When People Ask For Hand Outs and Donations
06-09-2010, 04:50 AM
#111
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
Posts: 14,022
I'm gonna say this and I hope I don't tick anybody off. I will continue to give when I can afford it other wise if someone wants to pay shipping that's great. I love the classified section, I'm always checking to see if I have what someone needs or wants. I grew up poor and still am. But I grew up watching my parents give the shirt off their backs for a fellow person and they are still that way. I give with a happy heart and I receive it the same way, I do not expect a return of greatfulness, just to atleast know that the package made it there.
06-09-2010, 04:53 AM
#112
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: MS
Posts: 3,434
Originally Posted by ToucanSam
A couple of months ago, not too long after I started quilting, I asked if anyone had 4 inch squares they didn't want because I wanted to make a completely scrappy (no pieces the same) quilt. It was not due to financial struggles, but I know some ppl just don't keep scraps. In April, I was diagnosed with Stage IV appendix cancer (they thought it was ovarian and I am blessed that it wasn't)and had some pretty serious surgery. The post-surgical time was rough, as they had done a total hysterectomy, an appendectomy (the cancer started in my appendix) and took about 30 inches of my intestines (big tumor there) and had to sew my intestines back together. Not fun.
Recovery was tough and I was on pain pills for several weeks, pretty much throughout the day and at night. I had received squares from a number of people on the board, some of whose usernames were printed somewhere, but some just used their real names. All of the pieces have been deeply appreciated and slowly but surely, I made the quilt top. I put the border on it last week. I will try to post a pic of it tonight or tomorrow. If it will fit on a twin, I will donate it to a local charity.
I appreciate everyone who sent even a piece for it. Unfortunately, between the pain meds and the chemo I'm doing now, my brain hasn't exactly been working right. I am so very forgetful. Please know that if you sent me anything, it was very much appreciated and hopefully you will be able to see it in the quilt, though I do have some pieces left over.
I know that this post was not directed at me, but it was a wake up call for me to say thank you. And with "chemo brain", I sometimes need a reminder! This is one great group of quilters!
Hugs, to all of you,
ToucanSam
Recovery was tough and I was on pain pills for several weeks, pretty much throughout the day and at night. I had received squares from a number of people on the board, some of whose usernames were printed somewhere, but some just used their real names. All of the pieces have been deeply appreciated and slowly but surely, I made the quilt top. I put the border on it last week. I will try to post a pic of it tonight or tomorrow. If it will fit on a twin, I will donate it to a local charity.
I appreciate everyone who sent even a piece for it. Unfortunately, between the pain meds and the chemo I'm doing now, my brain hasn't exactly been working right. I am so very forgetful. Please know that if you sent me anything, it was very much appreciated and hopefully you will be able to see it in the quilt, though I do have some pieces left over.
I know that this post was not directed at me, but it was a wake up call for me to say thank you. And with "chemo brain", I sometimes need a reminder! This is one great group of quilters!
Hugs, to all of you,
ToucanSam
06-09-2010, 05:27 AM
#113
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: MS
Posts: 3,434
Mary Ellen, I read every word of your response and will probably read it several more times. I was enchanted.
I am sorry your post was pulled. I didn't know that would happen. I had one pulled last night and I know how it feels.
I am sad for all your personal loss and your loss of good health.
I am grateful you didn't leave one word out of your story because I did so much enjoy your sharing so much of your life's story with me. I hope you are not also in the path of the oil that is now coming ashore.
Regards, Dorothy
I am sorry your post was pulled. I didn't know that would happen. I had one pulled last night and I know how it feels.
I am sad for all your personal loss and your loss of good health.
I am grateful you didn't leave one word out of your story because I did so much enjoy your sharing so much of your life's story with me. I hope you are not also in the path of the oil that is now coming ashore.
Regards, Dorothy
06-09-2010, 05:29 AM
#114
Banned
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 4,564
Mary Ellen...........I remember that post with the picture of the woman in the nursing home. It was very heartbreaking. She looked so sweet! I do not think it should have been removed from the forum!!!!! :thumbdown:
06-09-2010, 06:50 AM
#115
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: maine
Posts: 1,574
Originally Posted by marsye
Mary Ellen...........I remember that post with the picture of the woman in the nursing home. It was very heartbreaking. She looked so sweet! I do not think it should have been removed from the forum!!!!! :thumbdown:
06-09-2010, 07:09 AM
#116
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 8,807
Marsye - I and my arteries thank you for the oatmeal. It was delicious and it's so very kind of you to think of us! :)
Quilterguy27 - I know you make charity quilts and know that your dog is battling cancer. I was happy to send you something and you were very kind in your thanks. Believe me, I'm happy to help out anyone (and especially someone who makes quilts for charity.) I'm not looking for profuse thanks. All I want is to know that the packet was received. For the most part, I've received either a small gift, a written thank you card, a thank you PM and offer of a gift. I've been very blessed in life and happy to share whatever I have.
I sense a lot of mixed feelings in this thread - some are upset, some seem offended, some seem ashamed, some seem righteous, etc. I know this was not the intent and IMHO I'm thinking this topic should end.
Quilterguy27 - I know you make charity quilts and know that your dog is battling cancer. I was happy to send you something and you were very kind in your thanks. Believe me, I'm happy to help out anyone (and especially someone who makes quilts for charity.) I'm not looking for profuse thanks. All I want is to know that the packet was received. For the most part, I've received either a small gift, a written thank you card, a thank you PM and offer of a gift. I've been very blessed in life and happy to share whatever I have.
I sense a lot of mixed feelings in this thread - some are upset, some seem offended, some seem ashamed, some seem righteous, etc. I know this was not the intent and IMHO I'm thinking this topic should end.
06-09-2010, 07:49 AM
#117
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 6,689
Marsye, very interesting post. I used to send to anyone who asked for something, but rarely do now! Recently people were posting for another member saying that they really needed help. One of these, I even went shopping for the fabric (quilt shop quality) and spent LOTS of $ - even sent a pattern and I never got a thank you. Some one finally asked the person receiving the fabric and a weak thank you was posted with a list of at least 50 names. Wow what a haul was made. And I have never seen any thing posted with some thing made with the fabric.
So....needless to say I think twice now before sending.
Like others said - I was approached once in Philly for money - was in the drive-up lane of McDonalds, so I bought them a meal and they came around the pick up window and took it and I actually saw them throw it away - I am sure she wanted money to buy drugs. Also once in Boston a homeless person (looked like one at least) and asked for a specific amount to get on train to get home and I gave it to her and when I was in the same place at the end of the day the same girl was there still asking and approached me again for money - I laughed at my stupidity and walked on. My friend that was with me both times had the courage to say to me "I told you so!!" Live and learn.
I always look at the date someone joined now and just go on.
So....needless to say I think twice now before sending.
Like others said - I was approached once in Philly for money - was in the drive-up lane of McDonalds, so I bought them a meal and they came around the pick up window and took it and I actually saw them throw it away - I am sure she wanted money to buy drugs. Also once in Boston a homeless person (looked like one at least) and asked for a specific amount to get on train to get home and I gave it to her and when I was in the same place at the end of the day the same girl was there still asking and approached me again for money - I laughed at my stupidity and walked on. My friend that was with me both times had the courage to say to me "I told you so!!" Live and learn.
I always look at the date someone joined now and just go on.
06-09-2010, 09:37 AM
#118
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MIchigan
Posts: 527
God Bless You.
06-09-2010, 03:34 PM
#119
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southeast Georgia, USA
Posts: 9,093
our rules are like any other set of rules. they were created either because enough members asked that they be created, or because too many members behaved in ways that made them necessary. we know we can never please everybody.
each of us reacts in her/his own way to public requests for freebies. we have established standards that determine who is and who is not eligible to post requests. the standards were developed based on member input. once a person is eligible and puts a request on the board, each of you should give or not according to your own feelings.
there is a difference between public posts asking for handouts and the spamlike pms we've seen lately. nobody should send you a pm asking for anything unless the two of you have already established a friendship.
the bigger we get, the more attention we attract among the unsavory characters that surf the net in search of tender hearted suckers. please protect yourselves. these are almost certainly not from genuine members. report all unsolicited pms from strangers asking for free this or that or offering to sell you things, just as you would report suspicious spams to your regular email services.
the hacker who spammed several members asking for selvages has been blocked. (actually, "hacker" is the wrong term. she didn't break into the board. she just signed up and exploited the opportunity to make a manual list of people to pm. i would normally have used a different word to describe her, but i don't think that kind of language is appropriate here. :lol: )
each of us reacts in her/his own way to public requests for freebies. we have established standards that determine who is and who is not eligible to post requests. the standards were developed based on member input. once a person is eligible and puts a request on the board, each of you should give or not according to your own feelings.
there is a difference between public posts asking for handouts and the spamlike pms we've seen lately. nobody should send you a pm asking for anything unless the two of you have already established a friendship.
the bigger we get, the more attention we attract among the unsavory characters that surf the net in search of tender hearted suckers. please protect yourselves. these are almost certainly not from genuine members. report all unsolicited pms from strangers asking for free this or that or offering to sell you things, just as you would report suspicious spams to your regular email services.
the hacker who spammed several members asking for selvages has been blocked. (actually, "hacker" is the wrong term. she didn't break into the board. she just signed up and exploited the opportunity to make a manual list of people to pm. i would normally have used a different word to describe her, but i don't think that kind of language is appropriate here. :lol: )
06-09-2010, 05:15 PM
#120
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North of Boston, MA, USA
Posts: 3,524
I also received a PM for selvage, but as collect (my own and local friends) selvages, I have a small draw full, it did raise any red light. I could not remember if somewhere in a thread selvages had been mentioned. I have not had the time to follow up with her, so now I will just forget about it.
Thank you all for bringing this up and thank you Patrice for the follow up.
Thank you all for bringing this up and thank you Patrice for the follow up.
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