need advise regarding my MIL
04-02-2011, 07:17 AM
#82
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,667
There is a lot of emotion wrapped up in making this quilt. I can read that your MIL is kind of a "pain" at times. Does she quilt? I would buy what the pattern requires, I think the suggestion that the leftovers are yours makes sense.
04-02-2011, 07:34 AM
#83
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Arizona
Posts: 1,930
Originally Posted by mimom
Originally Posted by belmer
This is very generous and thoughtful of you to make this quilt for your Husbands Grandmother in the nursing home, but If she doesn't remember you, how will she remember You made the quilt for her? ( that may not be as important.) Also Please be sure to put her name on it in bold letters on the back when you label it. I made my own grandmother a beautiful quilt and some one stole it from her room. To this day I think it was one of the staff people who worked there. Also make sure you or your MIL take it home to be washed, do not let the nursing home take it to their laundry service. Good Luck to you on this wonderful gift for her.
04-02-2011, 07:40 AM
#84
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Liberty Hill - Central TEXAS Hill Country
Posts: 1,040
Originally Posted by mimom
update: spoke to MIL about theft at nursing homes and we have decided to purchase a nice flowery quilt at walmart or kmart.
Have a blessed day
04-02-2011, 07:46 AM
#86
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,646
Since your MIL did not give any specifics. I would use what you have in your stash, I also think it is wonderful what your doing. I would also put the woman's name in large letters on the quilt. I have seen them stolen time and again.
04-02-2011, 08:17 AM
#87
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Fort White, Fl
Posts: 2,689
Originally Posted by Rebecca VLQ
I disagree. Because...
Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.
Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.
MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.
Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.
Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.
MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.
As for your MIL calling for help, well I have been known to call some of my children on the way home from the store to ask for help and my aunt used to call me to change light bulbs or fix her remote. Try not to be to hard on her. After all she did give birth to you wonderful hubby/ ;-)
04-02-2011, 08:23 AM
#88
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,572
My mom was in a nursing home for 2 years before she passed away. I made her 4 lap quilts, they all came up missing. I even machine embroidered her name in 3" letters at the bottom of each one. I don't know if the home washed them and they were ruined and thrown out. The homes wash in hot water and bleach almost everything. When I asked where is ehr quilt? No one had a clue. Not only will the quilt go missing so will socks, shoes, pants, shirts, glasses, dentures and hearing aids. I had my mom in two different homes and visited everyday and I couldn't keep up with what was happening to her things. The dementia she had kept her from knowing what was hers and where her things were. The best advise is to get a written signed inventory of her things or make one of your own and be very descriptive of each item. Everytime she gets new things taken to her have them written on the inventory and signed by the line with the new entry, and get a copy of the form again with the new items. I did that with the second home and when mom passed awayI asked for everything on the list. Guess what? They couldn't find it all so I gave them two weeks, went back to the home and demanded the items. The home is insured so I asked for the "lost/theft" report form and filled it out using my signed inventory sheet. I went to the mall and found simular items and made note of the costs and submitted it to the home for reimbursement. I got all the money it would have cost to replace the items. It is a Federal law they have to file the form and replace the items. It doesn't matter that mom is no longer alive, they had her stuff and they were responsible for it. I have given the money to the American Cancer Society.
04-02-2011, 08:31 AM
#90
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lebanon, Oregon
Posts: 1,409
Originally Posted by CoriAmD
I would use what you have on hand unless your MIL specifically requested you use certain fabrics.
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