Does anyone's husband/wife complain about your buying fabric?
01-26-2010, 10:07 AM
#121
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 1,463
Originally Posted by sylslight
To all the ladies whose husbands "encourage" them: omg! ...... husbands, what would we do without them? lol I really appreciate the fact that he wants to be part of it but really? i dont need tons of baby fabric! lol
01-26-2010, 10:10 AM
#122
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: League City, Texas (Houston Area)
Posts: 137
Sounds to me like he might be a little jealous??
Originally Posted by Shelbie
You ladies with supportive spouses and partners are indeed fortunate. Mine not only complains about the amount of "stuff" I have but also makes nasty comments about "creating works of beauty for others when I could be doing so many more productive things". Other things for him mean cleaning or gardening which I do in moderation or when it's necessary. He also is very against me making anything for "perfect strangers" which makes it difficult when I am chair of Community Quilts for my local guild. I don't think his attitude will ever change and should I leave this world before him, I'm sure he would just use our son's dump truck and clean out my sewing room. In other matters, he is a nice guy so why the big hate for my stitching has always been a mystery to me.
01-26-2010, 10:59 AM
#123
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,148
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
Penny
01-26-2010, 11:47 AM
#125
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Amarillo, Texas
Posts: 18
My husband is so supportive and yes, he even goes with me to pick out fabric. I think he enjoys it more than he lets on. I am so thankful that he doesn't complain. He has even cut up all my scraps into strips and squares for me.
01-26-2010, 12:18 PM
#126
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Monroeville, PA
Posts: 547
Thanks for the advice Janice.
Even though our finances are alright. We are a 1 income family so I cannot go out and spend 100-200$ a month. But we do end up having money that can be spent and it does get spent. I just married a guy that doesn't like his wife to spend money.
My mom is my great enabler. Last weekend when I wanted to buy fabric for a planned quilt. I had 5$ on me. I have saved up a lot of books for years so I gathered all that I could part with and took them to the used book store I got 20$ out of that. Well my fabric came to 35$ and my mom covered the last bit.
I realized years ago my husband does not like spending money when we went into a thrift store and I saw an outfit I wanted. It was like 5-10$. I asked if I could get it and he said maybe next week. (knowing that at a thrift store there was no guarantee it would be there next week) He never took me back and I realized that was the brush off
I am never able to hide my spending as he handles all the money so I have to get it from him if I get any. when I do get some I save it.
Like I said before I picked him. I was young and didnt realized my choice fully but it has been 8 years. You learn to live with your spouse's quirks, mine just happens to be no spending by me. I do love the man so what can I do.
He doesn't drink, or do drugs, he doesn't stay out all night with friends or other women. In fact we spend all our time together unless he is at work. I use to work with him but not anymore now that I am disabled. So other then money I have little to complain about :)
I made him one. He likes it, I made him a flannel plaid rag quilt.
Maybe if I get him a hobby that he has to spend money on he would lighten up but ohh well what can I say I picked him :P
You can't get anyone a hobby. they have to be hobby types.. and if they are not they will less likely understand anyone who has one and enjoys that time doing it. Husbands upset about the money sometimes have good reason to be I have seen some quilters shop ;)>LOL.. some buy tons of fabric and store it for years.. if the family is not able to afford this he has the right to be upset.. so ... or if you are hiding your spendatures...as many woman do that makes for a rocky road as well. If all you are able to do is scrappy quilts because of not having fabric and he does not like scrappy that could just add to his disapproval of it all. I think making him something is a good idea too...also some husband are just not happy when their woman is not with them 24/ 7 ;( although I am fortunate not to have a husband like this I know several woman who have them ;(
There could be lots of things going on there.... if a few dollars cause a problem. Communication is always good.. if you enjoy this hobby you will be happier being able to do it and if you are happier and not feeling put into a box by his wishes he also will be happier ;). It could be a win win for everyone;)
I donate most of my work.. donating is tax deductable. :):)
I try to spend time with him when he is here and on weekends if he is busy or wanting to do other things he enjoys I am sewing at that time. That works out well:) but I always check back and touch base.. .come down have lunch with him... . I like my man ;)>. ...and want not to neglect him. During the week when he is at work I can sew all day if i so wish. I think it is about balance for everyone. as we can get obsessed with this fabulous hobby ! Just my humble opinion ;)>>
Even though our finances are alright. We are a 1 income family so I cannot go out and spend 100-200$ a month. But we do end up having money that can be spent and it does get spent. I just married a guy that doesn't like his wife to spend money.
My mom is my great enabler. Last weekend when I wanted to buy fabric for a planned quilt. I had 5$ on me. I have saved up a lot of books for years so I gathered all that I could part with and took them to the used book store I got 20$ out of that. Well my fabric came to 35$ and my mom covered the last bit.
I realized years ago my husband does not like spending money when we went into a thrift store and I saw an outfit I wanted. It was like 5-10$. I asked if I could get it and he said maybe next week. (knowing that at a thrift store there was no guarantee it would be there next week) He never took me back and I realized that was the brush off
I am never able to hide my spending as he handles all the money so I have to get it from him if I get any. when I do get some I save it.
Like I said before I picked him. I was young and didnt realized my choice fully but it has been 8 years. You learn to live with your spouse's quirks, mine just happens to be no spending by me. I do love the man so what can I do.
He doesn't drink, or do drugs, he doesn't stay out all night with friends or other women. In fact we spend all our time together unless he is at work. I use to work with him but not anymore now that I am disabled. So other then money I have little to complain about :)
Originally Posted by janice4
Originally Posted by AbbyQuilts
Originally Posted by nellebelles
For those of you who have complaining spouses, maybe if you make him/her a quilt of their own, showcasing a hobby or something special they like, it might change the way they think about your hobby... Worth a try, maybe? ;-)
Maybe if I get him a hobby that he has to spend money on he would lighten up but ohh well what can I say I picked him :P
There could be lots of things going on there.... if a few dollars cause a problem. Communication is always good.. if you enjoy this hobby you will be happier being able to do it and if you are happier and not feeling put into a box by his wishes he also will be happier ;). It could be a win win for everyone;)
I donate most of my work.. donating is tax deductable. :):)
I try to spend time with him when he is here and on weekends if he is busy or wanting to do other things he enjoys I am sewing at that time. That works out well:) but I always check back and touch base.. .come down have lunch with him... . I like my man ;)>. ...and want not to neglect him. During the week when he is at work I can sew all day if i so wish. I think it is about balance for everyone. as we can get obsessed with this fabulous hobby ! Just my humble opinion ;)>>
01-26-2010, 01:38 PM
#128
Super Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,474
mine doesnt complain, he encourages me( because he knows it keeps my busy with something i enjoy) he will even go to jo anns with me to pick it out , he also let me have a jo ann charge card so when i go there he can pay the bill !!!!!
01-26-2010, 01:44 PM
#129
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: At my LQS
Posts: 2,326
Originally Posted by sylvia77
My husband complains if I want to spend money on fabric, if it's only $5.00! I have to sneak it in so he doesn't get mad. Does anyone else have this problem?
I am sorry when I hear other woman saying they have to ask permission in order to spend money. It doesn't matter who earns the paycheck. In a marriage you are a team.
I think both parties have to understand their budget, but perhaps the two of you could determine the amount of money each of you could spend monthly without having to account for each penny. After bills are paid, and groceries are bought, it might only be $10 or $20 for each of you. The point is, that each of you should be able to spend a little money however you see fit, without having to justify to the other how your spent your share.
My husband and I don't have a set amount for ourselves but neither of us overspend and neither of us would make a large purchase without discussing it first.
it just seems to me that you are both adults and asking permission seems like a parent/child situation. Your husband may not "get" your need for fabric, and I'll bet there might be something he likes that doesn't make sense to you. I hope you two can have a conversation about this and come up with a manageable solution. Then if you want to buy fabric, and he wants to spend his money on ??? both of you will be happy.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
butterflywing
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
146
03-23-2012 04:54 PM
