Husband punishment
#71
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: East Oklahoma - pining for Massachusetts
Posts: 10,477
I am very lucky in that my Jim encourages me to get any fabric I want. When it is Christmastime, he asks do I need any more pins, or cutter blades etc. Two years ago, I needed a new machine. I thought it would take 3 months for me to save the $199.00 needed. He bought it for me the next week. He is always telling me how talented I am, and how pretty my quilts are. (And on top of all that, he cooks the Thanksgiving dinner.)
#72
I've read through the replies to your comment, sorry your in that boat alone. Wonder what his hobbies are? Could you encourage him to take up something that really interests him? My hubby likes to help pick out fabric and like so many others he would spend more that I would.
#73
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
I've never felt the need to punish my husband, (nor does the other way around happens). He's not much into fabric so most of the time I go there alone. But he loves craft stores as he does oil painting and we do a lot of crafts together. He also knits hats for the homeless and when we aren't given 'leftovers' he has to buy his own when skeins are on sale. Neither of us are over spenders and rarely go on a binge for anything. I buy what I want, he does the same. It seems to have worked, we've been married over 50 years.
#74
Oh my ... memories! Years ago my DH didn't understand my passion for sewing ... whether it be clothing, drapes, quilts, etc. I figured that I was sewing long before I even married him and I wasn't about to stop. Time has changed all of that... after 45 years of marriage and his growing appreciation of what I do, he doesn't balk when I come home with fabric or sewing tools. He is disabled and I am semi retired. He actually watches me make my quilts from start to finish and is excited to see the finished project. He keeps telling me that he didn't realize all that was involved in making a quilt. He's so sweet. For my birthday he gave me a gift certificate to the local quilt shop! Just love that man of mine!
#75
The last time my hubby went into a fabric store with me, he pointed to a display on the wall and said "hey, you need to make that for us." I gasped and said, " oh my !" After some words of encouragement, I bought the book and the special tool. Nearly two years laters, it was done and is hanging in our bedroom. I call it "my masterpiece". It is the quilt I am using for my profile picture. And he rarely gets to go into fancy fabric stores anymore.
#77
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: My Sewing Room
Posts: 1,180
Hee, hee. My DH went with me to take my embroidery machine in for repair (3rd time this year!) and while we were waiting, he began looking at other machines. After much discussion, we walked out with a new machine! I think I'll keep him!
#78
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: northern California
Posts: 1,098
12 years ago, after retirement, I began quilting. DH didn't say much, but then I started a water color quilt for one of our daughters and kept running into visual problems (dull areas, blends of color that just weren't right, etc.) and I started asking him for help. At first he panicked and denied he could help, but at my insistence (my distress got to him) he stood next to me upstairs and looked down on the quilt and suddenly he said "The upper right hand corner is dull, the rest of the quilt is so vibrant!" I almost fainted. And the doc says he is color blind in several colors! We've both come a long ways since then but I still need help. I'll leave my sewing room and say to him "consultation" and he gets up w/o any hesitation and look at my "problem" and we discuss it. Sometimes that helps me see what to do, but often it is DH that comes up with the solution.
When we both worked I did the cooking and most of the housework. We livedin the country and he did most of the heavy outdoors stuff and I did most of the indoors stuff. Now he does both those because I quilt (of course I help a little :>). I used to feel guilty, but he loves the fact that I quilt, that all the kids and gkids have quilts I have made for them (they are my best fans). Only in recent years have I begun to realize that I was NOT a good cook! Nutritious food, yes, yummy, no. And he loves to experiment with spices and mixing different things and has become a much better cook than I ever was! We live in an apartment now so his wood cutting days are over (he made that decision when he turned 75 and said "enough"!).
It is easy to wonder about other people's marriages. DH and I use the terms "please" and "excuse me" all the time. I complement him on the dinner he's cooked (unless I'm so tired my brain is dead), and he wanders into my quilt room and admires what I'm working on. More importantly for me he does the math when I have a cutting problem. Just yesterday he helped me figure out how to do a complex (for me) design. I don't use patterns, they cost too much and too often they just confuse me (I'm getting old!). At quilt stores he has gone from "I have no idea!" to "This fabric makes me think of Mary!" or "You don't have anything like this color." He's come a long ways! He promised me 50 years and we still have 10 to go. Think I'll keep him!
When we both worked I did the cooking and most of the housework. We livedin the country and he did most of the heavy outdoors stuff and I did most of the indoors stuff. Now he does both those because I quilt (of course I help a little :>). I used to feel guilty, but he loves the fact that I quilt, that all the kids and gkids have quilts I have made for them (they are my best fans). Only in recent years have I begun to realize that I was NOT a good cook! Nutritious food, yes, yummy, no. And he loves to experiment with spices and mixing different things and has become a much better cook than I ever was! We live in an apartment now so his wood cutting days are over (he made that decision when he turned 75 and said "enough"!).
It is easy to wonder about other people's marriages. DH and I use the terms "please" and "excuse me" all the time. I complement him on the dinner he's cooked (unless I'm so tired my brain is dead), and he wanders into my quilt room and admires what I'm working on. More importantly for me he does the math when I have a cutting problem. Just yesterday he helped me figure out how to do a complex (for me) design. I don't use patterns, they cost too much and too often they just confuse me (I'm getting old!). At quilt stores he has gone from "I have no idea!" to "This fabric makes me think of Mary!" or "You don't have anything like this color." He's come a long ways! He promised me 50 years and we still have 10 to go. Think I'll keep him!
#80
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sonoma County, CA
Posts: 4,299
Mine will come into the fabric store and participate in picking fabrics out if it's for something I'm making for someone on his side of the family. Otherwise I'm pretty much on my own, which suits me just fine, because I'm a "browser" and I like to take my time and let my imagination roam while I shop. He'll play along and be patient but I can tell it's an effort, so why put him through it?
We have separate hobbies and separate finances, and even separate "studios" in the house (his is a music studio), so there's no guilt or hiding when we buy stuff for ourselves.
My mom never worked, and would basically "embezzle" family funds for her own hobbies, and really DID sneak around and spend money and hide purchases from my dad, to the detriment of the family. (To the point where we had to borrow from relatives to make rent several times a year.) I swore I would NEVER do the same, not to any degree, no matter what my circumstances were. Happily, both me and my spouse have a strong work ethic and good jobs so it's not an issue with us, at all. (And we don't have kids, so that makes it much easier for us to spoil ourselves.)
That's not to say I don't "punish" him when he IS being a Mr. Smartypants... ;-) We tease each other often, it's just how we are. We've been together since high school so apparently it works for us!
We have separate hobbies and separate finances, and even separate "studios" in the house (his is a music studio), so there's no guilt or hiding when we buy stuff for ourselves.
My mom never worked, and would basically "embezzle" family funds for her own hobbies, and really DID sneak around and spend money and hide purchases from my dad, to the detriment of the family. (To the point where we had to borrow from relatives to make rent several times a year.) I swore I would NEVER do the same, not to any degree, no matter what my circumstances were. Happily, both me and my spouse have a strong work ethic and good jobs so it's not an issue with us, at all. (And we don't have kids, so that makes it much easier for us to spoil ourselves.)
That's not to say I don't "punish" him when he IS being a Mr. Smartypants... ;-) We tease each other often, it's just how we are. We've been together since high school so apparently it works for us!
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