redmadder

My friend had a grape arbor that produced a bumper crop of concords one summer. He and I made grape jam. It was so delicious and everyone was fighting over the last few jars. The next winter I made him a nap quilt with those colors in a pattern I made up and named Grape Arbor. He passed away recently and I didn't see the quilt around the house. It wouldn't surprise me if his wife tucked that quilt at his feet.

JudyF

I've experienced the pain of giving a quilt and finding out that it was just not their style. I personally don't like "politically-correct" responses because I can often sense an underlying disappointment, and the lack of honesty can sting just as much as if they had been more truthful. I'm thinking of creative ways of finding out ahead of time what the recipient might like, and I might even give a "coupon" with a selection of patterns and colors.

If I were the recipient, however, I'm not sure how I would respond because I realize that others don't really appreciate blatant honesty. I guess there's somewhat of a double standard here.

I'm new here, and haven't posted before, but thought I would just jump in....

qwkslver

Maybe you could finish it and put it away with love, knowing she made it for you. If it isn't your taste you can still get it out some time and see the hard word she did for you.

bigsister63

And you name is "URGODSCHILD2"? Accept the gift as it was given in love and kindness. How nasty to tell someone that you do not like or want the gift due to wrong color, style size. This includes quilts, clothes and any other gift. You could always give the gift to a needy person who would not care if the quilt was not their colors. Then you could explain to you friend(?) why you no longer have the quilt and make you self look very uppity and probably hurt you friends feelings in the process. Moral to this story is to find out likes and dislikes of person you are making quilt/giftss for so as not to put youself into this situation. You can do this discreetly or by observing their home and decor.

Havplenty

i am glad you both grew out of those emotions also. on the other side of maturity one realizes just how much of a waste of time/effort/money our selfish behaviors were and that it is too late to make up for the ill spent time.

TanyaL

My point with this self confession is that I think some or many of the gifts of ugly quilts to people who don't appreciate them are gifts of this sort. The quilter knows in advance the color or pattern will not be to the person's liking, or that the person does not own homemade items by preference. Perhaps there is spite intended, and perhaps the quilter honestly thinks although the person has never shown any interest in a particular color or in having a homemade quilt just the fact that one comes as a gift will change their interest in having one. As so many have testified, it just doesn't always happen like that.

Havplenty

wow i would hope not many are spending the time, effort, skill and money to make a quilt gift just to spite someone else. i dont believe my ugly quilt was done out of spite but was just at the skill level of of the person who made it for me. she certainly was not at the income level that i was at so i believe she used what materials she had available including all of the material i sent.

i believe in some of the comments, the givers have expectations that the receivers are going to love the gift and feel as we did giving it. as we can see that doesnt happen. when i started handing out quilts to my family i had to let go of my expectations of what i wanted them to feel about the gifts. some members expressed gratitude and are using theirs. i do know about the others and what they are doing with them.

but i still have about 23 more family quilts to make and i will give them with no expectations of use. i let my family know up front that these quilts were being made from stash fabric of my clothes sewing days so colors, patterns, etc. were not being taken into account. the only family i did ask were the young'uns (teen-20 somethings) because they can be so discriminating. my leanings as a quilter is toward modern and my design training played a big part in what patterns my family got. they were all designed by me, my own patterns and color play with adornments and embellishments. each is unique.

the only time in my life that i felt i could have given a telling gift outta spite was to my in-laws, at least some of them. they did the same to me often & for years and my former husband never said a word until i started returning those spiteful gifts or just leaving them behind when i was at their home. he finally went to his family and asked why. after that they started giving me "better" gifts but by then it was too late. i never reciprocated the spiteful gift giving because of my children. i can't imagine what kinda impression i woulda left them with if i had done so.

patdesign

Yes I suppose you are correct, that is why I think I like the freedom of traditional patterns and my personal selection of fabrics, I do not care for kits and you are right there are some quilts like the paint by numbers. I had forgotten that in the day some people really thought paint by numbers pieces were really art! Guess that just shows the range of sophistication some approach art with!!!!

dlong

Hmmm, I think if some of the blobs of paint on a canvas can be called modern art, then anything, including a quilt that looks like a paint by the number, could also be called art. (at least in my opinion)

ktmo815

Like many on this thread, I have never been given a handmade quilt - My mother made them for all my brothers & sisters but not for me. She also made them for all but 2 of her grandchildren but not for my youngest child (my one niece was the other non-recipient) - Mom stated she "had made them for all her kids & grand-kids & was done now" - when I reminded her about the 2 grandchildren who hadn't gotten them - her reply was "oh well!"
I would have loved to have even gotten an ugly quilt from her. I learned to quilt myself to make one for my son & have since made them for my 3 daughters & 3 grandchildren.