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Thread: am not going to make anymore for family

  1. #76
    Super Member grann of 6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ftkls501
    I am no longer going to make pureses for family I worked soooo hard getting every one a purse to only have them not like them. They were like oh ths is what you got us? It is not what i expected exspeacially after working so hard but one thing i have learned it is not their thing. I felt like i worked for nothing. I wish they could know how much work and love went into them.
    I am sorry this happened to you. But last year my DDIL wanted a purse just like one I had made for myself. So I made her one for Christmas. One day I asked my DGD why her mother wasn't using it, she said she didn't like it because everything fell to the bottom. I have finally decided that a person's purse is like underwear. We all have a certain kind we like and don't want anyone else to buy it for us. So I am not doing purses for anyone any more unless they specifically ask for a certain one. And it is so true they have no idea how much time it takes to make one. It is just another part of a learning curve for us quilters. Yes, it hurts our feelings, but hey now we have more time to do things for ourselves :roll: :lol: ;)

  2. #77
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    I feel for you, I also have been through that. I now only make presents for those that I know like handcrafted gifts.

  3. #78
    Super Member grann of 6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mkotch
    Sometimes it's the color or style that just doesn't suit. I received a purse from a friend this year. I will use it when I see her, but it is not "me." I hate to be ungrateful because I know she worked hard on it, but it just isn't my taste.
    Yep, just what I say. It's like trying to buy someone else underwear. I hate the lacey stuff, and don't wear thongs, and...and....

  4. #79

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    Just another one of life's lessons. I think every artist (and we are that) experiences this at least once with their art. Our ego's become bruised but guess what, we still go on with our art because we know it not only makes us feel good but also that there is someone who will love it. I have had this experience and worse someone who will tell you a "Better" way to do it (and they don't even know what a needle is). I do some watercolors and a non-artist told me what was wrong with my painting PLUS how to correct it; I gotta tell ya, I was angry (told him so years later).
    Cheer UP, there are tons of people who appreciate your work.

  5. #80
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    I am so sorry. I agree that they are thoughtless and rude. I guess they were hoping for quilts ( something big). That would be my last gift to them that I spent so much love and time on. They can give them back to you and I KNOW you can find someone(s) who would love them. Count me in as one of them. I have two sister in laws who would not really appreciate a purse I had made, no matter how gorgeous it would be. It just isn't their style. They would NEVER be rude to me though. I guess it is the character of the gals you gave them to. Don't know the relationships but sure would back down from gifts for them. Just to let you know, we LOVE your purses, sight unseen.

  6. #81
    Super Member jitkaau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ftkls501
    I am no longer going to make pureses for family I worked soooo hard getting every one a purse to only have them not like them. They were like oh ths is what you got us? It is not what i expected exspeacially after working so hard but one thing i have learned it is not their thing. I felt like i worked for nothing. I wish they could know how much work and love went into them.
    You should show them the You Tube clip of the teenage girl who has a tantrum because her dad bought her a blue sports car instead of a red one...and say no more. At least you won't have to worry about buying or making any more Christmas presents for the unappreciative ones.

  7. #82
    Super Member catmcclure's Avatar
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    I got a really nice batik purse from a friend. It sat in my closet for about a year before I took it out and finally started using it. I love it now and carry it every day. Maybe that's what will happen with your family.

    I'm just not a purse person (try saying that five times). I always just have one purse and carry the same one everyday. That may be one reason they weren't as enthusiastic as you expected.

  8. #83
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    I am so sorry. If you are looking for a new appreiciative daughter/sister/niece...I am avaliable

  9. #84
    Super Member catmcclure's Avatar
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    You should show them the You Tube clip of the teenage girl who has a tantrum because her dad bought her a blue sports car instead of a red one...and say no more. At least you won't have to worry about buying or making any more Christmas presents for the unappreciative ones.
    Her father should have returned the blue car and gotten her a red bike. But, then again, he's the one who spoiled her that badly.

  10. #85
    Super Member #1piecemaker's Avatar
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    I am so sorry this happened to you. Did they realize that you made them yourself? I'd be proud to have one. I couldn't even begin to make one myself. Just goes to show you how commercialized Christmas has become. I personally wish it would go back to the more personized gifts like the ones you gave. Shame on them!!!

  11. #86
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    I tested the waters so to speak with my future DIL's, I made them each a nice cosmetic type bag with shower gel and lotions inside, neither seemed to be too impressed with my efforts so I guess that answers my question on wether they might like 'home made'. My sons were impressed !! Go figure

  12. #87
    Junior Member caspoohbear's Avatar
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    I (thankfully) listened to the voice in my head a week before Christmas... I had thought I should make a bag for my niece(5) because I'd made a pirate backpack for my nephew (8). I was getting stressed and not going to be able to finish everything I needed to. I got the message "don't stress over it, she won't appreciate it at her age anyway if it isn't a toy". When they opened presents, he loved his bag (and everything else-started putting the books and game in the bag), and she just tossed anything that wasn't a toy (books and clothes) in a pile. What a relief I hadn't stayed up late for something that would have been discarded so easily. I'm sorry you had that experience though. My mom made shopping sized bags for EVERYONE this year. But there was something in each bag too, that was how she wrapped gifts this year... I was worried about the reaction she might get, but mostly it was "Oh my, you MADE this for ME!"

  13. #88
    Senior Member moosegirl's Avatar
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    I reserve the Holidays for an old fashion Christmas-no store bought gifts. I send an inquiry out in July as to ideas for each family which suggests, style, color, theme so I have lots of information to chose from then they are surprised. This year everyone got personalized pillowcases or tablerunners in their themed fabric and it was a big hit. Last year was knitted scarves and hats. If you truly have someone in your family who doesn't like handcrafted gifts then send them an art appreciation book! Moosegirl

  14. #89
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Aw. so sorry!!!!!!!!! I LOVE getting HM gifts, it always makes me feel special!

  15. #90
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    One of the first threads I read on the QB was about making people a fleece throw to gauge their reaction to home-made gifts, before committing to making a quilt for them. Be glad you got this reaction, rude as it is, for a 4-hour bag instead of a 40-hour quilt.
    Next year I would suggest making a charity donation in their name.

  16. #91
    Super Member Chigger Holler Quilter's Avatar
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    {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
    So sorry! Don't let it get to you. If you EVER decide to make something for them again...try something small that you really enjoy making...(mug rugs?) or snap bags and then you can give them away and let it go!
    I have five children and 5 grands. I made the oldest daughter a quilt....she said thank you, but....
    I made her son a quillo when he was little and he loved it! He's 18 now and still has that thing even though it's in threads.He keeps asking me to make him another one, but I know that another one will never be as 'good' as the original. The others haven't gotten anything from me. MY BAD...I think I want to remedy that. My part is to do the giving...what they do with it is up to them. In life we win some and lose some! I think it's our hearts we need to be good with! (I would've loved to receive a bag someone else had gone to the trouble to make!)Many Blessings!

  17. #92
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    That has happened to me this year. I too am unhappy and refuse to make things for them any more. Have more time to do things for me now.

  18. #93

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    I agree. No more gifts for family.

  19. #94
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    When I was first married, my MIL made us a scrappy quilt for Christmas (out of poly). It was pretty and I really liked it and of course, made a fuss out of it. Her daughters also received one and they did not make much of a fuss about it. I am still using that quilt, almost 40 years old now. One of my favorites and so warm. I did not even imagaine I would ever quilt at the time. Now I really realize how much work went into that and wish she was here so I could make her know how much I appreciate it.

  20. #95
    Super Member Debbie B's Avatar
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    I understand how your feelings must have been hurt. I made 4 Bow Tucks purses for my bible study friends and one more for my daughter's friend. 4 of them loved the purses (one even wants to buy a smaller version), but 1 of them put her purse to the side and you could tell that she didn't like it. She didn't say a word just put the purse on the counter & her facial expression said "EEEEwwwww". So, my feelings were hurt. I don't think non-sewing or non-quilting people understand how much time, love & money go into making a gift. Below are pictures of the purses I made as Christmas gifts this year. In the first picture the purse on the left is the one that my friend didn't like :(
    Attached Images Attached Images



  21. #96

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    Oh, I am sooo sorry! Don't feel bad, I made two quilts; one was a beachy type (about 4 1/2 ft. x 5 1/2 ft). for my brother's shore house . . his wife said "oh thank you" without much enthusiasm. My niece - I made a Bad Hair Day with 1/2 square triangles and bad hair day squares and she didn't even open the whole thing (@&^%@*^$^&^(@$$^&*) and said "thanks for the BLANKET" - never even showed it to those sitting right with her!!! AND, I hand quilted both!!!! ARGHHHHH! So, I said the same thing to myself as you did!!!
    I definitely understand your thinking and feel the same way YOU do. Thanks for sharing; thought I was the only one disappointed!

  22. #97
    Junior Member Derla's Avatar
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    Those purses are beautiful and look almost like the "professional totes" I made. Anyone who sewed would certainly appreciate one of those purses for a gift, wouldn't you think?

  23. #98

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    p.s. Was so anxious to send you a message, I didn't see the pictures! They ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL! Shame on your family!!
    I would have LOVED to be the recipient of any of them!

  24. #99

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    Oops, I must learn to read before mouthing off . . now I see these are not the ones you made, but I am sure they are just as beautiful and I would have been THRILLED if someone had taken the time to make one for me. You both did a super job!

  25. #100
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    I LOVE home-hand made items. It just shows the care and love that is put into it. Anybody can go out shopping and pick up a replica of something. I usually get, but mom when do I get one. So sorry, here's a hug { } and I would ask for them all back and give them to someone who will appreciate them, Like me.

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