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Thread: anyone get this line and feel like you've been slapped?

  1. #76
    Senior Member Sewsweet's Avatar
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    I DON'T WORK! Like you I don't work, I volunteer. I make comfort quilts for all kinds of people, and we may not get paid for our work like some do, we get paid so much more, and we love our job. Keep this in mine.

    Volunteers are not paid, not because they are worthless, but because they are priceless.

    Keep up the good work.

    Quote Originally Posted by chairjogger
    So, I make comfort quilts for children's hospital. Got hit by the "Oh I don't have time, I work." comment..
    My face still stings after that. Felt like I was slapped.

    If I could work, I would !! Was really nice and told this woman, "OK, but I do have time. "

    hmmm.. in the dumps today.

  2. #77
    Super Member Favorite Fabrics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chairjogger
    "I don't have time; I work." ... Hmmm.. in the dumps today.
    Please don't be in the dumps. If you have time... then you are rich in a way that the other person is not!

    Consider that there are two kinds of poverty: being without money, and being without time. Both are capable of draining the joy out of life.

    Note: I'm talking about USA-poverty, not third-world poverty.

  3. #78
    Super Member Deborah12687's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GwynR
    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah12687
    I don't take any of my quilting projects when I go to appointments. What happened to me is I sew most of my clothing and the gal sitting next to me at my dental office was admiring my blouse and asked what store I purchased it at. When I told her I sewed it myself she stopped talking to me. When I stood up to go in to see the dentist she pulled me aside and told me you know you can get free clothing from the good will if you can't afford it. I told her I don't need charity I enjoy sewing my own clothes and I also am a quilter with tons of fabric. She got very red in the face.
    Oh my! It's usually more expensive to make your own clothes! LOL
    I sew my clothes because I don't like the cheapness of imported clothing that is in most stores thes days and doesn't last very long. By sewing my own I can sew my own from better fabric and get the prints and colors that I like. At least making my own clothes is cheaper then making a quilt.

  4. #79
    Super Member LoriEl's Avatar
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    I wish I could make my own clothes! AND there are many quilters who do work but MAKE TIME because giving to charity is important to us. So maybe she's feeling guilty for not taking an interest in something that won't make a monetary return. In other words-she's SELFISH!

  5. #80
    Senior Member quilter1943's Avatar
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    People are so thoughtless. And what frosts me is that because someone works 35 hours a week - many times less - they think they don't have to volunteer or do anything to help anyone else. I recently retired, but when I worked I still volunteered and was on the board of a local charity and made Linus quilts. Don't let it get you down. Be proud of what you're able to do. There are many who do appreciate it. Hugs

  6. #81
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    I have never had an outside job. As a young bride my mom told me that it was my job to take care of my home and family, and to learn to live on my husbands salary. There were plenty of times that it was really hard to do, especially when sisters and SIL's were all working and seemed to have so much nicer things than we did. It was also at a time when women were showing they were as valued in the workplace as men, and for us who werent working, we were sort of looked upon as not being quite "good enough". I remember going out for cocktails with my husband and a group that he worked with, and there were several women in the group. I was asked by one what did I do, and when I said I took care of my home and family the looks I got were instantly demeaning. And for the rest of the time, they all talked about work and I was ignored. My husband was in upper level management so we were often in gatherings such as this, and it was always the same. The men were nice and even attentive, but not the women. I got so I hated going. My sisters all held jobs, and none had as many children as I, so they really didnt have too, they wanted too. What was so funny to me, and showed some jealousy was when I turned 65 and could collect SS on my husband, one sister was livid. I drew as much as she did, and she thought that was unfair because I had never worked. I told her I worked my A$$ off all those years, and my children all had a good sound upbringing and they knew they had plenty of love, a home to bring friends too, and "mom" when they needed me. So dont you let anyone make you feel worthless if being at home for your family is what is important to you. Remember, anyone can be taught a job skill, but there isnt anything but hands on learning for "just being a mom".

  7. #82
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    she was not thinking.don't let her bother you-go quilt and be happy :lol: :lol:

  8. #83
    Junior Member sew_sew's Avatar
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    I worked, had 5 kids and sewed. When a person says they don't have time, usually means they don't want to.

  9. #84
    Super Member Deborah12687's Avatar
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    are you saying that I am selfish?

  10. #85
    Super Member chairjogger's Avatar
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    Wow ! I have never posted something that struck such a chord.
    I see so many ways to explain this woman's comment ( by the way, it is every time I see her), why I should not comment - why start a dialogue of my obvious disabilities, and some wonderful ( !) candy for my mind - things I can say to myself as I walk away!

    Thank you all. I agree, not said in malice, but once said, does not need repeated.

    thank you everyone !!

  11. #86
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    I am sorry that she made you feel bad. It's so hard when someone says something thoughtless that hits a place where we're sensitive.

    You probably should have replied something like "I know plenty of people who manage to do both" just to give her a taste of her own medicine. :roll:

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by chairjogger
    Wow ! I have never posted something that struck such a chord.

    Thank you all. I agree, not said in malice, but once said, does not need repeated.
    Oh, this is several times? Then I'd say, "that's what you always say." Maybe when she starts to say "I work" You can sing-song it with her and laugh like it's a joke.

    Find a humorous way to tell her that many people do both, work and make quilts for charity.

    And she could be feeling bad that she doesn't think she has the time to do the things you so... I know, no excuse...

    Good luck

  13. #88
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    We all use time limits as an excuse to not do things that are not a high priority. The woman in question used working as a excuse to not quilt because she doesn't really want to quilt. If she did, she would make the time and drop another activity.

    There are lots of things I don't do because I work. I do the things that are really important to me, but if I had another 8-10 hours free a day, I would add some other things I can't do now.

    It's a matter of priority - we do what's most important to us in the time we have.

  14. #89
    Super Member LucyInTheSky's Avatar
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    And she was just saying that she would like to do something fun but can't because she's not in a situation where she can do that. So be glad that you are able to quilt all day and that you're choosing to help children in need!

    My goal is to get to a point where I don't need an outside job and can quilt all the time. That'll be awesome :D

  15. #90
    Super Member LucyInTheSky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrishNY
    We all use time limits as an excuse to not do things that are not a high priority. The woman in question used working as a excuse to not quilt because she doesn't really want to quilt. If she did, she would make the time and drop another activity.

    There are lots of things I don't do because I work. I do the things that are really important to me, but if I had another 8-10 hours free a day, I would add some other things I can't do now.

    It's a matter of priority - we do what's most important to us in the time we have.
    Very well said. Hmmm, I should go to the gym...

  16. #91
    Super Member Vicki W's Avatar
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    People have excuses why they cannot do things. I have people tell me all the time, how do you get so much done? I would like to sew, quilt etc. I figure people spend their time doing what they want to do. I still work full time and get things done. (I dont think I will ever get the volume of work completed by some of you, maybe when I get to retire)

    I really don't believe it is a one thing or the other but instead what you choose to do.

    You do beautiful work and contribute to a good cause, take pride in that don't worry about what others say or do. A wise friend of mine once told me, "pick your battles" if you can't change it or it isn't worth the battle don't worry with it.

  17. #92
    Super Member hperttula123's Avatar
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    I wouldn't let it offend you. She must not want to do it. I have a full time job(with occasional lay-offs) and I have three children(four if you count the bf) and I still have time to make supper, run the kids everywhere they need to go, make sure everything is taken care of, and still make time to sew. I don't get to do it everyday but, I do it when I can. I make sure to do charity quilts every year and make cat and dog beds for the local shelter. In my opinion, it's her cop-out for not making them.

  18. #93
    Super Member Carron's Avatar
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    It's not that she 'doesn't' have the time, she just does not want to 'make' the time to do something worth while like makeing and giving to someone elso.
    Bet she would do it if $$$$ was given her. So sad that she will miss out on getting a blesseing.

  19. #94
    Super Member chairjogger's Avatar
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    This is when I need the like button as in facebook style. I have had so many wonderful posts !
    Thanks everyone !

  20. #95
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    She should be thankful she has a job! I'm disabled and can't work. I would love to have a job and still find the time to quilt. She should spend a day in someone else's shoes. She'd find out how fortunate she is!

  21. #96
    Senior Member dash2000lbs's Avatar
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    I think the "Green monster" got ahold of her
    Pay her mo mind ...

  22. #97
    Super Member IrelandDragonQuilting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalaland
    "I work", oh pleeeeeeeese. I used to tell people I had a job because it was way harder and way more work to stay at home!

    You could always say, "Oh, so you work outside the home, good for you!"
    I love it! That is a very good come back.

  23. #98
    Super Member annesthreads's Avatar
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    I can understand why you were hurt by what she said, but as someone who struggled with fulltime work until a few weeks ago, and all the frustrations of lack of time for quilting and other hobbies I also wonder if perhaps she was tired, stressed, worn out, and saw someone who, to her, seemed to have all the time that she longed for, and she thoughtlessly vented a bit of her frustration - no, that's not right, but forgiveable, maybe? Who knows without knowing her circumstnaces? Many, many people are not working for more possessions or because they're materialistic, but to keep a roof over their head and food on the table. The feeling of being trapped and no end in sight can feel very, very hard - I often had to pull myself up from envy of those who didn't do paid work, for whatever reason. The truth is, I think, that the grass is often greener - we're not seeing the whole picture when we look at other people's lives and think how good they look, and have no insight into all the problems that they may be struggling with. Just reading the posts on this board brings that home to me - lucky people who have lots of free time for quilting - yes, but who might also be struggling with chronic pain or other difficult circumstances.

  24. #99
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    She's just jealous!! Get back to your quilting, don't let anyone take that pleasure from you!! It's great that you make comfort quilts!!! They mean a lot to the people lucky enough to get them!

  25. #100
    Senior Member grammy17's Avatar
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    God bless you Donna. Since I retired and took up quilting, I don't think I would have time to go to an outside job any more. Or the desire to cope with the public.

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