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Thread: went to first guild meeting, felt like an intruder - what would you do?

  1. #51
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    that is great!

    Quote Originally Posted by knlsmith
    Quote Originally Posted by BellaBoo
    I'm president of my small guild and I started the visitor package. Each visitor is given a packet with all the guild info, a fat quarter, a charm square, one layer cake square, and a 2 1/2" strip. The greeter cuts these and packages them with info about what they are. We make sure it is the good LQS quality.
    I have noticed some of the long time members forget new people have no idea what is going on. I forget more then I should. The new members that speak up and jump right in are like they have been there for years after a few meetings.
    What a great idea!

  2. #52
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    also if you have quilt shops in your area, ask them if they have sew days where you take your project and sewing machine for a day and sew

    workshops etc.

    you will meet others, will take time!

    google quilt guilds in your area

  3. #53
    Super Member AnnaK's Avatar
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    Sounds like an awfully small guild. We have 8 in our mini-group but about 100 in our guild. I would give it another couple of times. It's hard to go to a social group like this for the first time. If this doesn't work for you maybe a larger group with lots of activities and different types of quilts would be better for you. Good luck!!

  4. #54
    Super Member Butterfli19's Avatar
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    Lisa - cloth dolls. A few are posted on here, if you search for "Amelia" and "Elizabeth" they may come up.

    Thanks for the info, Charlee! I will post them, don't worry!

  5. #55
    Super Member Butterfli19's Avatar
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    Thanks, everyone for the advice. I didn't expect balloons and bear hugs from them but a little acknowledgement would have been nice.

    I may check out the larger one as there is a chance they may sew things other than quilts.

  6. #56
    Senior Member EdieClay's Avatar
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    Life is too short to waste it on people who cannot even speak to you. Hold out for a group that makes you feel like this Board makes us feel ... instant new friends, kind, challenged, learning, important, new ideas, and welcomed.

  7. #57
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    This exact thing happened to me. I was invited to attend ...but then it was like ...what are you doing here... ( not in a good way) was the attitude.
    I never went again and to this day when someone asks me 'what guild to you belong to" ...like I'm not a "real" quilter because I don't belong ... I just tell them my own personal guild it meets every Monday .
    The level of discomfort I felt ....was not something I would ever want to repeat. I make it a rule not to go places I'm not wanted, everyone is happier that way.

  8. #58
    Super Member peaceandjoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltinghere

    After all how is the organization going to grow and do more for the community if you don't get more members?
    One local guild is quite large for a rural area, but is known for being unfriendly. Several of the members also belong to the one that I belong to and express that there are many things they don't like - but because they are large enough to attract "known" teachers, etc., they continue their membership. However, the majority of them are far past retirement age and I often wonder how they will continue when the bulk of their membership are no longer able to participate. Fact is, unless they become a friendlier group overall, they won't.

    Quote Originally Posted by BellaBoo
    I'm president of my small guild and I started the visitor package. Each visitor is given a packet with all the guild info, a fat quarter, a charm square, one layer cake square, and a 2 1/2" strip. The greeter cuts these and packages them with info about what they are. We make sure it is the good LQS quality.
    LOVE this idea!! :thumbup: Thank you for sharing. I'm going to suggest it to our guild! :-D

  9. #59
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    I belong to a private group that a gal started in her home. A small quilting group of maybe 10 of us. It is nice, but I really like doing my own thing too! We meet once a month and make charity quilts throughout the year. Maybe start your own group of doll makers or sewing group!

  10. #60
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    I belong to a private group that a gal started in her home. A small quilting group of maybe 10 of us. It is nice, but I really like doing my own thing too! We meet once a month and make charity quilts throughout the year. Maybe start your own group of doll makers or sewing group!

  11. #61
    Senior Member tweetee's Avatar
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    This is exactly why I have never joined a guild and never will. The people that have been there a few years think that they are the best, and dont like a new "Threat" in their territory. They look down on you as if you are a pauper because you are new to a guild. It is wrong, and un social to be doing such things to new comers, espeicially when it is supposed to be a social group!!
    I get together with my sewing friends (all 2 of them)once a month, and we have a blast, we dont need a guild to make us feel wanted and worthwhile, we have much more fun teaching each other new tricks and tips, and laughing at ourselves when we totally get it wrong.
    As far As I am concerned why would you want to be a part of such an unsocial social group? Find another that is more accepting of new comers, or start your own little group with your friends.

  12. #62
    Senior Member skothing's Avatar
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    i am so sorry for your experence. When I first went to my group I had the same feelings. No one taked to me and I had only made a couple of quilts. I was primarily a seamress. I will tell you why I stayed. I wanted to learn the craft of quilting. Guilds have speakers and teachers come in giving you a chance to improve your skill. Friendships developed after they learned I wasn't a threat. Seating in class with other members opened doors of over 10 years of new friendships.

  13. #63
    Super Member Ps 150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    Lisa - cloth dolls. A few are posted on here, if you search for "Amelia" and "Elizabeth" they may come up.

    Thanks for the info, Charlee! I will post them, don't worry!
    Oh, that's neat! I've made some cloth dolls for my girls. I went to an Amish community in Pennsylvania and came across this neat little book with patterns for a boy, a girl, a mother and a father and all the clothes. I'm still trying to modernize the clothes though, lol.

  14. #64
    Super Member sewingladydi's Avatar
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    I kind of have had the same experience. But I'm still going. I've started to volunteer to help the officers and make sure that at every meeting I initiate a conversation with one or two other members about their show & tell or something. Then when I see them at the next meeting they seem a little friendlier.

  15. #65
    Super Member fleurdelisquilts.com's Avatar
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    I am so not a shy person, but I had this experience. I got a little hurt and angry at first, then to do what I wanted others to do for me: welcome newcomers. I decided that it was worth staying to have the opportunities to learn and grow as a quilter. So, I really made changes: I suggested that we start a welcoming committee and volunteered to head it up. It was really easy, I made copies of the rules and a brief calendar of monthly events, put it all in small gift bags with cheap sewing gifts--needles, quilting pins, copies of free patterns, etc.--and stored them in my trunk. Each month, I give a gift bag to anyone who shows up for a meeting and decides to join the guild. When my stash of gift bags gets low, I make some more. I also make sure that I talk to every new member at every meeting. Naturally, all the new people get to know me right away and appreciate my kindness.

  16. #66
    Super Member lovequilts's Avatar
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    I know how you feel. I went to a local guild here and never felt welcome. 3 ladies chatted during the whole meeting and I couldn't hear. Then "they" were the "winners" of many awards that were given that night from a recent quilt show. I went to the next meeting and no one said anything to me. It was very obvious who the very "active, involved" members were and I felt so uncomfortable. Did we go to the same meeting????? I get more from this site. Thanks to you all out there on the Quilting Board. I have truly felt very welcome here. Such positive energy and support. Blessing to you all.

  17. #67
    Super Member annette1952's Avatar
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    I don't belong to a quilt guild but I have a few friends that have. Both of them had really bad experiences with the members being snobby & like in a clique. That went on for a long time & they both just decided to quit. I just figured it was their area but after reading this I guess it is everwhere. Obviously there are alot of good ones out there. You just have to check around & find them. Have fun!

  18. #68
    Senior Member skothing's Avatar
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    What a great idea! Gift bags for newcomers. I am going to suggest it to my local guild.

  19. #69
    Senior Member momymom's Avatar
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    I was taught to quilt by a small group of ladies who called themselves "The Tuesday Needlers" They were more of a club than a guild. They invited me and my then 4 year old son to join them. Several years later when I had twins, they were welcomed with open arms. I've never heard of a quilting group or guild welcoming small children since. Most of the ladies have since passed away, and the rest are elderly. I don't know if they still meet, but they were the best teachers I could have had.
    I have since moved, and tryed a guild here. I went to 2 of their sit and sew meetings. I was pretty much ignored. They were preparing for an upcoming show they were having. Several of the ladies were bickering like children over raffle tickets. After the second meeting, and more bickering I decided I wouldn't go back. Turns out this particular group had splintered into 2 groups because of the infighting.
    There is another guild I have heard of, but never visited. They have to many requirements for my taste. I don't have time for my quilting, and don't need the extra stress of being required to make a donation quilt for a guild as a requirement for membership. They to make "show" quilts and are intered and accepted into national shows every year. I don't make show quilts. So, I am a lone quilter by choice.

  20. #70
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Our guild welcomes children. During the summer most of us grandmothers have one or two to keep. We have never had a disruptive child, all have been on their best behavior. (I know what I tell mine before walking in the door!) and I think that makes all the difference having a guild like having children at the meetings.

  21. #71

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    I would not go again,certainly not to pay dues and then find out that this group isn't for you.Theres one for you somewhere

  22. #72
    Junior Member Pattil's Avatar
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    find another quilt meeting.....no one should be treated like that,their loss,think of all what they could have learned from you about "doll making"....they were very rude.

  23. #73
    Super Member mjsylvstr's Avatar
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    Our guild meets weekly and one season, for one week each month, upon entering, we were met at the door and given a table number.

    For that week's meeting, we had to sit at that given table and it was wonderful. We sat and conversed with other members rather than our regulars.

    It was a great way of meeting the other members and we soon realized that there were a lot of friends in the guild and lots of help available.

    MaryJane

  24. #74
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    A few years ago I was invited to attend an evening that was supposedly for potential new members. I am sorry to say that was a very disappointing event. The person who had invited me (a member for several years) wasn't able to attend at the last minute, which I should have taken for a sign to stay home. But since I have gone other places alone and ending up meeting new people and having a good time I went alone. But those people were some of the nastiest and rudest people I have encountered, I left after about 15 minutes when I wasn't even allowed to sit in any one of several empty chairs, amazing how they were all being saved!!

    I figure it's their loss, I have been quilting and sewing for several years, I have given advice freely and taught classes. It's not like I'm a newbie looking for free guidance instead of paying for a class. But those guild members will never have the benefit of my presence because they were so rude. NO WONDER THEY HAVE AN ANNUAL MEETING TO GET NEW MEMBERS!! If I belonged there I would drop out after seeing how they treat potential members. Also after their treatment I don't think I want to go to another guilds meeting.

    Thanks for letting me sound off.

    Longarm

  25. #75

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    I have never joined a guild bt have attended events that showcased their work. What exactly does one do at the meetings? One cannot quilt without a hoop or rack, so does one do hand piecing? Do you bring your sewing machine to work on tops? That is a mystery that I have no knowledge of. Would apprreciate some inside info. Thanks.

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