QM

Please try to trust yourself. you deserve better. As a teacher, I must have heard hundreds of times, "You made me smart." Wrong. Someone else made those students FEEL dumb and untalented. Whoever chose to make you feel untalented, don't let the bullies win. My grandmother did that to both Mom and my aunt. Mom was in her 60's before I was able to persuade her to overcome my abusive grandmother's harm. It turned out that she was very talented.

Grandma Peg

So sorry that you feel you aren't talented but I bet your quilts are fantastic. Be proud that you are a quilter and can do it!! If quilting is your hobby, keep doing it and let us help you gain some confidence by showing your quilts. Good luck.

sandybuttons

I understand how you feel, when we grow up feeling inferior or hurt when we reach out, not putting our selves out there for someone to hurt us again feels safe. I can finish quilts because they are mine and I don't have to share unless I want to, but I do not make phone calls or send cards or write letters. I feel safer just not reaching out. I know no one is going to be unkind any more but this thing inside holds me back..If I do call my children the first thing they ask is something wrong. I am okay with it because it is just me, and understanding why I don't reach out helps. Not finishing a quilt is your business and you never have to finish if you don't want to. Quilting is your journey go as far as makes you happy

fixfido

I have to say I can relate to your feelings! I have almost wondered if my inability to finish was something more sinister than simple procrastination......do I have adult A.D.D.? Am I clinically depressed and, for some reason, fearful of completion? I don't have the answers, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this!

annesthreads

I think this is partly what I'm feeling - I suspect there are some old, half-buried memories of being proud of things I'd done and then the terrible disappointment of being told they weren't very good. On another forum this week someone made a mildly critical comment - though I'm absolutely sure it was even intended as such - and all the compliments I'd received on that piece of work just turned to dust -I could only see what she'd called attention to. It's so true that one criticism outweighs 10 compliments! Maybe not finishing protects me from the vulnerability of having the quilt out there and open to criticism and/or disappointment.

annesthreads

I've wondered about all this too. I know I'm not clinically depressed at the moment - been there done that - just a bit lonely over the holiday weekend - but the inability to focus sometimes scares me, though I laugh at my "butterfly mind". With quilts, I think it's been partly the lure of the next exciting project that has led to UFOs building up, plus the very practical problems with my old machine. I've taken steps - putting all the projects except the one I'm working on out of sight helped a lot - but still tend to split myself between different projects. I'm doing the Leah Day Quilt Along, which is great fun and helping my quilting hugely - but of course that's giving me less time to tackle the backlog and is even adding to it as things get stuck at the binding stage. I notice the same thing in other areas of life and have to be careful not to spread myself too thinly. Probably not ADD as such, but tendencies that way that just have to be managed. I think our society just encourages this scattered mindset -far too many different media and possibilities, and some of us have trouble limiting ourselves!

annesthreads

I don't actually mind binding, once I've got it sewn onto the quilt (hate trying to get the 2 ends together!)- I enjoy the hand sewing. It's just getting myself to do it...

annesthreads

I don't think it's perfectionism that's the issue any more. Used to be - I ruined my first few years of quilting by thinking everything had to be perfect. I've moved on from that, and if they look OK from several feet away with my glasses off, that'll do! I don't intend to enter any shows. It's the enjoyment of the process that matters. No, strangely, there's almost a pain in seeing that my work IS quite good - that's surprisingly hard to deal with. Which must be where the old stories are still getting in the way.

earthwalker

Sometimes an inability to complete things is because of a deep seated fear of failure, being worried about not "coming up to scratch". Doing your best, learning and getting better each time is what we should be aiming for. Not perfection, as this is unattainable. I agree with you about everything being so "scattered" these days, if we allow it, those cell phones and computers will throw a spanner in the schedule every time.

annesthreads

That's more than enough from me about me! Again, thankyou all for your kind responses. I've replied to a few, but they've all been read and appreciated.
I'm away from home till this evening, but will post pictures of some of the quilts. Or you could look on my blog

http://annes-threads.blogspot.com

- last year I posted several times about my (mostly unsuccessful) efforts to finish some UFOs.

I HAVE to finish the quilt I've just started - it's for a friend's baby, due mid-May!