, and the (lucky) town that we live in?
Or am I expecting too much wisdom from someone who is still quite young?[/quote]
Empathy is a very abstract thought process. Kids learn from concrete to abstract thinking....walking and talking to judgment and empathy. I had one son who got it at sixteen and another who was completely arrogant and thoughtless until he had a son and told me "Mom, I get it now, I know what you wanted me to learn." He was 22 at the time. Kid's brains are not fully mature until around 25. Some kids need experience to figure it out and get it later than others. Just keep teaching and your voice will be in her head and her heart when the light dawns on her. If you have laid the ground work, and you know she is underneath the behavior a good person then that will emerge and your daughter will be the woman you know her to be. Trust that your voice will be heard even if now other voices seem more dominant. Another thing about teens, boys and girls, they want what they want NOW! Waiting and planning seem too far off. Girls just learn they can play the weeping and wailing card where as boys descend into sullen non verbal silence. (that is a generalizaton not a rule, just based on my own experiences) Make your decision on which theater you are going to take them to, tell her choices, my way or no way, and let her decide. Let the natural consequences take over. It will be a good learning experience for her and a relief to you which ever way it goes. Just remember, Harry Potter movies are not life and death issues no matter how much you daughter feels they are right now.
06-27-2011, 09:11 AM
#58
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,435
More questions -
Will this cause a hardship for you (or your daughter) to go to the more expensive theater?
If you live in an area where most of the "others" have "more" - I can see where some of the choices are more difficult and where saying "no" would be harder.
Overall - a $6 difference isn't (for many) a really big deal. (Especially if I wouldn't have to pay it!)
Shorter driving time would also be a big plus for the more expensive theater.
As others have said - if overall, she's a good kid and relatively reasonable - pick your battles carefully.
Overall - I think I would go for the newer, more expensive theater on this one.
And less driving time would
Will this cause a hardship for you (or your daughter) to go to the more expensive theater?
If you live in an area where most of the "others" have "more" - I can see where some of the choices are more difficult and where saying "no" would be harder.
Overall - a $6 difference isn't (for many) a really big deal. (Especially if I wouldn't have to pay it!)
Shorter driving time would also be a big plus for the more expensive theater.
As others have said - if overall, she's a good kid and relatively reasonable - pick your battles carefully.
Overall - I think I would go for the newer, more expensive theater on this one.
And less driving time would
06-27-2011, 09:15 AM
#59
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,510
HA! It doesn't affect teenage girls.....i have couple 7-8 yrs old (gd's) who are at it already in this reasoning! LOL...just make an agreement that 1st let's go to #2 because of the hours/cost and when she earned enough and if it's in daytime, she could go to #1 ?
Of course, Bearisgray made a good point too!
Of course, Bearisgray made a good point too!
06-27-2011, 01:39 PM
#60
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: GREAT STATE OF TEXAS
Posts: 1,415
Seems to me, the longer travel time and gas cost of 10 mi. vs 25 mi. negate the difference in ticket price. Go to the new theater, and save money by taking snacks from the drugstore or dollar store vs. overpriced movie snacks. That's what we did with our kids. :)
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