When a person is "self-quilt-policing"
05-25-2017, 06:23 AM
#31
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 547
Originally Posted by Sewnoma
For me, quilting is a hobby. I have a job that involves a lot of stress and precision, I don't need that stress in my hobby. I also don't want other people to stress about it - I think (unless you're being paid) quilting should be done primarily for the fun of it.
So if you're the type that a flaw left over will stress you out - I'm assuming you're just going to fix it and not ask about it. If you're asking, I'm assuming you're somewhat like me and leaving it there is an option, and maybe you're even looking for permission to just leave it be. And for me...I fix some things and not others. Good enough is good enough and if it's good enough for me it's good enough for whoever I'm gifting the thing to. *I* will be aware of the flaw and try to do better next time, but I won't necessarily rip into a finished top to fix it.
"Nobody else will notice" is definitely something I've said over and over, and I say it because its TRUE. I know it's true because I grew up thinking both of my grandmothers were perfect quilters. It wasn't until I became a quilter myself and began examining their quilts with a critical eye did I discover that lo and behold...there are wonky seams and cut off points and 'cheater' bindings and all sorts of things going on in those quilts that I was completely oblivious to. I still love those quilts just as much (if not more) and if anything I'm ENCOURAGED to see that both of my grandmothers produced work with some flaws, because I know how well-loved and cherished all of their quilts are.
And if their flawed quilts are that awesome and that well-loved even after both of them have passed away...well then my never-perfect quilts are just as lovable too, and so are yours.
I guess the simple answer is - they ask, so I give my opinion, and my opinion is often to just move forward and keep it in mind for "next time". It's not heart surgery, nobody is going to croak if a point got lopped off here or there. If you're being paid that's something different IMO, but for your own quilting for your own pleasure or for gifts for loved ones...I think it's perfectly acceptable to give yourself a break and allow a little imperfection every now and then.
So if you're the type that a flaw left over will stress you out - I'm assuming you're just going to fix it and not ask about it. If you're asking, I'm assuming you're somewhat like me and leaving it there is an option, and maybe you're even looking for permission to just leave it be. And for me...I fix some things and not others. Good enough is good enough and if it's good enough for me it's good enough for whoever I'm gifting the thing to. *I* will be aware of the flaw and try to do better next time, but I won't necessarily rip into a finished top to fix it.
"Nobody else will notice" is definitely something I've said over and over, and I say it because its TRUE. I know it's true because I grew up thinking both of my grandmothers were perfect quilters. It wasn't until I became a quilter myself and began examining their quilts with a critical eye did I discover that lo and behold...there are wonky seams and cut off points and 'cheater' bindings and all sorts of things going on in those quilts that I was completely oblivious to. I still love those quilts just as much (if not more) and if anything I'm ENCOURAGED to see that both of my grandmothers produced work with some flaws, because I know how well-loved and cherished all of their quilts are.
And if their flawed quilts are that awesome and that well-loved even after both of them have passed away...well then my never-perfect quilts are just as lovable too, and so are yours.
I guess the simple answer is - they ask, so I give my opinion, and my opinion is often to just move forward and keep it in mind for "next time". It's not heart surgery, nobody is going to croak if a point got lopped off here or there. If you're being paid that's something different IMO, but for your own quilting for your own pleasure or for gifts for loved ones...I think it's perfectly acceptable to give yourself a break and allow a little imperfection every now and then.
Ditto! I have enough stress in my life without dragging it into my hobby.
05-25-2017, 07:12 AM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 2,821
I think what people honestly want to know if you see the mistake - if it jumps out at you. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. There was a post in the last few days where the quilter put two squares of the same color next to each other. I never did figure out where those two squares were. I didn't look really hard, but it did not jump out at me. Had I posted an opinion, I would have said leave it.
On my first quilt (D9P), I had a mistake. One of the squares was too small (not consistent enough seams), so I had to move it to the bottom corner where it wouldn't make every other square not match up. That put it next to a square that was the same color. I asked for other's opinions. (The question really was, "Is this noticeable enough that it's worth remaking the square, cutting it up, Mr. Seamripper, etc." and, "Will I always see this mistake when I look at this quilt?" ) Most everyone said it was not noticeable. I didn't fix it and am happy with the way it turned out. I had to look for that mistake after a few months. At the time, though, all I could see was those two yellow squares in close proximity.
Other people's perspective helps sometime. I assume they tell me the truth as they know it.
bkay
On my first quilt (D9P), I had a mistake. One of the squares was too small (not consistent enough seams), so I had to move it to the bottom corner where it wouldn't make every other square not match up. That put it next to a square that was the same color. I asked for other's opinions. (The question really was, "Is this noticeable enough that it's worth remaking the square, cutting it up, Mr. Seamripper, etc." and, "Will I always see this mistake when I look at this quilt?" ) Most everyone said it was not noticeable. I didn't fix it and am happy with the way it turned out. I had to look for that mistake after a few months. At the time, though, all I could see was those two yellow squares in close proximity.
Other people's perspective helps sometime. I assume they tell me the truth as they know it.
bkay
05-25-2017, 07:21 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,436
I personally like getting the advice if I ask for an opinion, say for example in border choices, but I find it really discouraging to read 4+ pages with "I don't like your options." Part of asking such a large group like the QB I guess When it last happened, I suddenly started doubting my eye for color and creativity; something I have NEVER done. I've made many quilts in the past where I never asked anyone's opinions, and I was always happy so I think I will go back to that.
Because of that, if I see someone asking for advice, I try to say something positive to encourage them, even if I'm not giving advice. Just my feelings on the whole advice thing.
When it last happened, I suddenly started doubting my eye for color and creativity; something I have NEVER done. I've made many quilts in the past where I never asked anyone's opinions, and I was always happy so I think I will go back to that.Because of that, if I see someone asking for advice, I try to say something positive to encourage them, even if I'm not giving advice. Just my feelings on the whole advice thing.
05-25-2017, 07:31 AM
#35
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: here
Posts: 722
Originally Posted by NZquilter
I personally like getting the advice if I ask for an opinion, say for example in border choices, but I find it really discouraging to read 4+ pages with "I don't like your options." Part of asking such a large group like the QB I guess When it last happened, I suddenly started doubting my eye for color and creativity; something I have NEVER done. I've made many quilts in the past where I never asked anyone's opinions, and I was always happy so I think I will go back to that.
Because of that, if I see someone asking for advice, I try to say something positive to encourage them, even if I'm not giving advice. Just my feelings on the whole advice thing.
When it last happened, I suddenly started doubting my eye for color and creativity; something I have NEVER done. I've made many quilts in the past where I never asked anyone's opinions, and I was always happy so I think I will go back to that.Because of that, if I see someone asking for advice, I try to say something positive to encourage them, even if I'm not giving advice. Just my feelings on the whole advice thing.
And this is why I would never consider asking for advice here. My tastes simply don't flow with the crowd. I LIKE doing my own thing.
05-25-2017, 07:52 AM
#36
Power Poster
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 26,007
How often do you take that final look at your quilt from the back of a galloping horse??? Why is that even said? 
It's kind of like saying, "I don't care how crappy your quilt turned out, so you shouldn't either".
When you ask for advice about a mistake you are already aware of, you are asking of people who have all different standards of what is acceptable and good. Theirs may not be the same as yours. If you see a mistake and can fix it, then why not fix it?
That being said, I recently didn't see a mistake (two pieces turned) in my Rest and Refreshing Civil War block until I posted it to the group. Then, in the photo, I saw it. At first I said I'd fix it... but then decided to leave it as a humility block. Sometimes we do need this to remind ourselves to remain humble! But even at that, it was my purpose and choice to leave it that way and not an oversight.
It's kind of like saying, "I don't care how crappy your quilt turned out, so you shouldn't either".When you ask for advice about a mistake you are already aware of, you are asking of people who have all different standards of what is acceptable and good. Theirs may not be the same as yours. If you see a mistake and can fix it, then why not fix it?
That being said, I recently didn't see a mistake (two pieces turned) in my Rest and Refreshing Civil War block until I posted it to the group. Then, in the photo, I saw it. At first I said I'd fix it... but then decided to leave it as a humility block. Sometimes we do need this to remind ourselves to remain humble! But even at that, it was my purpose and choice to leave it that way and not an oversight.
05-25-2017, 08:18 AM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,857
I think what we are saying is that if it bothers you, fix it. But to not overly stress on the small goofs. We are often hardest on ourselves and the person receiving the quilt is not only going to be thrilled that you have made them the quilt, but they are probably not even going to notice the 'design element'. Of course, if the item has been commissioned, then you apply a different standard or again, if it bothers you, then fix it. I think it is important for new quilters to realize that they will get better with every quilt they make and to learn from each one. This applies whether you started last week or have been quilting for years. I find that I am still learning quilt stuff and I have been quilting for 40+ years.
05-25-2017, 09:09 AM
#38
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 9,300
bearisgray said....
What I thought was interesting - and I have not counted the responses in the threads to get an accurate number - is that the majority of responders seem to say "leave it, it's okay, I don't see anything wrong" and a minority encourage "fixing/changing" it.
So - my question/observation actually is: Why are the ones that encourage "fixing/changing" in the minority?
-----------------------------
Being in the minority that you are addressing, I will speak for myself on WHY I usually advocate for "fixing/changing" since :
1) I know I feel so much better after fixing something that's bothering me.
2) It doesn't usually take as long as I anticipated or spent dreading that it would.
.....so I like to encourage others to feel good about their work after they've done their best. I know if I ask "does this need to be fixed?" I know in my gut I believe it does. I'm getting better about not asking others since I already know what I'll do about it. I'll fix it. I've never regretted fixing something, only ignoring it. And no, I am not a perfectionist, don't claim to be. I only strive for excellence and improvement.
But why do I sometimes hesitate to say "fix it":
1) I don't know the sensitivity level of the asker. Making art is so personal that if a person's work is "critiqued" , the person herself feel criticized. That is usually a feeling stemming from childhood, not from a few months or years of quilting. I'd hate to squash someone's love for quilting by making a remark that is meant to help, but backfires.
2) Because I really do not care at all for the quilt they've made (which is rare, but does happen).
I agree that it it's in everyone's best interest that the asker says, "Please do" or "please do not" point out a mistake before I quilt this thing. I mean, I would HOPE they'd want someone to at least SAY, "I see such and such in the upper right hand corner. Did you intend that?" before it's too late. If NO one pointed out what appears to be a mistake (usually in block placement) , I tend to think they just scrolled on by my picture and aren't interested enough to comment. But that's me. If I don't want feedback, I'll just post the photo.
What I thought was interesting - and I have not counted the responses in the threads to get an accurate number - is that the majority of responders seem to say "leave it, it's okay, I don't see anything wrong" and a minority encourage "fixing/changing" it.
So - my question/observation actually is: Why are the ones that encourage "fixing/changing" in the minority?
-----------------------------
Being in the minority that you are addressing, I will speak for myself on WHY I usually advocate for "fixing/changing" since :
1) I know I feel so much better after fixing something that's bothering me.
2) It doesn't usually take as long as I anticipated or spent dreading that it would.
.....so I like to encourage others to feel good about their work after they've done their best. I know if I ask "does this need to be fixed?" I know in my gut I believe it does. I'm getting better about not asking others since I already know what I'll do about it. I'll fix it. I've never regretted fixing something, only ignoring it. And no, I am not a perfectionist, don't claim to be. I only strive for excellence and improvement.
But why do I sometimes hesitate to say "fix it":
1) I don't know the sensitivity level of the asker. Making art is so personal that if a person's work is "critiqued" , the person herself feel criticized. That is usually a feeling stemming from childhood, not from a few months or years of quilting. I'd hate to squash someone's love for quilting by making a remark that is meant to help, but backfires.
2) Because I really do not care at all for the quilt they've made (which is rare, but does happen).
I agree that it it's in everyone's best interest that the asker says, "Please do" or "please do not" point out a mistake before I quilt this thing. I mean, I would HOPE they'd want someone to at least SAY, "I see such and such in the upper right hand corner. Did you intend that?" before it's too late. If NO one pointed out what appears to be a mistake (usually in block placement) , I tend to think they just scrolled on by my picture and aren't interested enough to comment. But that's me. If I don't want feedback, I'll just post the photo.
Last edited by zozee; 05-25-2017 at 09:11 AM.
05-25-2017, 09:38 AM
#39
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4,348
I put up a question once as to whether I had made a mistake in the colour I had chosen for the cornerstones on a quilt top and if I should change them. I was really torn, as it was a lot of work to change them and it looked OK. I received a lot of great feedback, some for, some against and ended up changing them all. Now that quilt hangs in my stairwell and I often look at it and am glad that I had that input and made the decision to change those cornerstones! I think everyone should be welcome to pose any question they want to on the board and every member welcome to answer or not, as they wish. Watson
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