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Thread: What I figured out last Christmas...

  1. #176
    angieh1964's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May in Jersey
    Years ago before I began quilting I made all my nieces raggedy ann dolls and little aprons with pockets filled with dressed clothespin dolls. One sister in law thought I made them from leftover bits, scraps and junk. Had the last laugh a few years ago when her daughter told me my hand made gifts inspried her to enter the field of art and crafting as a career. She doesn't sew but gilds items, creates unigue items, writes How to articles, knits, arranges photo shoots, etc.
    May in Jersey
    i made christmas gifts for off and on for my inlaws usually something for house for couples and as the neices got older usually a wall hanging or something crafty well we always got the "polite" thanks from the one sis in law so was never really sure if they all liked the gifts or not when my father in law passed and my mil went in the nursing home we kinda lost touch with each other at holidays and when my oldest neice moved back into the state after she lost her husband she came to visit with me we had not seen each other in a few years she told me the thing she always misses most about christmas is aunt angies (moi) homemade gifts apparently she always looked forward to my gifts the most. this made me feel so wonderful and kinda makes up for the unappreciative folks and now this neice has found a nice young man to marry and was so surprised when told her i would help her with her wedding. got 2 years to plan this one unlike the last 3 which i planned in 3 weeks! this should be a breeze!

  2. #177
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    So glad your niece told you how important your gifts were to her, and, yes, it does make up for all the others who didn't appreciate your effort.

    Have fun planning her wedding, May in Jersey

  3. #178
    angieh1964's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May in Jersey
    So glad your niece told you how important your gifts were to her, and, yes, it does make up for all the others who didn't appreciate your effort.

    Have fun planning her wedding, May in Jersey
    should be fun she has picked navy and teal i think these will be stunning with gold i hope she does a fall or winter wedding

  4. #179
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    It's just heartbreaking when you think that the quilt you poured money, time and love into could end up in the dog basket or cupboard under the unused stuff. Up to now, every one of my quilts has been used and loved as I'd hoped, although one was in the questionable catagory for a while.

    My nephew asked for a quilt with wolves on it. Absolutely delighted, I agreed and searched for months for wolve fabric in the UK. Couldn't find any so ended up spending a fortune because of Customs to send for it from the States.
    Because it was for him, I didn't really mind. Well, I gave it to him and he loved it, and I know it was on his bed for months.
    Then he had a bedroom redecoration and his quilt vanished. I thought it had been put away, but when I dropped in on them for a suprise visit the morning he went on the school trip to France, it was already on top of his case and he was taking it with him.

    I also discovered as we waved my nephew off and the coach, that his friends and familys love his quilt too, as he takes it with him to sleep-overs and on camping trips and holidays.

    I didn't realise until that morning, and no one told me, that his quilt, "Call Of The Wild", (although not on his bed at home) has been all over Britian and Europe. And I am very content that his quilt is as loved now as when I gave it to him.

  5. #180
    Senior Member Mimito2's Avatar
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    Years ago (25) when my DS's were small DH nieces and nephews were the same ages I made them flannel quilts for Christmas. Parents acted like I was being cheap. The kids would not let anyone else in the house touch them! They carried them around with them everywhere they went. On one trip they happened upon a car accident, There were children involved and it was very cold and snowing. They gave the quilts to the kids to comfort them. They were afraid when they told me that I would be angry that they had given them away. I promptly replaced them with new ones. Kids got "it" parents never did and they never got anything I made.

  6. #181
    angieh1964's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimito2
    Years ago (25) when my DS's were small DH nieces and nephews were the same ages I made them flannel quilts for Christmas. Parents acted like I was being cheap. The kids would not let anyone else in the house touch them! They carried them around with them everywhere they went. On one trip they happened upon a car accident, There were children involved and it was very cold and snowing. They gave the quilts to the kids to comfort them. They were afraid when they told me that I would be angry that they had given them away. I promptly replaced them with new ones. Kids got "it" parents never did and they never got anything I made.
    scuse me while i wipe away the tears...this is the sweetest thing i have heard in a long time i just hope the babies who got their new quilts will cherish them as much as their first owners.

  7. #182
    community benefactor
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    I know what u mean also. I made a lap quilt for my best friends daughter, then a few years later i attended their garage sale and they had it out to sell. I took it back and now wonder what they did with all the other things ivew made and given them, embroidery, silk embroidery, paper tole and folk art that took me a long time to do. Ive also thought what other people have done with my handmade gifts and wonder if theyve got rid of them. I told all my family that if they ever want to move on what ive made them to give it back so i could pass it on to my own kids. That really hurt.

  8. #183
    Senior Member cizzors's Avatar
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    I made my MIL a Bow Tucks with bright sunflowers knowing she would never carry it. :)


    She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.

    So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.

  9. #184
    Member egagnon291's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cizzors
    I made my MIL a Bow Tucks with bright sunflowers knowing she would never carry it. :)


    She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.

    So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.
    Beautiful. Perhaps she never used it, but you can't measure the joy it must have brought her in her final days.

  10. #185
    ginnyk's Avatar
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    We've talked about this for quite a while. IMO, our motivation for giving a gift has to be for the joy we receive from the creation of that gift. We should be able to give our quilts, or anything else for that matter, without attachment. If we build our hopes on the expectation that someone else is going to make us feel good, give us love, appreciation and admiration, we are setting ourselves up for a letdown. The fact that they do appreciate our gifts, talent and labor is a bonus, just as love itself is.

    I have to ask, how would l like to be saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a gift that really did not fit my taste, nor decor. (Like a kitten) Knowing that I had to care for it for the rest of my life and then be sure that my children did also, could become a task. It would be easy to pack it carefully and put it on a shelf to protect it and leave it for future generations to care for. I would be concerned that if I displayed it and used it, that it could become worn and damaged and could thus offend the giver.

    On the other hand, not using it could also offend. As givers, we have expressed dismay with both of these outcomes. It seems to me that what we should take away from this very enlightening thread is that when we give something that is so much of ourselves, that we are very clear with our recipient and ourselves just what we expect from this exchange. Otherwise, a gift that was given in the best of intentions can result in hard feelings for many years to come. Our art is our joy and it would be a shame to let a misunderstanding spoil that. :)

  11. #186
    Senior Member Maybe1day's Avatar
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    I too have been following this thread with mixed feelings and I heartily agree with your observations ginnyk, I make quilts and all the other crafts I enjoy doing just for that, joy of creating. I also love to give gifts.

    I give the things I create away for many reasons though mainly because if I didn't then I would surely need a room or shed just to house them in for storage and because when I give a gift I like it to be more personal.

    I like to think they both like the gift and will use it so always tell them that if they like the gift then use it, that is what it was made for and if they find it no longer suits their tastes or they no longer have a use for it then pass it on because I would rather what ever I made be used then stored away. Once I have passed them on, I let them go.

    Yes the real joy for me is in the making and giving and what happens after that is of little concern, for myself I treasure everything and so will display it and use it because that is who I am. Isn't it wonderful that we are all so different?

    Maybe1day :)

  12. #187
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    I haven't read this whole thread, but I think I get the idea of why it started. We do work hard and put alot of love into our gifts. I like others have scaled back my list of recipients at Christmas. I have a few special friends and family that I will still give to. This year I am going to fill bow tucks totes with cookies, etc. Knowing that not all of my friends and family may like that type of bag, I am enclosing a note with each bag. My note will read something like this.....If this bag is not your cup of tea, please find a special woman in your life and share it with her. I know they all have a special aunt, neighbor, grandmother, or friend that they could share it with. I am not sure how it will go, but I will let you know. Good Luck with all your gifts....Laura

  13. #188
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    I'm making myself a fleece blanket this xmas!

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