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Thread: Let go of my quilts

  1. #1
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    I wonder if anybody have the same problem as I have. I made two quilts for my grandsons. The one is 3 years and he received his quilt when he was two, and the little brother is now one and a half and I am finished with his quilt. BUT... I visited them a few months ago, we live in South Africa and they in Australia and what did I see. Mommy never told them to care for this quilt because she doesn't know anything about quilting and how many hours go into a quilt. Little boy is playing outside picnic on his (MY :evil: ) quilt. I can't say anything (I am the mother-in-law) but I am observing :shock: !
    Do you also have that problem? I expect them to caress the quilt, not mess it! :roll: Anyway, I will keep on making, there is a third grandson!! :thumbup: And I love this hobby! :lol:

  2. #2
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I am sorry that they hurt your feelings :(
    Maybe the rest of the quilts could be what we call utility quilts. Ones that we do not spend so much time or money on, that we expect to be used, drug around and are well loved on :D This way the little ones always have a quilt made by Grama around and they can be replaced as the child grows. :D:D:D

  3. #3
    Super Member thequilteddove's Avatar
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    Oh Rina, I feel your pain! Because of just this, I made really quick, easy, fun quilts for my grand daughter out of Joann fabris (on sale). It's better for them to use & love it to death than for it to sit in a closet for the moths to eat.

    As upsetting as it may be, you know he truely loves it if he's take'n it everywhere & do'n everything with it!

  4. #4
    Super Member ghostrider's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you are hurt by their actions, but the most important part of "gift giving" is the giving part. When you gave the quilt, it became someone else's, to do with as they wish. The child obviously loves the quilt to play picnic on it outside, be grateful for that and enjoy being with him. Living that far away, you will miss many things in his life, treasure what you share.

  5. #5
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Another thought.... Your grandson is creating many memories with his quilt from Grama.... He will remember the picnics with it...or making a tent with it over a table or chair... all of the other things that kids do. And in the center of all of these memories is Grama's Quilt!!! :D:D:D

  6. #6
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    That is a positive and a grama's way of thinking! How nice to be thought of that way.!!

  7. #7
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    Sigh!! I know, I know!! LET GO ! Thanks for lifting my spirit, you are all dear friends, although we doesn't know each other, or do we? Love you all and have a Blessed Christmas and remember the reason for the season. Mwha!

  8. #8
    thismomquilts's Avatar
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    Maybe he loves it so much he wants it to be with him and help him make memories - I love it when my children take their quilts and play with them... I did not use LQS fabrics just for that reason - one son already needs a new one - granted they have not chosen to take them outside for a picnic, but I wouldn't mind a picnic on them - now climbing in a tree with them (they used to climb trees alot!) would be another story, but a picnic - I'd feel honored that they wanted to use the quilts. Our dd takes hers wherever she goes - to school, to the mission field... now to her new home... I am thrilled when the quilts I make are used.

  9. #9
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    When I first started quilting I made all 4 grandkids a quilt.
    My one daughter let her 2 kids drag the quilts around all over. They took them in the car, outside to play with them and even bought them to Florida twice.
    The second time they came I spent quite a while repairing the quilts. They were tied and not sturdy enough for these kids.

    My other daughter's two girls got a quilt also. I have never seen them use it. I don't even know where they are keeping it.

    Guess which kids will get another quilt from Grandma?

    The ones that loved them and used them to death!



    :-D

  10. #10
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    The same thing happened to my MIL when my SIL let her boys ruin the quilts she had made them. It hurt her feelings too so she never made them anymore. They even got paint on one.
    I have every quilt my MIL made us and they are all in great shape. She was amazed when I told her this.

  11. #11
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I am and always will be a firm believer in making a utility lap quilt for someone first....see if they use it and how they use it. Then you can decide whether or not to put more time and effort into a larger or more elaborate one. I want mine to be used, loved, used and loved :D:D:D I can always make more!!! :D:D:D

  12. #12
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    Don't feel bad, at least he's enjoying playing with it. mine got sold on Ebay!

  13. #13
    Super Member jljack's Avatar
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    I have small grandchildren, also, and what I do is give them a pretty basic quilt for baby/toddler use (when it'll get lots of washings), then when they get older (8-9 years) give them a more elaborate quilt, and then when older (16??) a keepsake quilt.

  14. #14
    Super Member quiltsRfun's Avatar
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    mine got sold on Ebay!
    Unbelievable! Hope they got a good price for it.

  15. #15
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nativetexan
    Don't feel bad, at least he's enjoying playing with it. mine got sold on Ebay!
    How awful. I am sure that hurt over and over.

  16. #16
    Super Member jljack's Avatar
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    My goodness!! Sold on eBay? That was rude!!

  17. #17
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
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    I don't live near family, so when I give them a quilt, I can only guess what they do with it. I have given it away, it is no oonger mine. I would be distressed if they would sell it, though.

  18. #18
    Super Member cabbagepatchkid's Avatar
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    My first grandchild LOVED looking at pictures on greeting cards so I really enjoyed making her an I Spy quilt, thinking that she would love the little pictures all over the quilt. I gave it to her when she was around 3 yrs old.

    After a year or so I noticed that she never used the quilt so I asked her mother (my DIL) where the quilt was. Well, it was folded up and kept in a closet, never seeing the light of day :-( . I asked her to please take it out so that Cori could use it. I wanted her to play with it and love it to death. I have quilts that my grandmother made and, although I would never let the kids abuse them, I do make sure that we use them. It keeps her memory alive.

  19. #19
    Bottle Blonde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nativetexan
    Don't feel bad, at least he's enjoying playing with it. mine got sold on Ebay!
    I gave one that was raffled off for $ to pay for a vacation - then she had the nerve to suggest I make more, she would organize the raffle and split the cash with me .....another was stolen from my niece and entered in a local competition with someone else taking credit for my work....another was given to a friend's daughter at a baby shower, 3 weeks later she re-gifted it to another expectant mother at a different shower - after thanking me and telling me it was the most special item she had received. ?

    When we make quilts and give them to people we love, we are giving away a very important part of ourselves. Our vision, our creativity, our talent, our experience, our devotion to the art, and sometimes our blood, sweat and tears go into our quilts. We tend to take it very personally when our work is not respected. I do the same thing many other board members do....I make utility quilts to give as gifts. They are still very nice - and my family loves to get them. The larger/harder quilts I have made stay at my house. I intend for family members to get them eventually...just not yet. I am still upset over some of the disrespectful things that have been done to me in the past.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by jljack
    I have small grandchildren, also, and what I do is give them a pretty basic quilt for baby/toddler use (when it'll get lots of washings), then when they get older (8-9 years) give them a more elaborate quilt, and then when older (16??) a keepsake quilt.
    That's a great idea! At this point, I only know how to make simple quilts, but it still bothered me to see "my" quilt tossed into an old one cycle washer after a week! As Bottle Blonde says, they are a part of ourselves.

  21. #21
    Super Member Marcia's Avatar
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    I have made quilts for each of my granddaughters with explicit instructions to my daughters that these quilts were to BE USED!!!! I did not put all this time and energy into them for them to be put on a shelf and kept new. I wanted them to be drug around and curled up under. I made them to be loved. Last week the three oldest (who are sisters) were all home from school sick with a virus and when I stopped in to see them, they were all cuddled up under the quilts that I made them. They are a comfort to them when they do not feel good---these quilts have been thrown up on, drug through the dirt, had picnics on, been washed over and over again. Most of all, they are loved----and I would have it no other way.

    Be happy, Rina, that your quilts are loved too!!!

  22. #22
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    I heard thru the grapevine, that my cousin was selling my Aunt's quilt (her mom and grandmother made)at a flea market. Both are passed away, I couldn't believe it, hand stitched too! I ran so fast and bought them! She was a special Aunt to me and I adore them because she made them. All old fashioned and robust colors, that wouldn't have been my choice today, I knew my Aunt made them to use (which no one did). At my house, I have them out and when someone gets cold they grab those! Ok, I did cringe at first but then I remembered my Aunt saying they need to be used. Gives me a warm and good feeling to have them needed. I guess that little grandchild needs that quilt too!

  23. #23
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    I feel bad that you are sad. I made and make quilts for all the grands and great grands and they are used and used. They have been dragged around for years. One is 21 years old and I've done so many repairs to the baby quilt and she won't let it go. She did ask me to make her another baby quilt, she uses it over her pillow, and just loves them. It is the older people that I give quilts to and then see a double wedding ring or one like it spread on the grass when we have a picnic. If I knew what they were going to use it for I would have made a simple one. What I really like! is the person that says can you make me one like that and I'll give you $100!

  24. #24
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    why on earth would you make a quilt for a child and not want and expect it to be used, "abused", and generally loved to pieces? :hunf:

  25. #25
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    My husband and I made a quilt for our grandson before we even knew about rotary cutters. We cut each of 200+ squares and sewed them together to make a santa design. We loved spending the time together doing it. Well long story short our grandson never got to have a picnic on it or play with it. It got lost somewhere in a move between here and spain.
    Be happy making your quilts and be happy seeing the person receiving it enjoying it.

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