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I have a similar set up but in my home. I understand where you are coming from. I have people just looking every where in my home, grabbbing food and using stuff. I have set some parameters. When they bicker with each other it is too hard. We had one person who was just not happy and wanted people to cater to her. Fortunately she moved out of state. Maybe you can say that you would love to have it again but maybe the group can meet some where else. Also it sounds like in your case it might be better to have everyone work on their own project. So yes, do not give up on your friends but try and make some changes to help bring back the joy. I have thought about quiting but I have a large fmaily and this works for me. I now sit and sew atleast one evening a week. As a group we have gone through a lot. All of us lost our mothers in the time our group has been going and some other issues including medical. None of us are perfect and instead of getting new friends maybe some parameters need to be set. It does seem like your friends are having way to good a time because they are being catered too and are getting freebies. I have some of that going on but then I am enabling them too I guess. KWIM? Hugs, Anna

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Originally Posted by #1piecemaker

For several years a group of us ladies got together every week and spent most of the day sitting around quilting, visiting, helping each other and having lunch together. We had a lot of fun doing this. And then it started going sour. We started out piecing our quilts by hand and quilting in hoops, each working on their own things. Then we set up a frame. We took turns quilting on quilts for each other. Some of the ladies would just show up to quilt when theirs was in the frame, then they started bickering about the correct way to do it. They would forget who was supposed to provide lunch that day. One of the ladies showed up drunk and fell off her chair and we had to call an ambulance. All of the meetings took place in my home so I had all the mess to worry with each week. I never got any work done on my own stuff because I was always helping someone else. I didn't mind that at all. I enjoy helping someoneelse. But, with all the desention, it got to where i was dreading quilting day. So, I called it off until further notice. Now, they are all wanting to start the group back up. I have serious reservations. But, these are some good friends and I do enjoy them. Just not all the hastles. What do you think? Should I get the club started back again???

In the beginning, it was just three of us. then there was four and then five and so on.I am the one with the largest house and I have to admit it was convienient for me because I don't have to get up early, get dressed, leave the house and get out in the rain, or heat.
On the other hand, one of the girls sewed on my machine and flat messed it up and it hasn't worked right since. And then there was the drunk. One of the other ladies invited her and I smelt booze on her the first day. But, she was soooo happy to be there. But, the day she fell out of the chair and hit her hip on the couch and couldn't get up. I was afraid of a lawsuit for sure. Also, right before that happened, she asked me if I had some extra backing and batting she could buy from me so she could put her quilt in the frames when we finished the one that was in there. So I got her some. She said she would pay me later. A couple of months later, she needed some more. I asked her if she wanted to pay for the other one she got that day and she denied ever getting any from me. So..... I didn't argue. I just chalked it up as lost.There was so many issues that I thought,"Why am I putting myself through this?" And, you know what? I think I have just answered my own question.

I think setting ground rules would be beneficial. I have friends come over for craft night. They come over here since I have a big house, a big living room, and a big screen tv for watching Charmed/Gilmore Girls/Buffy. I really don't mind being the host, since I find it easier to do the cleaning than going to someone else's house (I'm strange). We set it up that I make the main dish, and then assign each of them a side/dessert/wine. They all bring their own projects and we talk, quilt, and hang out. After a few hours they go away. I absolutely love it and look forward to it. We had a new member (bf of the one of the crafters) who just turned 21 and as such, IMO, has a drinking issue. I talked to my friend about it and said I don't mind if he drinks, I'd just prefer less. And it was no big deal, not an issue again.

I think in your case, I would suggest going back to doing your own projects. Frame seemed to not work with this dynamic. Everyone brings their own thing. Maybe limit it to a few hours so it's less taxing on everyone. And try dividing up the food, so everyone brings a little something. Also, you might want to limit the people. 3-5 works best for us, above 7 makes me start to cringe.

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Originally Posted by #1piecemaker

I wouldn't let anyone use my machine, period. I made a quilting friend (wife of my first boyfriend) and I told her "I don't share well". We joked, we're great friends, but I made sure she knew I wasn't going to share my fabric or machine or whatnot, and she understood. And that's just how I am, and I think if you're up front about things like that (stay in the living room, don't touch my machine, BYOS (bring your own stuff), etc, it sets the expectations and establishes your boundaries.

It sounded like it was better when everyone did their tops by hand. And each quilted their own quilts in a hoop.

Instead of one person doing the lunch each time. Everyone should bring a dish or something. Whatever is agreed apon. That way if anyone is sick or can't make it, the rest will still have lunch.

And members could rotate meeting places. Or find one place you all can meet all the time, but not at a members home.

You've received lots of good advice. Maybe put your own words on a card for all to see.

quote " The whole idea was to have time with friends soing something we all enjoy, sharing ideas and patterns, books and new ways of doing things and having fun together."

Rotate locations , with a different host each time you get together.

What we do is meet at the fire-hall once a week. We rotate a snack and drinks. Once a year has past, we all make a donation to the fire dept. No problems.

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Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts

From your description it sounds like some rules need to be set down.
Problem 1: Some people only showed up when their quilt was in the frame.
Problem 2: One person showed up drunk (not a good sign at lunchtime!)
Problem 3: Not rotating homes.
Problem 4: You didn't get to work on anything for you.
Problem 5: People forgetting who's supposed to bring lunch.

Unless these issues can be resolved I would either find another group or not start it up again!!!

I think that sums it up. You ended the group for a reason, and unless those reasons are addressed then nothing will change and you will just be frustrated.

Yes, I would set the rules and rotate the meeting place.