When People Ask For Hand Outs and Donations
06-10-2010, 06:38 AM
#131
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Texas
Posts: 8,710
This topic has brought me tears, made me laugh, made me say "ah-ha", made me think. Thank you Patrice for your words to explain, It is comforting to know you guys are taking care of us. Unfortunately, our dearest friends who receive goodies from us took offense and it wasn't meant for them. Like Patrice said, we can all read, I see where one who got help and is needy will help another, I have a stash but one day I may need to ask for a particular fabric, and I will too you guys LOL, but when I receive it I will pay it forward. I have already built a relationship with others who share. So please don't be afraid to ask if you need it, do it....when you see someone offer, jump on it. It's only for those who continually make us read your posts on every subject every day. I will be posting more next week. better keep an eye out.lol. Happy quilting everyone. I post for anyone who needs it to PM me and I get those, have never been spammed or solicited unexpectedly. Hope I never do. TTFN
06-10-2010, 07:38 AM
#132
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by Bevanger
I guess maybe I ask to much for fabrics, but being on ssi , i am financially limited. so when i get fabs i appreciate it cuz i get to sew. i show pics constantly to show everyone that i am using their fabrics and i'm quick to say thank you. I've been here a couple years and if i ask for alot, please pm me and tell me. Sometimes I get so excited when sewing with these fabs, I don't think .... So PLEASE tell me if I'm overdoing it. :oops:
You are just the type of person that I love to help bc I am on a fixed income too.
I just started my stash before it became fixed and since i am a giver when I can be, I have been given a lot too.
My mom can't see to sew anymore, so I got an early inheritance...only daughter:thumbup: and now sharing with one of my own girls that has been bit :mrgreen:
I think it is a judgement call and you have to go on faith.
Truly needing ppl that are appreciative will post thank you's a.s.a.p....as soon as possible.
Thank you is such an easy thing to say and means a lot to the giver, and let's them know you received the gift.
I used to have a HARD time asking for any kind of help, but as quilters, we do so much that is for other ppl, and not even for ourselves, that I have a new outlook about it.
I also feel blessed when ppl will LET me give to them and don't feel obligated to give something back.
Sooner or later we all give and get and it comes out in the wash,...and it's so much FUN! :XD: :XD: :XD:
06-10-2010, 07:45 AM
#133
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Actually, in my personal opinion...contacting someone by PM, and outright asking for fabrics, etc. unless you are doing a group project that person is participating in...I think that is pushy, if not rude.
Your putting someone on the spot.
I don't mind seeing a thread that says, "I love to quilt, but low on stash, and could sure use your scraps etc."
I don't mind that at all.
Then if you have extra's you can pm that person for their info...but I don't want to be personally picked out and pm'd with a request. That is like panhandling, and I wouldn't do it.
I just treat ppl basically like I want to be treated.
(Those that I owe squishies too and have been slow for whatever my reasons are...please forgive me. ;) )
I have a couple ppl I told I was sending them something and haven't finished their stuff, and it has been a while. That makes me die of embarrassment, but I pray that knowing I have many chronic health disorders will help them understand I don't do these things on purpose and will eventually get 'er done! :-D
Your putting someone on the spot.
I don't mind seeing a thread that says, "I love to quilt, but low on stash, and could sure use your scraps etc."
I don't mind that at all.
Then if you have extra's you can pm that person for their info...but I don't want to be personally picked out and pm'd with a request. That is like panhandling, and I wouldn't do it.
I just treat ppl basically like I want to be treated.
(Those that I owe squishies too and have been slow for whatever my reasons are...please forgive me. ;) )
I have a couple ppl I told I was sending them something and haven't finished their stuff, and it has been a while. That makes me die of embarrassment, but I pray that knowing I have many chronic health disorders will help them understand I don't do these things on purpose and will eventually get 'er done! :-D
06-10-2010, 07:56 AM
#134
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by dsb38327
Originally Posted by cjomomma
I love to help others all that I can, I figure if they are being dishonest then that is on them. I had asked for help with sports fabric once and I received so much I had to start turning ppl down cause I didn't want to seem greedy. What ever I had left over I sent to another quilter that was in need of the same thing. That being said I prefer to come across the person and not receive a PM asking for help especially when they are brand new to the QB and know they can't post in the classifieds until they are regular members. I always try to let ppl know where my fabric comes from so that I don't waste my time. I could go on forever but I will stop.
I once was pm'd here by someone saying we had so much in common and the same birthdate and wanted to know stuff about me.
I immediately went to their profile bc I hadn't heard of them.
Zip info and that days date...not one thread.
So I immediately pm'd a moderator to let them know this person was lurking around.
Yes, a true hearted quilter will join in, give in friendship and encouragement before making their own needs known. You can usually sniff a beggar out.
A quilting person with unfortunate circumstances is not a beggar. We all know quilting is therapeutic as well as a blessing in many other ways.
You bless ppl by being a friend, even if you are never able to give with fabric or notions. I don't expect anything from anyone, but could jump ten feet high when I have, it's so sweet.
If we get taken, we should not feel bad. We are doing the right thing with a right heart. Shame is on them.
06-10-2010, 07:57 AM
#135
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
If I send fabric to someone I don't want anything back. I already got something.......... a good feeling inside me. That's all that matters to me :)
06-10-2010, 07:58 AM
#136
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,388
I have to say I always get excited if I have fabric that might help someone out, especially if I know I won't use the fabric myself. I hate to let something sit on my shelves for years when I know someone else could use it. The few times I have sent others fabric or whatnot, I did it without being asked, or else with them offering to pay for it (which takes all the fun out of sending it, in my opinion.) Anyway, it does come down to OUR right to refuse requests and we should not feel bad when we do. Likewise, it is our choice to help another and hopefully get a heartfelt thanks on the other end. If we don't, we can choose not to help that person out again - but hopefully it won't taint us helping others out who would appreciate our generousity.
06-10-2010, 08:06 AM
#137
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by redquilter
Seems to me several of us have received a PM from the same person. I'll do as Sharon (moderator) suggested and contact Patrice. I suppose anyone who has been contacted should do the same. I don't like to be a "rat", but we do want to keep the board safe and a fun place to be.
(being funny with you, bc I R A MOUSIE! :lol: )
if we keep admin and moderators aware of what goes on behind the scenes.
I feel it is my way of helping them with the board, since they give so much of their time and energy to us.:thumbup:
karielt, you are the epitomy of a generous quilter.
Teaching the craft and giving someone a new "love" to help see them through the happy and sad times of life, is so wonderful.
My girls weren't really into sewing when growing up, but they always saw me doing it...now, one has got the bug...for sewing, not quilting...YET!...but I have been priviliged to help her and she has made four blouses recently.
It is a thrill as a quilter/sewer to pass on my hobby, so I know the joy you are experiencing.
Bless your heart :thumbup:
06-10-2010, 08:13 AM
#138
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by marsye
Originally Posted by Lockeb
Marsye,
Thanks for starting this thread....it is an interesting read....I think that many of us have been wondering :-)
Thanks for starting this thread....it is an interesting read....I think that many of us have been wondering :-)
06-10-2010, 08:19 AM
#139
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Colorful Colorado
Posts: 1,989
Originally Posted by saf45
i dont make posts but like to answer some and welcome newbies like i was welcomed, like i said im not to good with words but feel like everybody here is friends,
06-10-2010, 08:20 AM
#140
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by Gramof6
Originally Posted by barnbum
What I get weary of is the "Oh, I wish I could afford it." line. It just gets old.
These statements make me feel guilty due to what I do have. I love to help a fellow quilter out if they need it. And I do. But...there is a fine line in helping and full fledge supporting their hobby. If I could not afford to sew or quilt, I would not expect anyone else to support my hobby. I will help anyone that needs help if I can though. Fully supporting them, no.
My husband, and when I was able...I worked...can't anymore...but my hubby worked at a hot, nasty job that he hated, for many years, that has took a lot of his good health out of him...and much of what I have came from his being out there for me and for our kids.
So, I am very careful what i do with it, and don't feel I owe anybody anything, but him and the good Lord of course.
However, if a quilting brother or sister, that I know, is in need and I have the box, postage money etc. at the time and not eyebrow deep in family stuff and life, I stop and make a package up.
I don't give a lot at a time bc 1-postage...fixed income now,
and 2-want to help more ppl than is possible, so I try to spread it out.
3-passing...hallelujah to my daughter and granddaughter so far, and maybe more DD's in future if they get "bit" too! woo hoo! :thumbup:
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
barnbum
Pictures
317
05-01-2016 02:36 PM
born2bfree67
Links and Resources
12
12-07-2012 03:51 PM
pdriggs
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
12
11-15-2012 08:42 PM
