need advise regarding my MIL
#101
Buy what the pattern calls for. Keep the extra. However, try to include your MIL and her mother in the whole process. Rebecca VLQ is right. The nursing home is the "end of the road" Any time you spend with both of them, you will not regret! Activity - mental and physical is important for MIL's mom right now.
God Bless!
God Bless!
#104
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Some where in way out West Texas
Posts: 3,041
Originally Posted by mimom
my MIL's mother has been put in a nursing home, so doesn't remember who I am or where she is most of the time. MIL as asked me to make a quilt for Grandma. I am quite certain she does not plan on paying me anything above the cost for this. I have a pattern picked out and the fabric requirements call for more fabric than what you need. Would it be awful of me to buy (her with me) the fabric that the pattern calls for or should I use the ones I have come up with. We are talking more than an extra yard of fabric. I have many projects planned that will be put aside so I can make Grandmas quilt right away.
#105
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 706
for those of you who are recalling bad experiences with nursing homes. As I said previously, my husband has been in Senior care for many years. Perhaps my husband is the exception but lost or stolen goods always were either recovered or the staff where run through the paces to locate it. In many instances a resident gave an item away and my husband had to reel the staff in on the fact it was not allowed. By all means inventory items and provide the administrator of the facility with a copy signed by yourself and them. Putting a dear one in extended care is not easy for anyone, we have seen many reactions from both the resident and the family member. On a humorous note- At one point my husband took away a residents motorized wheel chair after he intentionally ran over another residents foot. He called his children screaming he was being abused and would disinherit them if they didn't get the chair back so he didn't have to use a manual one. The son arrived immediately and after hearing the story, he understood the choice was the motorized chair and moving to a new home or keep the manual one until he could get his temper under control and stay where he was most familiar. The son kissed his father gently on his furrowed brow and told him if he wanted to disinherit him that was his choice.Later it turned out the man was mad at the woman he ran over the foot of because she had declined his lunch invitation- they made up later.
#106
Originally Posted by belmer
This is very generous and thoughtful of you to make this quilt for your Husbands Grandmother in the nursing home, but If she doesn't remember you, how will she remember You made the quilt for her? ( that may not be as important.) Also Please be sure to put her name on it in bold letters on the back when you label it. I made my own grandmother a beautiful quilt and some one stole it from her room. To this day I think it was one of the staff people who worked there. Also make sure you or your MIL take it home to be washed, do not let the nursing home take it to their laundry service. Good Luck to you on this wonderful gift for her.
Why not make a crumb quilt, all the different materials will add a lil color to her room. I made a couple and the gr kids all wanted them.
#107
I haven't read to the end of the post so I apologize in advance if this is a repeat suggestion. To keep your quilt from "walking away" at the nursing home, make it as PERSONAL as possible...pictures of her & the family, names on blocks, first & last big & bold too. After all it's for her at the nursing home, & doesn't need to be entered @ the quilt show as a generic beauty. I don't mean that it should be ugly, just alternate your colorful blocks with a few personalized ones. You can get that inkjet printable fabric @ Joann's or any LQS & use a picture of her with one or all of her children...you never know what might jog a happy memory for her. Also, I agree, it could be lap sized for the wheelchair, I wouldn't do a whole bed quilt...it will end up going through the facility laundry if you do; there are a lot of accidents @ this stage.
My Grandmother was only in a home for 2 years & passed @ 96. At that point she didn't know us, but giving her sewn items with her "favorite things & colors" always brought her joy when we came to visit. That always warmed my heart, as it was "For HER" benefit, not ours. I realize your MIL may want this to be a beauty as it is coming from her, but even her name on a center front block will keep it from "walking so easily". Keep the end recipient foremost in mind. Best wishes & you are kind to do the work.
My Grandmother was only in a home for 2 years & passed @ 96. At that point she didn't know us, but giving her sewn items with her "favorite things & colors" always brought her joy when we came to visit. That always warmed my heart, as it was "For HER" benefit, not ours. I realize your MIL may want this to be a beauty as it is coming from her, but even her name on a center front block will keep it from "walking so easily". Keep the end recipient foremost in mind. Best wishes & you are kind to do the work.
#109
Originally Posted by cabinfever
I haven't read to the end of the post so I apologize in advance if this is a repeat suggestion. To keep your quilt from "walking away" at the nursing home, make it as PERSONAL as possible...pictures of her & the family, names on blocks, first & last big & bold too. After all it's for her at the nursing home, & doesn't need to be entered @ the quilt show as a generic beauty. I don't mean that it should be ugly, just alternate your colorful blocks with a few personalized ones. You can get that inkjet printable fabric @ Joann's or any LQS & use a picture of her with one or all of her children...you never know what might jog a happy memory for her. Also, I agree, it could be lap sized for the wheelchair, I wouldn't do a whole bed quilt...it will end up going through the facility laundry if you do; there are a lot of accidents @ this stage.
My Grandmother was only in a home for 2 years & passed @ 96. At that point she didn't know us, but giving her sewn items with her "favorite things & colors" always brought her joy when we came to visit. That always warmed my heart, as it was "For HER" benefit, not ours. I realize your MIL may want this to be a beauty as it is coming from her, but even her name on a center front block will keep it from "walking so easily". Keep the end recipient foremost in mind. Best wishes & you are kind to do the work.
My Grandmother was only in a home for 2 years & passed @ 96. At that point she didn't know us, but giving her sewn items with her "favorite things & colors" always brought her joy when we came to visit. That always warmed my heart, as it was "For HER" benefit, not ours. I realize your MIL may want this to be a beauty as it is coming from her, but even her name on a center front block will keep it from "walking so easily". Keep the end recipient foremost in mind. Best wishes & you are kind to do the work.
#110
You may not like to hear this, but if you make a quilt, and it is not made with love and caring, it is a waste of your time and benefits no one. Either put aside all negative feelings, (and I don't blame you for having them!) and make it, bless it, and release it. If it is stolen, it was not meant to be hers..... If you don't want to put the time and energy into it, then, please don't do it. Grandma won't know, and it sounds as if MIL is just being manipulative... do it with love, or don't do it at all. I send my love and support to you in making your decision.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
blzzrdqueen
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
17
05-06-2009 09:50 AM