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Thread: went to first guild meeting, felt like an intruder - what would you do?

  1. #26
    Super Member peaceandjoy's Avatar
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    Forgot to mention - earlier today, I was trying (without success :( ) a somewhat local offering of a Bonnie Hunter trunkshow/workshop. In clicking the links to where she will be, there was one that had something goose-related in the guild name. On their website, they had a tab labeled "goslings." It was about an upcoming meeting specifically for newer members to mingle with long-time members. Thought that was a great idea!

  2. #27
    Super Member Scissor Queen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katsewnsew
    I felt the same way at my LQS monthly meeting. I went twice and to me, 2 times of being snubbed was 1 too many.
    I find NO excuse for anybody to shun someone just because they are new. THEIR LOSS!!!
    I would bet dollars to donuts you weren't actually "snubbed." I'll bet they just don't know you and meeting somebody twice for an hour or two is not anywhere near enough opportunity to get to know somebody or be friends with them.

    It takes TIME to get to know people and it takes TIME for them to get to know you. An hour or two once a month is not anywhere near enough time to get to know somebody or even remember their name for most people!!

  3. #28
    Super Member thequilteddove's Avatar
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    This is so common - keep going & keep being outgoing. Sooner or later they will warm up to you. When they go to fill positions, like secretary, charity quilt chairs, etc.), volunteer :)

    The more involved you get, the more enjoyable the experience. It just takes a little time :)

  4. #29
    Super Member Ps 150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    Charlee - what is a county extension agent? And, I have been behind in my doll making. My daughter moved back home the end of March with some issues and she is making great progress. My son graduated hs Friday - yay! - and the last few weeks have been busy. I do intend to start back up in the next few days and will post when I have some new faces. And thanks for that - a confidence boost for sure!

    I will check out the other guild but even so, I think my heart will be in doll making. I've been thinking of making a few easy dolls to see if they will generate enough interest for a class at Ben Franklin's. They will let you teach there and offer a 10% discount on products for the students taking those classes. I can also make doll quilts so my quilting skills won't be forgotten, but I prefer smaller scale items and they are not as costly.
    What type of dolls do you make? I've been given several patterns for doll clothes for my girls but they don't have any 18" dolls and I'm finding it hard to find them inexpensively for them. They just want dolls to play with, not to just sit on a shelf.

  5. #30
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    County Extension agents are employees of the county that you live in, most counties have them...they are usually in charge of the county fair, but they have a ton of other duties as well...they can tell you how to can and preserve produce, shear a sheep, milk a cow, do needlework, anything really that has to do with country living.
    Check with your county government offices...they should be able to tell you if they have Extension agents...

    And.....I still want to see your dolls!! :lol:

  6. #31
    Super Member quiltinghere's Avatar
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    I joined the guild of over 100 this past fall. I lucked out sitting at a table with a welcoming group of ladies. I even thanked them for that at the holiday luncheon. The were touched.

    If the dues are something you can easily afford, I'd suggest joining, attend the meetings and 'check out THE QUILTERS'. Some people are chatty, some are quiet and shy, some are kind and friendly, and yes, some are just rude. *Watch and learn* who's who. (You can do this with any organization.)

    If someone is a commitee chairperson, step up and introduce yourself after the meeting and volunteer to help a little. They'll be so appreciative. You will get to know others when you help.

    If your friend has been a member for a while, maybe she can make a suggestion to the Board to remind members how they felt when joining a new group and to be welcoming to new members. Our Board members remind us!

    After all how is the organization going to grow and do more for the community if you don't get more members?

  7. #32
    Super Member mpspeedy's Avatar
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    I belong to two guilds. The first started out with about 6 people in a member's house. It has now grown to over 100. Over the years it has moved three different times to accomadate the growing membership. When I started I was a beginning quilter by modern standards. After 30 years I have seen and done just about everything quilt related. I have held various postions in both guilds and find volunteering to help with some project or task is the best way to get friends. Most recently I catered the guild's annual Christmas Party. I finally stopped complaining about the previous chairperson and put my money where my mouth was. It went very well but I won't do that again. I think I was able to break the hold that member had on the affair for at least 20 years. It was more than time for new blood and new ideas. Quilting like other things is constantly evolving. Both guilds have several semi-professional long armers that now finish at least 50% of the quilts produced by the members. All guilds have members at differnt stages in their quilting journey. As a new member you need to feel your way to the smaller group that reflects where you are in your quilting.
    Being a member of a guild gives you access to classes and lectures by professional quilt people that you might not be able to afford on your own.

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    My neighbor invited me to her quilt guild meeting last week and other than her and the lady sitting next to me, I felt like an intruder. I tried to talk to people but got short answers back and no one seemed to want to acknowledge that I was there.
    I would love to meet a group of people to get together with that enjoy needle arts but I feel put out by this group already. Am I not giving them a fair chance? Has anyone had anything similar happen?
    Go back and join. First of all you're in NE - not the talkee-immediately friendly bunch.
    Volunteer for something; if they have a retreat go to it. You get to spend time with individuals.
    I had the same experience at the first 2 guilds I joined, but hung in there and have over time made alot of good friends.

    The next guild I joined SooNipi Quilt Guild in Newport was a different experience. At the time I joined they had monthly home mtgs in addition to Guild mtgs, so you really could get to know people quickly.
    Geography is not my long suit - if Newport isn't too far. We meet the 3rd Thursday from 10 to 1. I'm sending you a PM.

  9. #34
    Super Member Charlee's Avatar
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    Here's a link for the NH county extension offices...

    http://extension.unh.edu/Counties/Counties.htm

  10. #35
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    Join a group that sews. I have found quilds to be unfriendly groups. Sewing and quilting is suppose to be fun not to be chore. Everone has different views on a pattern.

    Find another group, there are nice groups out there.

  11. #36
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    This board is my guild. Everyone here is soooooo awesome!! Even on our bad days! :)

  12. #37
    Power Poster Boston1954's Avatar
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    I have been places that I was made to feel that way. Not quilting groups but other stuff.

    I would say go as a guest with your friend just once more. If they still snub you, it is THEIR loss.

  13. #38
    shopella's Avatar
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    I was 13 my first ever guild meeting I compleated a top and my mom wanted me to come. they were having a quilt day and the ladys would not let me quilt insted I re threded needles for the older ladies who's sight was poor and helped with coffe and tea. I did impress alot of older ladies that I did not complain and did as I was asked but I did not find out about that untill some time later.I like smaller projects too if you want to impress others with your'e work than it is not the size that matters but the quantity and what you do with them...have you thought about making up a large amount of doll quilts and donating to a childrens hospital? or lap blankets for an elderly home. big qudos around Christmas of course you will need lots of photos to show the ladys.If you are looking for a groop that is more open try finding out there intrests and make a smaller version.. or you could bring a pie! I like the Idea of quilted table runners with every kind of pie quilted on it.who is not welcome with such a feast!(and a zero calorie treat too!)

  14. #39
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    I spent two years as a member of one of these unfriendly groups, and even tried to join the board. That went so badly that I quit before my year was up and have never gone back.

    The only plus to it was the vendors there, since there are no quilt shops I could sometimes pick up bits and pieces that I needed. There were also giveaways by some very generous people who got drapery samples. I liked seeing some of the members' quilts, but it wasn't worth the high cost of joining.

  15. #40
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisahughes0204
    I've been given several patterns for doll clothes for my girls but they don't have any 18" dolls and I'm finding it hard to find them inexpensively for them. They just want dolls to play with, not to just sit on a shelf.
    Target used to sell 18" dolls very similar in size to the American Girl dolls, but much less expensive.

  16. #41
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    ah, the heck with it all...if you enjoy your neighbor,be with her. I was in a guild for a year and felt the same way. The pieces that they produced were unbelievable. You learn from them and when your interest is low, being there kick starts your projects. Who says you have to have everyone welcome you. It certainly would be lovely but it does not happen. Be there because you want to be...ignore the snobs and enjoy the views and the knowledge gained.

  17. #42
    Gal
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    I do not have a guild or quilting group to join near me the closest is too far to drive for me comfortably. I would like to join one if it were possible but for now I come here, I have learned so much and have met some wonderful people, thank you all so much, this is the best!!!

    Gal

  18. #43
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    The odd thing is there were only ten people there and I would have thought there would be more comradery than side conversations.

    There is another one that has a larger number of members that I may check out as well.
    Check out this larger group, and also talk to you friend about your concerns with her group, too :D:D:D

  19. #44
    Super Member franie's Avatar
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    I have had that experience too in a larger town. I ended up mostly being with two smaller groups that met once a week--the business stuff gets OLD! When I moved here I joined a guild that encompasses a very large area but it is a small group from several small towns. We have an education committee in that group with one who thinks she runs it and she does not listen to anyone else. I wish she would get off and let someone else try something dif. And I sew every week with a group I call my bestest. We have a lot of fun and there are no quilt snobs. I say go where you are comfortable!

  20. #45
    Super Member Ps 150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prism99
    Quote Originally Posted by lisahughes0204
    I've been given several patterns for doll clothes for my girls but they don't have any 18" dolls and I'm finding it hard to find them inexpensively for them. They just want dolls to play with, not to just sit on a shelf.
    Target used to sell 18" dolls very similar in size to the American Girl dolls, but much less expensive.
    Thanks! Our nearest Target is 30 miles away so I never thought to check there but it's also right down the road from our pet shop so when I make my monthly visit to the pet shop I'll stop in there. Thanks again!

  21. #46
    Senior Member Leann's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ckcowl
    ask at your local quilt shops if there are any small groups getting together you may find the perfect for you group.

    Thanks for passing this on . . . something I had never considered.

  22. #47
    Super Member weezie's Avatar
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    Sounds like your instinct is telling you that that guild is not the one for you.

  23. #48
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    I'm president of my small guild and I started the visitor package. Each visitor is given a packet with all the guild info, a fat quarter, a charm square, one layer cake square, and a 2 1/2" strip. The greeter cuts these and packages them with info about what they are. We make sure it is the good LQS quality.
    I have noticed some of the long time members forget new people have no idea what is going on. I forget more then I should. The new members that speak up and jump right in are like they have been there for years after a few meetings.

  24. #49
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BellaBoo
    I'm president of my small guild and I started the visitor package. Each visitor is given a packet with all the guild info, a fat quarter, a charm square, one layer cake square, and a 2 1/2" strip. The greeter cuts these and packages them with info about what they are. We make sure it is the good LQS quality.
    I have noticed some of the long time members forget new people have no idea what is going on. I forget more then I should. The new members that speak up and jump right in are like they have been there for years after a few meetings.
    What a great idea!

  25. #50
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    Please check out different guilds. You will find some are more chatty than others. Also why not start your own sew day groups.

    Have fun!

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