littlehud

At 11 she is old enough to take responsibility for her stuff. She lost it and is out of luck getting a new one. Don't cover for her. It will just get worse. Believe me.

JanetM

What do you mean..YOU have to call? I know this is going to sound harsh, but I really think your daughter has to take some responsibility here. She lost it, so she should make the calls to find it. If she can't find it, I would insist that she contribute to the cost of a new one. If she is too young to be working, I would have her doing chores to earn some of the money.
Trust me, if she is without one for a period of time, she will take better care of the next one. (((hugs))) to you. I had teenagers so I know it can be rough. We want our kids to love us, but sometimes our role makes it difficult, but they need a Mom, not a friend. They have plenty of friends. Oops, I think I just fell off my soapbox.

stpatmom

Luckily, I didn't have to buy a new one. I decided on my way home to check the three places we were last night. Turns out she left it at McD's. We just got home about ten minutes ago from picking it up. The young man who found it had it with him. Bottom line, he said he found it, and told us he would be at work at 11. I made dd go with me. I also gave him a small cash reward which he tried to turn down, but I made him keep it. DD will be weeding the veggie garden to work that off!

One more thing.....I know there is no way I should have bought her a new one. I don't know if I actually would have. I'd like to say I wouldn't have, but I honestly don't know. It was so much easier when they were 3!!

JanetM

Oh, that is great. Thankfully an honest person found it. I'm sure your daughter will be more careful in the future. So glad it worked out so well. :D

BellaBoo

If you are fortunate to be able to give your kids some frills and take a little sting from their mistakes then why deprive them by reasoning they need to earn/learn a lesson. They will be earning all their adult life anyway. Just as most of us have. I was blessed with a DH that is a wonderful provider so our kids didn't need to earn money while at home for their clothes, cars, or colleges. And even though they didn't have the experience of working or doing without, they grew up to be nice people, hardworking and respected, and providing for their families.

mom-6

So glad it was found!

bearisgray

Glad it turned up -

Could you make her a special carrying case for it? Or does she already have one?

Charlee

Two words. "Natural Consequences"

The natural consequence of losing the Touch would be having to tell you and Dad about it...and then going without until she earns the money to buy her own. You've already bought her one, and she didn't take care of it. Don't buy her another one that she's also not going to take care of because you'll replace it anyway.

I think it's a parent's responsibility to show children the "real world" and how it works, so that when they're adults they know how to live in it...

Aaaaaaaaannddddd....I'd want to buy the new one too, and save her from having to tell Dad! ;) :lol: I wouldn't, but I'd WANT to!!

**ETA** I see that I posted after you posted that the Ipod is back where it belongs!
My next advice, since I'm really good at handing out advice, ;) :lol: is to make her tell her Dad about it!

damaquilts

I am glad it was found by an honest person. And it was nice that you rewarded him. Every action has a consequence good or bad. Due to bad decisions on my part my eldest went to live with her dad who left most of her raising to her grandparents who spoiled her rotten. My youngest was basically kidnapped by my ex who spoiled him rotten such as the kid wrecked a car and his dad bought him a new one. But when the consequences of those actions panned out his dad threw him out of the house a full blown drug addict. My middle daughter who I now have to live with stayed with me. She had to go to work at 14 and supply all of her own clothes etc. I worked minimum wage and could barely afford to keep a roof over our heads. Although she fell in with a bad crowd and did some things she shouldn't have she is the only one that hasn't been arrested and has always taken care of herself. She had consequences even when she was young did chores around the house if she wanted money or baby sat when she was old enough. Her step dad pretty much left her raising to me once his son came along. She turned out the best out of the 3. She had a harder life then but she knows how to work and how to do without and how to get what she needs herself. Yep I was a mean mom, kids have chores and responsibility and I am a mean grandmother. LOL but if you ask my granddaughter who she would rather spend time with me or her Grammy its me every time. LOL

Mousie

Long story to short...don't hide this from your husband.
Some day your daughter will leave home and you want them to have a good relationship.
Be there, when SHE tells him, but try not to gang up on DH, bc he gets over the top.
If he is too over the top, well, then you have more going on than a lost ipod.
I am speaking from experience, and still don't know all those answers.
ETA: good for you for going to McDonald's in person.
That is something I learned from DH...face ppl and make them face you. You get more communication and resolution.
You'll be doing your dd a favor to talk to dad, even though he will be justifiably angry. The man is out of work! Of course it will be a downer...
but...they will LEARN how to relate to each other AND, DD won't have the guilt, enabled by you, where her dad is concerned.
I raised three great kids, but have some ponderings about how it could have gone differently in a few spots. Never did hide anything though...as Bellaboo said...bite, bite, bite...even if just in the conscience. Give her some closure mom and a hug. :-D