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Thread: So disappointed

  1. #1
    WynfordMom2016's Avatar
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    Every year my moms family (i am not close to my dads side of the family but LOVE my mom's side) have a family reunion..over the last 15 years (how long hubby and I have been married) I have averaged going every other year but have twice skipped 2 years...I live in Ohio the reunion is in Kentucky..5 years ago we all went together (mw husband and 3 kids) 2 years ago I went with the kids...hubby called me every day asking me to come home (I went on a Wed came back on Sun) This year I had planned on going with kids again..then my daughter left home so it was just going to be me and the 2 boys..I planned on going on Wed coming back on Sun...reunion is Sat...Then about a month ago hubby decided he is going (he is not crazy about my family) SO I start making plans for a hotel or cabin etc..Then last weekend he told me cause of work (long story but he was BOUGHT from another company in Feb and has no vacation) He can only go if we go down and back the same day...its a 5 hr drive..I was so very upset and almost decided not to go as it would be harder on me health wise and mentaly to only see them for a few hours (if you figure the way he wants to do it we would be there between 6 and 8 hrs)than not seeing them at all..But I was not giving up on going and was trying to talk him into staying at least one night...NOW due to money issues and his job (now he cant get Saturday off) it looks like we wont be going at all...
    ALL my family other than my mom, dad and brother live out of state this is the one time I get a chance to see so many people I love so much....
    Sorry just needed somewhere to vent...just so heartbroken that things didnt work out...

  2. #2
    Super Member sak658's Avatar
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    So Sorry, I know they will miss you just as much. Hope something turns around so you and the kids can go anyway. Saying a prayer for you.

  3. #3
    WynfordMom2016's Avatar
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    Thanks so much...
    I was so worried because the quilt I started for it is not finished....Not as worried now but still intend to finish it

    Worst part is is 15 years we have NEVER taken a vacation other than going to KY on Sat and back on Sun for the reunion...He promised me last fall when we had some problems that he would take me somewhere might only be a weekend but we would have a couple days of a real vacation at least once (he is a workaholic and thinks vacations are a waste of time and money when there are other things to do)

    I rarely leave the house and I know my boys (13 and 14) need some way to get out and have fun at least once this summer but with my health problems it is hard for me to do much..

    Hoping we can at least have a weekend sometime this summer to at least do something with the boys

  4. #4
    Super Member MellieKQuilter's Avatar
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    Praying that something may still change that allows you to go...

  5. #5
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    So sorry to hear about your disappointment.

    I went 13 years without seeing my grandmother because my husband did not want to spend his vacation in Kansas. We have 2 daughters and it dawned on me that I was never going to see her again. And I couldn't blame him, I had to take the plunge and just go. My grandmother was 88 years old, we live in Southern California, my daughters were 5 & 8 and I said I am going. It was cheaper for me to drive than to fly, so we did the 3 day drive each way. The girls were great, I think we hit every Dairy Queen from Chula Vista CA to Burlington KS but we had a great time. It was a shock to the rest of my family and friends - but life is what we make it. Right?

    We did it again the following year and that time my husband decided to come along.

    The following year I flew out by myself or her 90th birthday. The end of the year she suffered a stroke and unable to return to her home. So I was glad my daughters got to meet their great grandmother and see where I spent the first years of my life.

    Not sure how old your boys are, but even if you had to go by yourself, I would vote that you go and have a good time. So you don't stay as long, you never know who will be there next year.

    Try not to stress, I always say when things don't go as planned it will make for a good story later on. Maybe we can't laugh right now, but we will later.

  6. #6
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    I'm with quiltingcandy, try and see if just you and the boys can drive out and see your family. It would be good for all of you to get away!

  7. #7
    Super Member mimom's Avatar
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    tell hubby that if you dont have enough time with your family this year you will be forced to host it next year.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Radiana's Avatar
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    You mentioned your mom, dad and brother live in state. Are they close enough that you could ride with them? I can see that your husband needs to think of his new job and can't get the time off but that dfoesn't mean you shouldn't go. Hope it all works out. God bless.

  9. #9
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    Your husband may not realize that he needs a vacation, but you and your boys know you do, and quiltingcandy is right about getting there if at all possible. It is important in many ways and for many reasons. I hope and pray that you will be able to find a way to go.

  10. #10
    Super Member craftiladi's Avatar
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    ahhh sending you big hugs, I sure hope you can work something out.

  11. #11
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    I guess I would plan to go with the two boys. Can you afford to do it that way?

  12. #12
    Super Member great aunt jacqui's Avatar
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    how about also basing the trip with the boys for a history tour. even if you have to stop for an overnight. find some interesting places along the way. Search the web for cheap motels that have a pool. Sometimes kids just yearn for a pool.
    thereare many wanys to go on the cheap. bringing cereal for breakfast, bread pb&j for lunches some snacks and koolaid for drinks. Make it an adventure for the boys. Kids need time away from the troubles of the world. someone said it befoe me. You make the best of your life. Figure out a way.

  13. #13
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    Ok, call your brother and mother and father and see if they are going ---tell them you wish to go also.
    If this is not feasible, then I agree---tell hubby that next year you are going to host it so you can see everyone. If you and your boys were going in the first place, why can't you go now?
    I hope you make it.

  14. #14
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    Please, go !! I have missed many family things in the past because hubby didn't want to go. Now all my family are dead, so I can't anymore. Go, have some fun!

  15. #15
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    I learned a long time ago,when I missed my reunions,because my then hubby wouldn't go,that I will not ever do that again in the future.My parents are both dead now,and that opportunity for me is past.But not for you.If he can't go,you and the kids go.And stay for 3 days or so and enjoy the company while their still here and you can.I regret not going,and giving in.Now,I will never meet my dads side.Let your kids meet the family and get aquainted.It is much cheaper to drive,heck in our car we can drive to Kansas 1240 miles on just 6 fill ups.In fact we generally leave early am,and are there the next day by 4:pm Kansas time.Of course now,we're older,so would stop now at about 6 pm for a hotel and get rest and dinner.Now it would take 3 days and 2 nights.So,I say GO,your hubby will be fine,as he can hold the fort down.

  16. #16
    MyWifeMadeME's Avatar
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    Praying all works out...

  17. #17
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    I hope things work out for you - -

    Are you able to drive that distance? You mentioned health issues - - -

    Sometimes the "others" in our lives don't have the same priorities and/or needs - - -

  18. #18
    Super Member Lisa_wanna_b_quilter's Avatar
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    If your health allows it, put the kids in the car and go. You don't need permission.

  19. #19
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    Can you take a tent, drive yourself and camp out????????? I can understand your disappointment! And I agree with Xylie55, GO --- before it's too late.

  20. #20

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    I agree with Xylie55 and all the others who told you to go anyway. If your husband has decided not to attend (and he doesn't believe in vacations), then taking your sons and going for 3 days or more would be good for each of you. Do you want your sons to grow up believing that work-a-holics have the right idea? It isn't healthy, mentally or physically. Good luck! I hope you end up going and being with your family. God bless you.

  21. #21
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    I am truly sorry that things haven't worked out for you this year. If you can go by yourself, go.

  22. #22
    Senior Member AnnieF's Avatar
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    My family rents a cottage for one week in the summer....same week every year and we all plan on being there. The first few years we were married, my husband came with me and about the 5th year told me that he didn't think we'd be going that year (he has a very small family and my big, loud, boisterous family was more than he could tolerate for a week). I told him we'd miss him but understood his reasoning. Every year since, we've been there (sometimes the whole week, sometimes only a long weekend)....there is no other time during the year when I can stay up half the night talking with my 23 year old niece, ride the waves with my 10 year old nephew or just sit and laugh with my sisters. Go....take your boys...enjoy yourself....they need to be with your family as much as you need to be there. Sometimes, now, my husband will drive up for the day to spend it on the beach...sometimes he skips the whole event...it's his choice...

  23. #23
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    Tell your hubby with a new job this year a vacation might be out of the question BUT after this year he needs to spend time with his family. One day at your reunion and the rest doing something with you and your kids. Soon they won't want to go and won't want to spend time with him if he won't spend time with them now.

  24. #24
    a regular here sisLH's Avatar
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    I went last fall just 3 hrs away to see my folks. My husband had a fit -wouldn't talk for several days. When he calmed down, I told him they are 82 yrs old and 3 hrs didn't use tons of gas and that even if he stays mad, I was glad I went. When the kids were little and money was tight, we used to take along instant oatmeal and fruit bars -that was our meals. The point was to see the places, not the dining out.

  25. #25
    Super Member meanmom's Avatar
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    I have the same problem every time we are going somewhere with my husband. He never went anywhere as a kid. His Dad was a tight wad who thought only of himself. Whenever we made plans for a trip myDH would say he was going. The closer it would get to leaving he would start making excuses why he couldn't go. Eventually the trip would be cancelled. (this was even with his family reunion) His sister bugged us for years to go on vacation with her. Same old excuses. We kinda argued. He told me to go without him. I hooked the camper up to my SUV and backed it into the driveway and packed it up with the 4 kids. I don't think he thought I would do it. He was so mad he left the house in the morning before we got up. We left at 5 AM. Didn't really speak to us for a few days after we got back. Finally he said he was being stupid for being mad because he told me to go. If you wait for your DH to go with you , you will never get to go anywhere. After that we often went without him. We always bug him to come. He even missed our sons wedding, in Japan because of making excuses. My daughter and I went and had a great time. GO WITHOUT HIM!

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