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Thread: accepting sewing supplies

  1. #1
    Super Member chamby's Avatar
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    My husband is the pastor of our church. One of our members is always giving me fabric and notions for quilting and sewing. I am so very greatful for these wonderful gifts. However I do feel each time that I receive something from her that I am obligated to make something for her out of the stash she gives me. Sometimes this does not leave me time to work on other things.I work a full time job and have limited time to sew. She told me last night that she has more fabric for me. I offered to pay her for the fabric. She stated that it was a gift that she wanted to give to me. How would you handle this without hurting someone feelings. ( she is very sensitive) :?:

  2. #2
    Super Member lfw045's Avatar
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    Maybe your church has a Ladies Auxillary that can put the supplies to good use by making lap quilts for the homeless or less fortunate. Maybe you could enlist her to start one in the church if you have some ladies interested. Just a thought.

  3. #3
    Senior Member justme's Avatar
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    give her a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant in appreciation... or a book if you know she enjoys reading...

  4. #4
    Super Member jbsstrawberry's Avatar
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    Perhaps you could take one of your sewing days to make up a quantity of "quick" gifts to have on hand for her. Say, placemats, hot pads, coasters, nice little gifts. That way you'll always have something to gift her kindness back, without taking up so much of your sewing time for things you want or need to work on.

  5. #5
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    I suspect, she's not expecting anything in return. She just wants to give some of her stash to someone she knows will use it. Surprise her with something at Xmas or her birthday. Making something for her once or twice a year shouldn't be too much of a burden. It wouldn't need to be anything large. Remember, it's the thought that counts.

  6. #6
    Super Member SharonC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mytwopals
    I suspect, she's not expecting anything in return. She just wants to give some of her stash to someone she knows will use it. Surprise her with something at Xmas or her birthday. Making something for her once or twice a year shouldn't be too much of a burden. It wouldn't need to be anything large. Remember, it's the thought that counts.
    Agree. This is probably her way of giving you a gift and keeps giving you more stash b/c you're returning a gift....then she gives a gift, etc.

  7. #7
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    I agree with the one or two thank-you items per year. If she quits giving you fabric and notions if you don't respond with something other than a heartfelt "thank you", well you'll know what her intentions were in the first place. Or if you make and donate with what she gives you, just show her the finished item , possibly include her on the label somehow?

  8. #8
    Power Poster SulaBug's Avatar
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    I would think that your gesture of
    making a couple of thank you items,
    would have been plenty. Just let her
    know how thrilled you are with her
    generous offerings!! A meaningful
    Thank You, can go along way.
    :D :D :D :D

  9. #9
    Power Poster Ninnie's Avatar
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    Just an heart felt thank you goes a long way. You should not feel obligated to make her something every time.I doubt that she expects it of you everytime either.

  10. #10
    Power Poster RedGarnet222's Avatar
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    I think if you have a problem with this lady, talk to her about it. I am wondering if she has ever asked you to make something for her. Maybe you have felt obligated without reason.

  11. #11
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    Pardon me. I have been on the receiving end of scraps. I see them for being just that! Now if she buys yardage and suggests that you make something for her, that is a different story.

    I get a lot of scraps from the gals at Curves. I take the completed quilts in to show and they enjoy picking out the fabrics they recognize. they know I make quilts for charities and I don't think any of them expect anything in return.

    Perhaps you are the one being too sensitive. Being a pastor's wife is one thing, but allowing your feelings to cause you stress, is going to create health problems. Scraps are just that! nothing more than some one's left overs. Accept them graciously and say "I can put these to good use" and let it go at that. Preserve your health!

    Been there and done that as I am sure many others have as well.

  12. #12
    Super Member Lisa_wanna_b_quilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommaB
    I agree with the one or two thank-you items per year. If she quits giving you fabric and notions if you don't respond with something other than a heartfelt "thank you", well you'll know what her intentions were in the first place. Or if you make and donate with what she gives you, just show her the finished item , possibly include her on the label somehow?

    I like the donation idea. Maybe give her a picture of the donation in a nice card or a mention in the church bulletin. Something like............

    With the kind fabric donation from so and so, our ladies auxillary has been able to donate 5 blankets to Project Linus.

  13. #13
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    What if you would make something and then raffle it off at church with the money going to a good cause saying she donated the fabric?

  14. #14
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I would think that a thank you would be sufficient, if you want to make her a small thank you gift, that is fine too. There is no need to keep making her something, she is giving you a gift, if it was a birthday/holiday gift you say thank you very much for the gift or send a thank you card...and that is perfectly acceptable. :wink:

  15. #15
    Super Member OHSue's Avatar
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    Maybe she keeps giving you more stash because you keep giving her gifts. That is what I would probably do.

    If she says it is a gift, then take it as that, be gracious and let her know how much you appreciate it just by telling her.

    You say you are a pastors wife, you can respect the desire to just be charitable and I suspect you would do the same for someone else if you could. You likely give to folks in other ways without expecting anything in return. Put her in your prayers, what better gift to give.

  16. #16

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    I'd graciously accept the gift. Pass it onto someone in need if you can't use the item and have the giver over for dinner as a thank you!
    Sue

  17. #17
    TX_Cutie's Avatar
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    I agree with MommaB's post.

    A simple thank you note with a pretty sticket is more than adequate.

  18. #18
    Senior Member patty48's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trupeach
    What if you would make something and then raffle it off at church with the money going to a good cause saying she donated the fabric?
    I really like this suggestion.

  19. #19
    Super Member Minda's Avatar
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    I think a nice heart-felt thank you note is appropriated for an unsolicited gift. Sometimes people give just because they want to, without expecting or wanting anything in return. :-)

  20. #20
    BlueChicken's Avatar
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    I agree with the others... I don't think a thank you gift every single time is required. Something a bit "bigger" for christmas would be a good idea, or for her birthday, to say one big thank you, would be easier and entirely appropriate.

  21. #21
    Super Member sewsewquilter's Avatar
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    I am with the others that think a thank you gift is not called for each time. She might a person who likes to share without anything in return. Maybe a happy day gift when she least aspects, but not each time. I know I like to share when I can without getting anything in return but a smile on the persons face.

  22. #22
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    Graciously accept the gifts. When you have a few spare minutes make her a key fob, some pot holders, a bookmark, or a prayer shawl.
    Could be she has had the fabric around or someone is giving it to her and she would rather you have it. Make some prayer shawl quilts and have them blessed in church and that way she will burst with love for the gift you are both giving to someone in need. .

  23. #23
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    I would not feel obligated to make her anything from the fabric. Every now and then I would bake her a pie, cookies, or buy box of flavored tea bags, coffee, something to show you are thinking of her being so nice. Don't start with the Christmas gifts, then she will feel obligated.

  24. #24
    Super Member redquilter's Avatar
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    I think a simple, heartfelt, "thank you" is all that is required. If she's giving you the fabric - she obviously wants you to have it, so don't feel you have to make something as a return gift. This can go on forever and you'll just feel more and more resentful. That's silly. As some of the others said - a small token at holiday time is fine. Or how about bringing her some homemade cookies next time you make a batch? Does she live alone? Maybe you could invite her for dinner, or lunch, or afternoon tea. Do you have a flower garden? Cut her bouquet of flowers - or buy a small African Violet. There are a lot of things you can do to show your appreciation that don't involve your sewing machine and limited time there.


  25. #25
    Junior Member lovetoquilt's Avatar
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    My husband is also a Pastor of a Church. A lot of times members have been cleaning out and when they find out I quilt they will give me fabric or sewing supplies. I really don't think they expect you to make them something when they do this. You are actually doing them a favor by taking the stuff they don't want any more. As a Pastor's wife we do a lot for Church members. I know I visit with my husband, go to hospitals and sit for hours when a Church member is have surgery and a lot of other things. I truly believe the lady doesn't want any thing from you. I had a lady give me over 200 yards of fabric. She had purchased a trunk load of fabric when a lqs went out of business. When we pastored at her church she was in her 80's and she knew she would never be able to use all of that fabric. She was so happy when she found out I was a quilter and she asked me if I would take some of it from her and I did. I also have a man in our Church now who will bring me fabric to Church if he finds any at a yard sale. He just wants to do something nice for his Pastors wife. Just accept it and give a genuine "thank you". And if you are like me you will probably end up making things and giving them away to people in need. I feel like this. God is blessing me so I can bless someone else.

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