nccatbird

I feel for your son, when my MIL was living she could come up with some doozies! We always laughed it off, it part of who she was and we miss her and loved her very much.
Regarding the not my style quilts~ she made my daughters a couple but they were from someone we loved and she always said "every stitch was a stitch of love". You can always find a use for them, let the dog or cat use them to sleep on, take to the beach or use in the back yard to have a picnic w/kids or gkids. Remembering how they were once made from scraps of feed bags and worn out clothes makes for good memories.

Havplenty

my ugly quilt story. i use to make and sell clothing for years and i had an extensive fabric collection with some very expensive fabrics. one of my former husband's cousins quilted and asked if she could have some of my fabric scraps to make us a quilt. i dug through my stuff and gave her some fabrics of clothes i had made for my family to make a true memory quilt. well when we got the quilt back, i did everything in my power not to let my inner feelings show on my face. the quilt was....... ok it was horrendous.

it was suppose to be a crazy quilt pattern of some sort but she added some really funky fabrics such as polyesters, old cut up clothing and a red poly backing so loud & bright that it could light the sky up at night. there was this blue poly mix fabric she used as filler fabric and i could see clear through the quilt to that red backing so i am not sure what was used for batting. the stitching was horrible, the seams were uh horrible, the quilt was crooked and didnt lay flat and there were my pretty pretty fabrics all caught up in this twisted mess.

well i accepted the quilt and said thank you very much we never used it. it went in a box and in my basement. of course my former husband was happily gifted this quilt from me during our divorce proceedings.

the quilts i had first starting making for my family from the fabrics that remained from my sewing days (to give them a piece of myself) i just made up and brought them to our annual christmas holiday celebration and let everyone pick what they wanted. this is when i first started quilting. i have since started asking color preferences especially for my teen-20 something nieces and nephews, plus college bound friends children what they like colorwise because i want them to enjoy and hopefully use the gift i am giving them. as the gifters i can see where we would want our gifts of love to be just that, loved by the recepients but it will not always happen. the colors could be wrong or the pattern wrong.

my mother was in the process of crocheting afghans for her five children. i got mine first, not in colors i would have chosen but colors my mother chose for me. she only finished mine and had completed the blocks for the second afghan. i told my siblings that i would make them afghans from my mothers threads and complete the one she started but didnt finish. they are not able to chose colors or patterns because i am not as prolific and skilled at crocheting as mother was and can only do what my skill level will allow and only from the yarns that remain of her stash. i love the afghan my mother made me whether the colors are my choice or not and will never get rid of it.

DonnaC

This has been such an interesting thread! It brings to mind that old expression, "I laughed.... I cried.....!"

I often give handmade gifts (quilted, crocheted, knitted) but have never given anyone a full-sized quilt. Mostly because I don't think my younger family members would be interested (in fact, I know they wouldn't), and my older family members are trying to clean out and get rid of "stuff" so I don't want to stress them out by giving some large item they might not want (and might have to figure out what to do with).

I like to give really practical gifts - this year, it was handknitted cowls for the younger folks, and quilted tissue holders for the oldies.

If anyone gave me a handmade gift, I'd be thrilled...but I don't really know anyone who can match my level of crafty-ness, so that's probably not going to happen!

When I want to give a quilt, I give to a charity like Quilts for Kids. It satisfies my need for giving, and it goes to a good home. That makes me happy.

justflyingin

I don't believe in the white lie in order to maintain peace, but I do think you can find other things to appreciate, as you so well pointed out.

My kids just asked me "MOM, how do we write a thank you for something I am not ever going to use nor don't need (to granny and papa)?" I said, well, you can say how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness, etc! You don't actually have to say "I love your gift and will use it daily!".

That saying, I think that I could say gratefully to someone "Thanks for the quilt" and mean it. If it were truly ugly, I'd find a new home for it, simply because I have so many of my own that I really don't need one hanging around that I don't like. But I believe I could be sincerely touched by someone giving something--even if it were awfully ugly.

TanyaL

Here's another side of the coin- has anyone ever made a quilt (probably a lap size) in a color or pattern in order to show someone what you think they SHOULD like, because you think they usually have such horrible taste? Or because they asked for a quilt and you really didn't want to make them one - like a MIL or other in law you don't like- so you made one that is was all bright, gay colors when you know they usually only wear soft, subdued tones? A gift that you could say "I made you a handmade gift" but it was also sort of "in your face!". The equivalent of buying a size 6 SIL a bright purple size 12 sweatshirt and telling her "This just seemed so you!"

I have to admit that when I was younger I bought my SIL several lovely gifts , not handmade, but ones that I knew she wouldn't appreciate. I think one was a silver serving piece and her dinner ware was thick pottery. I also bought her a non-fiction best seller and I doubt if she had read a book in her life. Our gifts to each other were like weapons not gifts. Fortunately we grew out of that, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has done something like that. I just never did it with anything handmade.

KimS

Even if I absolutely hated the fabric and/or pattern I'd still love it. I'm just the type of person that when anyone gives me something handmade it means they've taken the time to think of me and that's what it's all about. Knowing you walked across someone's mind is a wonderful thing.

ewecansew

I have a quilt shop and when people come in to buy fabric to make a quilt for a gift (and usually they want to make something huge ), I encourage them to find out the colors the people would like and also scale down the size---lap size or throw. Don't make something in the wedding colors, that is probably not the colours they will use in their home. And make it because you want to and not have to. Personally, I make table runners and if they are not the right thing, it is not a huge investment in time and money.

alderdweller

Honestly....I've never seen an ugly quilt!

Havplenty

well i wish i had a picture to show you of the quilt i received way back when. but then again i would have to think twice about showing it you least you may start having quilting nightmares.

yes beauty is said to be in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes there is just down right ugly.

TanyaL

Amen! There's also down right trite!