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Thread: Help with ideas for special baby

  1. #1
    Super Member greaterexp's Avatar
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    I have a very young friend whose baby is about to be born with multiple congenital defects. Babies born with these problems (Trisomy 13, I believe) usually die very shortly after birth. Her baby is expected to live only an hour or two. Someone has made her a quilt already, which she is so thrilled about. I've been asked to make some other kind of gift as a keepsake for her, but I'm lost as to what to do. I have very little time in which to make it, so an embroidery project is out (it would have to be done by hand, and I'm rusty). Does anyone have any ideas for me? Thanks in advance. I can't imagine what this young woman must be suffering and has yet to go through.

  2. #2
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    A little outfit - clothing.

  3. #3
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    Can you make a tiny bonnet or little gown that the baby can wear while she holds him or her and has some photos taken? Then she can either keep the little item or sadly have the baby buried with it and then she'll have a photo of the baby wearing it.

    So heartbreaking. I will pray for her, her little one and the family.

  4. #4
    SMR
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    I don't have any ideas for you but my heart goes out to the mother.

  5. #5
    Senior Member LisaGibbs's Avatar
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    Go buy a pre made wood box at Hobby Lobby and paint and line the inside with fabric so that they can put the hospital bracelets, lock of hair, etc. inside.

  6. #6
    Super Member suebee's Avatar
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    Oh...so sad. I think this is a beautiful idea too. God bless that tiny one :(

    Quote Originally Posted by AFQSinc
    Can you make a tiny bonnet or little gown that the baby can wear while she holds him or her and has some photos taken? Then she can either keep the little item or sadly have the baby buried with it and then she'll have a photo of the baby wearing it.

    So heartbreaking. I will pray for her, her little one and the family.

  7. #7
    Junior Member kuseta's Avatar
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    I think a nice bonnet or dress would be a lovely item to make for her.

  8. #8
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    I like the keepsake box idea. Also, you could give her the handprint/footprint kit that is sold at Hobby Lobby. She will want these things later.

  9. #9
    Senior Member qbquilts's Avatar
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    It's not something that you can give ahead of time, but once the baby passes, can you help with the funeral and headstone expenses? We had a family who lost their child at 3 days (was a miracle she survived the birth - about 50% of babies with her defect are miscarried, of the others very few are born alive and usually die within hours). It took them months before they had the money to pay for a headstone for their daughter. I know it troubled them that she didn't have a proper headstone for so long.

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    How about going to a pottery painting place and making a special frame to hold a picture of the baby? I think the keepsake box and handprint/footprint kit are great ideas, too, along with the special little gown.

    She may already know this, but there are volunteer photographers who will be on call to come to the hospital and take pictures in situations like this, when the babies are expected to be stillborn or to not live very long. That may be something she would appreciate later.

  11. #11
    Super Member cmagee84's Avatar
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    Lots of good ideas given already, just wanted to say my heart is breaking for her and I will be praying.

  12. #12
    Super Member greaterexp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmagee84
    Lots of good ideas given already, just wanted to say my heart is breaking for her and I will be praying.
    You folks have to be the sweetest, kindest, and most creative people on earth. God bless you for the ideas and prayers.

  13. #13
    Super Member sahm4605's Avatar
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    I would do two things. A very very very special top to be finished after the baby is born and passes with his pic in the top. I would make most of it and give it to the mom at the "party" or what have you and after you get the baby's pic then make sure that it is large enough to hug her. that way it will be like the baby is always there to tell her that (s)he love her. and try and get some of the pics of the ultrasound and stuff to put in it. and the other thing would be a large enough wooden box to hold the quilt and a foot or hand print in. decoupage it with pics of the mommy to be and of the family. and inside line it with fabric and if they are religious maybe religious saying fabrics. this she can keep all her "baby" stuff in. I will be praying for the mommy and daddy and family to get through this tragic time.

  14. #14
    Super Member fabric_fancy's Avatar
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    i've lost 2 babies in similar circumstances.

    you might want to contact the hospital in her area and get the number for the bereavement group for child loss.

    most of these place have a memorial wall or walk where the names are listed - the fees aren't that high and the money goes to continuation of the bereavement group.

    my dear friends purchased 2 bricks on the walk and a bench in the names of my 2 lost daughters.

    it was the most wonderful thing that any one could have done for us.

    i personally did not want a quilt or other memento items in my home as a daily reminder.

    going thru this has been and will always be the most difficult time of my life and to have items in my home as a constant reminder would only keep the wound open.

    its hard for people to understand because when you are given this news from the doctor you are given the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy.

    as the mother you have to decide which way you want your child to die because either way that is the final end result.

    no mother should ever have to choose which way her child shall die.

  15. #15
    Super Member Thumbelina's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to the family. I know what she's going through, as one of my grandsons was born with HLHS and we lost him after 21 months of watching him suffer.

  16. #16
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    Prayers for this family.That is so sad

  17. #17
    Senior Member countrymaid's Avatar
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    A fall silk arrangement that could be used as a grave marker before the headstone can be arranged for. It's hard to walk away from a precious spot that is yet to be marked. Your florist should have something with a ground spike that wouldn't blow away.

  18. #18
    Super Member SherriB's Avatar
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    I don't have any ideas, but as a Mother who has 3 Angels in Heaven, my heart just aches for her. I can understand what she is going through.

  19. #19
    Super Member MaryAnnMc's Avatar
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    When my friend's baby died after being born preemie, I gave them a tree to plant in their yard. They loved it. But fabric- fancy's idea of bricks/benches for a bereavement memorial is a wonderful idea.

    Please tell her we're keeping her in our prayers, and you are a good friend. I lost my first to a very early miscarriage, but have been blessed with two healthy (now adult) kids. I am blessed.

  20. #20
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    I like the idea of a tree they could plant in their yard or the bench/brick idea.

    I must also say, we have friends whose first child was born with similar issues (sorry don't know the name of the exact syndrome) and was expected to die within hours of birth. Funeral arrangements made, etc. Their son is now, amazingly, in his early 20's. They have written the books with the docs as they go along. I can only say it's an incredible testament to the Doc's and obviously the parents of this child that he is still here. It's been more than a challenge for them through the years but they have taken it all in stride. They now also have two other healthy children as well. Don't give up on this little angel yet!

  21. #21
    Super Member QuiltnCowgirl's Avatar
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    How about a second quilt so she can bundle her baby in one & keep the other? (She may not have even thought of this)

  22. #22
    Power Poster blueangel's Avatar
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    My heartfelt prayers goes out to this family.

  23. #23
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    Prayers for the expectant mother and the little angel. All the ideas and suggestions are good, and you are a dear friend to be thinking of them and trying to ease their sorrow. Just knowing everyone cares will help ease their pain.
    Sue

  24. #24
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    Stopping to say a prayer for the baby and its parents and also to Thank God that my recently born great grandchild is healthy and thriving. Sometimes we forget to be thankful for all that goes well in our lives.

  25. #25
    Super Member Sienna's GiGi's Avatar
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    God Bless this family.

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