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Thread: anyone get this line and feel like you've been slapped?

  1. #26
    Super Member Nanamoms's Avatar
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    Actually, I think I got MORE done when I was working. I kept my time management better. So working is not an excuse. Everyone accomplishes what they wish to accomplish! Don't let anyone get you down for not working. You are providing a valuable service.

  2. #27
    Super Member justflyingin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quilt queen 2
    For years I worked sewed quilted knit volunteered and raised 4 great kids I think a lot of people just use the fact that they work as an excuse to get out of doing some things.
    This is true.

    But why does this bother you? Did you take it as a "I think you are lazy" comment because you don't work outside the home?

    It is true that people who hold another job 8-10 hours a day just don't have enough hours in the day to get other things done. Some can't. Some can. Depends on personality level, number of children in the home, organization level, perfectionist level, how much help hubby is, how old the kids are, how much tv one watches, etc.

    But I'd not take it is as a slap. Don't be sensitive. Just be glad you can stay at home--for whatever reason. If you are so sick that you can't work, or have a husband who provides and you can live frugally, or have already worked many years and get to stay home now, etc, don't let those comments bother you.

    But in truth, many people just don't have the organizational abilities to do much else if they work.

    But I'd guess a lot of ladies/men on this board WORK AND make quilts for charities.

  3. #28
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    People often open their mouths and don't know when to put a sock in it, don't let other peoples thoughtless mouths get to you, I work about 50 hours a week, but I still try to spend some time each week working on items for our local children's hospital, people make me crazy when they are so inconsiderate, keep up the work you can and let the words fly out of your head because you are doing the best you can, and some of us think your doing a great service :D

  4. #29
    Senior Member PunkQuilter's Avatar
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    Chairjogger-I can relate-I was doing some handwork in the doctor's office and someone said to me. "I don't have time for that". I replied, "It's important to me, so I MAKE time for it."

    When people say things like that, it is to make themselves feel better...it's not about you. I hope your health improves.

  5. #30
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    Just keep doing what you love! Your doing a wonderful thing!!!

  6. #31
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    I would have said...I am so glad I get to work at home! I was home for a year when laid off...and it is more work at home than at work....only difference is you get paid. My husband use to say what did you do all day...the house was spotless..and not noticed since I cleaned every day....I started to write of a list of my daily chores and what I did...I was even surprised on the amount of work that gets done. (Garden, weeding, cleaning, raking, mopping, clothes, making bed, shoveling, cooking..etc...glad to be back at work and the housework is shared once again and being able to slack off....
    Quote Originally Posted by crafty_linda_b
    Hey you should have just said "Yep some have to work and some get to quilt" I think she was feeling sorry for herself..she HAS to work...some people HAVE to work because they over extended themselves and are in debt up to their eyeballs...my DH & I live on a limited income..we just don't have or do anything fancy...but we are happy and I can quilt when I want to....don't let her comment bother you...you know that you are doing a service that makes others happy and gives them comfort..that is all that is important..Keep on Stitchin' Linda B.

  7. #32
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    she demonstrated a certain degree of ignorance and bad manners.

    i'd say she slapped her own face.

    no need to feel the sting on your cheeks. ;-)

  8. #33
    saf
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    Quote Originally Posted by chairjogger
    So, I make comfort quilts for children's hospital. Got hit by the "Oh I don't have time, I work." comment..
    My face still stings after that. Felt like I was slapped.

    If I could work, I would !! Was really nice and told this woman, "OK, but I do have time. "

    hmmm.. in the dumps today.
    You do have a job......being a decent caring human being.....seems you're doing pretty well with that.....

  9. #34
    Junior Member trugger's Avatar
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    I get that a lot too -
    "I just don't have the time to quilt... would you make me one?"

    I reply with a couple of different things:

    - I make the time, because it is important to me.
    - I'm not sure you could afford my prices....

  10. #35
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    I have friends who work but wish they could stay at home. But people are lucky to still have a job outside of home so I would have said "Oh that's too bad".

  11. #36
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    don't take it personal...lots of non-sewers say things like that...they do not understand that some of us work full time jobs (and still quilt) some are retired, some are disabled; it makes no difference...the whole time thing cracks me up!
    we all have the same 24 hours in each day...what we choose to do with those hours are personal choices...some people do not have time to sew anything but can sit on the couch and watch 2-3 hours of tv every night...some people choose to do other things with their time...just ignore comments made with no knowledge of what they are talking about...don't feel slapped...feel that you are a productive person who uses some of your time quilting, while the non-quilter spends her free time doing something else....work has nothing to do with a person's value!

  12. #37
    Super Member quiltmaker's Avatar
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    My feelings are that when you allow another person to get to you for no matter what reason then you are allowing them control over your feelings. She wins and you lose. Please don't let inconsiderate feelings from others make you feel miserable. Believe in yourself enough to know you are being the best you can be and not allow others to make you feel inferior in any way. Many of the comments listed above are so very true. But IMHO we are our own worst enemy in most situations when we allow others to make us feel bad and continue to stew over what was said. Their opinion/s should hold no value in your heart/head when your own self worth should be the most important thing for you. Believe in yourself and your accomplishments no matter what they are. You are the best YOU....and never allow anyone to take that away from you.

  13. #38
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    I am sorry that happened but don't let it bother you. It wasn't meant to hurt you, she was probably trying to justify to herself why she wasn't as giving as you.

  14. #39
    Senior Member Suzi's Avatar
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    When presented with a comment like "I don't have time to do that" my classic reply is "Make time". If you want to do something bad enough nothing will stand in your way .... but, you already know that!

  15. #40
    Super Member coachmatthewsvhs's Avatar
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    I'm thinking she was justifying her inability to help and didn't realize how that would sound to you!!! Be proud of yourself....... you are making a difference!

  16. #41
    Senior Member redvette54's Avatar
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    I have beeen guilty of saying, "sorry I can't or wish I could because of work". Thinking about it, I may have been rude to someone, because of being jeolous. I wish I could stay home. My workplace is so toxic. Try to forgive her for her rude remark, she may be in the same place I am. Keep up the good work and enjoy what you are doing.

  17. #42
    tmg
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    A lot of people work and quilt. It's called a hobby. We do it because we enjoy it or for relaxing after a hard days work.

  18. #43
    Super Member chairjogger's Avatar
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    Wow, thank you all for sharing your thoughts and own stories. I had no idea and felt very alone on this.

    I woke up this AM to wonderful ideas how to reply ( or not .. chuckle) to as one put it, rude and Ill-mannered comment.

    Thank you all. you have made me feel like I am doing something to help someone! Not just make little things.

    Good days to you all. This is very appreciated !

    Ell

  19. #44
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    I have jad to leave my job due to medical complications, amd I can witness to how much work it is just to keep up with a family and home. People wjo habe not been home full time simply do not understand how hard we work. Don't take it personally.

  20. #45
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    someone once said to me "how can you go on vacation when you don't work?" I was dumbfounded!!



    she has since retired and said she is busier now than when she worked.

  21. #46
    SEW
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    Don't let her thoughtless comment get you down...she has long forgotten that she even said that to you. We have a choice about what we think about. When you start to focus on that unpleasant conversation...shift to instead, I have made X number of comfort charity quilts. My work is to care for those who are struggling. My work is important!

  22. #47
    Super Member thequilterslink's Avatar
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    trust me, she wouldn't have time , if she didn't work. Dont' let senseless remarks bug you

  23. #48
    Super Member Jennifer22206's Avatar
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    Honestly, I don't think she meant anything by it. I work outside the home as a teacher, tutor after that, also write full time (trying to break into mainstream fiction) and translate, have a 2 year old and a DH that doesn't do tons around the house. Sometimes I *don't* have time to quilt. I try to, even if it's for 10 minutes a night, but there are days I just don't get the chance to do anything.

    Maybe that's all she meant. I don't know, wasn't there to hear it being said.

    Personally though, if I loved something, I'd make time to do it. Keep doing what you're doing as long as you're happy that's all that matters.

  24. #49
    Super Member pamesue's Avatar
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    I work outside the home...and yes I still have time to do volunteer work and quilt for charity....and do my own projects. I feel stressed from time to time, but oh the joy I feel when the projects are finished.

    She should attend a time management class :-) learn how to manage her time then she could not use that line as a excuse to not help..

    don't let her ruin your day..it's great what you do!

  25. #50
    Senior Member dolores's Avatar
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    She should consider herself blessed if she can work. I haven't worked in 12 years, I had back surgery in 2000 and had a pain pump implanted in 2006 I still have some pain but am able to do something I love to do. When God closes one door he will open another door. Consider your self blessed that you can now sew and bring a smile to other people. Some people can't do anything. Chip up. Smile

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