SS hint.

You are posting . . .

Ya mean like right at this very moment? IT'S MEEEEEEEE!!!! :D

The first time I was involved in secret Santa I knew no one. I just went to their page, read a bunch of the posts and looked at pictures Of what they have done to get an idea of what they might like.

Do you:......
1) like buttons? I buy them when I need them, which isn't very often.
2) like zippers? Don't use a lot of zippers.
3) like wonder clips? Never used them, but I have a feeling I should get some and try them out.
4) drink coffee, and/or hot heat? iced tea? soft drinks? No coffee or tea for me. Just good ole regular Coke.
5) like Christmas themed items? Yes, but not crazy about angles.
6) like embroidery bookmarks? Yes
7) have any grand kids? One, will be 10 here in about a month.
8) put up a Christmas Tree? Yes, we get a live one from the tree farm that is next door to us.
9) like handmade (machine embroidery) ornaments? I love handmade ornaments
10) would you like a travel cup/mug? I do, but I think my husband will kill me if I get any more. They are taking over the cupboard.
11) how do you organize your fabric? I use plastic bins.

That rules me out, no "M" in my name.

My MIL had two peacocks in her yard, and what a racket they make. Better than a guard dog!

I learned to crochet using a book from the library written for kids. TBI just means we learn different than we used to. I am not saying you need a children's level book, just all the pictures they put in the kids book make it easier to figure out. Youtube has how to crochet videos also. Welcome to crochet, I believe in you.

I have tried over and over so many times
and brain just doesn't function it.
don't know what glitch is but it makes
me mad because I want to do it.
those buttons are just so cute.
yes we do learn differently;
most of the time :)

One thing I did, was to ignore the written directions at first, and just look at the pictures and try to make your hands, hook and yarn, look like the first picture, them try to make it look like the second picture, etc. several times until you can do it easy, then try reading the words. We can do this together...

Although I've been crocheting since I was a young child, I can certainly understand why some people have so much trouble with it (after teaching and trying to teach, several others). One piece of advice I can give, is to just work on the starting chain, until your loops are even and the yarn/thread is flowing freely and comfortably, from your thread-holding hand. If your starting chain is too tight, the others stitches will be a nightmare to make. The way you hold your thread may not be the way someone else holds it. What feels comfortable for one, may be totally wrong for someone else. Try different examples and see which works best for you.
Another piece of advice - learn with a worsted-weight yarn, which has just a bit of stretch to it. A bit of stretch makes it much easier to work stitches, if your tension does happen to be uneven. :thumbup: