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Thread: guilty quilting - gwuilting

  1. #1
    Senior Member lisalisa's Avatar
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    Every time I quilt I feel like I'm "supposed" to be doing something else. Like cleaning or working. I have the most ideal job one could ask for and yet, I'd rather be playing with fabric.

    I need to find some balance, but that's so much easier said than done.

  2. #2
    Member winterfun's Avatar
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    We all have been there or are there now. Good Luck and never feel guilty about doing something you love. Remember to take time for yourself so you can better serve others.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Mary M's Avatar
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    Just don't feel guilty while you are quilting for it is something to be proud about....could be doing something unworthwhile and then you could feel guilty. I know we get behind sometimes on other things but what the heck, we only live once and quilting is definitely a plus in our lives. Happy quilting. :)

  4. #4
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    You know, I have worked hard for many years to try and overcome this guilt every time I am doing something I enjoy, sewing, scrapbooking, even reading. My husband has no problem sitting for hours watching sports on TV or leaving to play golf for a good five hours. He never criticizes me for doing my hobbies yet I still carry the guilt bug on my shoulder. Is it a female thing????

  5. #5
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    I am a happier more productive person if I give myself some time for what I love. So.......I don't feel guilty.

  6. #6
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Don't feel guilty over doing something that IS productive, makes you feel happy, and is a healthy outlet :D:D:D

  7. #7
    Junior Member glassnquilts's Avatar
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    I feel guilty about not quilting when I am stuck doing laundry and vacuuming. :lol:

  8. #8
    Cyn
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    Super Member Cyn's Avatar
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    If you were out in bars and on the streets - now that you should quilty about. Quilting- never :)

  9. #9
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    I tell myself, "When I get this done (whatever this is) then I am going to quilt for awhile." DH encourages me to quilt, still the guilt is there.

    I wonder if it is a women thing too, maybe the old saying a womens work is never done is true.
    JulieM

  10. #10
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    It is a generation of women thing. Those of us over 50 (and a few younger) were raised that it is our job to keep the house clean, cook nourishing meals (3), take care of every one else in the household, and always wear a smile and look good for DH. We weren't supposed to have time for ourselves. Get over it - this is the 21st century! We now know that we are no good for anything if we aren't good to ourselves.

  11. #11
    mygirl66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShirlinAZ
    It is a generation of women thing. Those of us over 50 (and a few younger) were raised that it is our job to keep the house clean, cook nourishing meals (3), take care of every one else in the household, and always wear a smile and look good for DH. We weren't supposed to have time for ourselves. Get over it - this is the 21st century! We now know that we are no good for anything if we aren't good to ourselves.
    You said it sister, Im with you! :thumbup:

  12. #12
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    I fit in that age range mentioned above. And I really don't remember my own mother doing her own pleasurable hobbies while I was growing up. It's a shame. She put off things that would have made her happier (and emotionally healthier) in the long run. I sometimes feel the guilt but I know it's best not to just live through our family members...if that makes sense.

  13. #13
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShirlinAZ
    It is a generation of women thing. Those of us over 50 (and a few younger) were raised that it is our job to keep the house clean, cook nourishing meals (3), take care of every one else in the household, and always wear a smile and look good for DH. We weren't supposed to have time for ourselves. Get over it - this is the 21st century! We now know that we are no good for anything if we aren't good to ourselves.
    That sounds like the "old" me. I made myself a nervous wreck trying to do it all. Not anymore!! Now I do just what I want to do, when I want too. And it is soooooo much better!

  14. #14
    Super Member tjradj's Avatar
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    Guilt is a totally useless emotion.
    I try not to entertain it.

  15. #15
    Super Member pattypurple's Avatar
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    If your family isn't starving and the health department hasn't condemned your house then you are doing OK. Enjoy your quilting without guilt.

    Pat

  16. #16
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    can i join that club lol

  17. #17
    Super Member grann of 6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom2boyz
    You know, I have worked hard for many years to try and overcome this guilt every time I am doing something I enjoy, sewing, scrapbooking, even reading. My husband has no problem sitting for hours watching sports on TV or leaving to play golf for a good five hours. He never criticizes me for doing my hobbies yet I still carry the guilt bug on my shoulder. Is it a female thing????
    Yes, it is a woman thing :roll: We were taught by our mothers that we are supposed to be "housekeepers" and everything should be clean and tidy all the time. My mother didn't quilt but did sew everything we wore, curtains, everything. Quilting now is looked at as a "pasttime" or hobby so we feel guilty that we aren't doing the household things. To me it is important to feed the soul, and for me that is sewing and quilting. Our families wouldn't be very happy to live with us if we were just a drudge.

  18. #18
    Junior Member EskapetheNorm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pattypurple
    If your family isn't starving and the health department hasn't condemned your house then you are doing OK. Enjoy your quilting without guilt.

    Pat
    I agree with this ... and when my college-aged daughter comes home and complains about the state of the house (this is the daughter that I don't think I saw the floor of her room but once a year while a teenager!) and how none of her brothers help out ... I think that life will even it all out. And we are working on the brothers helping out, just if I spend too much of my time nagging/reminding ... I get very cranky and don't like myself very much. Would rather have a little clutter.

  19. #19
    Super Member nanna-up-north's Avatar
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    I'm in that "June Cleaver as a role model" age group (64) as well. But I've decided on a different approach. If I don't get some of my fabric used up making quilts,..... what will my daughter do with all that stash???? I need to keep quilting ...... daughter and sister-in-law are already quibbling over who will get the quilt in my avitar once I'm gone.... I'd better keep quilting. It might keep the kids happier.

  20. #20
    Junior Member bevster's Avatar
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    I have ALWAYS been unable to quilt with a house that needs cleaning. When I have the house spic and span I enjoy quilting so much more. I guess both have a therapy affect on a person - clean house, great quilting. Wow, that sound like something my Mother would have said like she always told me "clean in the corners" and the rest will take care of itself.

  21. #21
    Junior Member mrsddh97's Avatar
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    I feel guilty because I don't spend enough time quilting. I have all this great stuff, patterns, fabric and I don't get to spend nearly as much time as I like or feel I need to quilting.

  22. #22
    Senior Member petpainter's Avatar
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    I'm just 54, and now just have my adult son live with me and I still can't have a day for ME unless the house is PERFECT! My Son doesn't care- it's just me. I just feel like I have to discipline myself or I feel guilty. I guess it has it's good and bad points! I have a sewing room that I can close the door to, so that part isn't an issue thank goodness :-)

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by mygirl66
    Quote Originally Posted by ShirlinAZ
    It is a generation of women thing. Those of us over 50 (and a few younger) were raised that it is our job to keep the house clean, cook nourishing meals (3), take care of every one else in the household, and always wear a smile and look good for DH. We weren't supposed to have time for ourselves. Get over it - this is the 21st century! We now know that we are no good for anything if we aren't good to ourselves.
    You said it sister, Im with you! :thumbup:
    I know just what you mean, so now I take the time or set aside a day to quilt, paint, sew or go bumming, I earned it.

    Carol J.

  24. #24
    Super Member Bonbonary's Avatar
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    It's a "woman" thing from past generations. Even though most of us work outside the home now, we still come home to our second job of kids, meals and cleaning. Men have no problem with their hobbies, golf, sports, etc. and we should learn from them. We deserve our time, too. It's just harder to find that time. Enjoy your hobby whenever you can!

    Thankfully, I see a lot of the younger generation of men helping with the kids and such.

  25. #25
    Senior Member so-sew's Avatar
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    I feel your pain. My housework is constantly being postponed because quilting is so much more fun and fulfilling than dusting. Unfortunately my best friend, who is not a quilter, is an exemplary housekeeper and I want to hide in shame when she comes over. I always advise her to come on a cloudy day and DON'T wear black!

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