butterflywing

i totally agree with litlehud. your baby should have her father's last name and you should be legally married, even if you don't choose to live together.

there are too many uncertainties in life for each of you not to protect yourselves and your baby. the time may come when you need the support of your 'other' and you must be in a position to get it. you never know what a family member can step in and demand or refuse.

also, as a single mother, you must never put yourself in the position of having your 'other' be able to say you're unfit. even though you've done nothing wrong and are not too young, you never know what the future holds. so take care of yourself as well as your baby.

Mousie

well, I have nothing to say, that has anything to do with replies I have read. I want to focus on your post.
Unless I am misunderstanding, I don't think you were asking anyone's opinion about whether you should smoke or not.
I thought you were asking what ppl thought, about your experience with your baby, and then with that woman.
It sounds to me like you sorted out the different things. You mentioned that the baby isn't quite strong enough to sit up in the cart...that shows you have given some thought to it, so you probably are going to do it differently, until she is. Once you saw that she was falling over, you picked her up, etc.
You held your tongue, until this rude, know it all...and I say that, bc she may have had concerns, but she blew it! Somewhere in all that, she may have had real concern for your child, but her 'concern' got lost, in the way she *itched and moaned at you and threatened, etc.
You had your ac turned on, and were standing right by the car, when she showed up again!
It's none of her business, how old you are, and certainly none of her business if you are married either. Besides, how would she know? Do you know her? Have you ever seen her before? She sounds like she has issues, and a lot of gall.
I am not saying, that any of us, should look the other way, if we see, 'real', neglect, but there are better ways to handle things, than this woman chose. Ask yourself, what you think you should do differently in the future, and let that be your guide, and try to forget this woman. You sound like every new mother out there. Your living and learning, and your baby is being taken care of and loved. take care. :D

lgeorge

Don't let people like that lady bother you and get you upset. People like that look for something to complain about. They don't have a life so they try and make other peoples life miserable. If you was to check into her you would probably find out that she is not a very nice lady. You have your life and she has hers. You do what you think is right and good for your daughter and for yourself. Don't let someone like her get you upset, it is not worth it. The next time just try and walk away from a person like that and if they don't leave you alone then go to the Manager and turn her in for harassing you and tell them that you are afraid of her that she might try and harm your daughter, or might even try and kidnap her. You just never know about people like that. I don't know if I made sense or not but I just felt bad for you and wanted you to know you sound like a good Mom and that lady made you feel like you aren't. Don't listen to people like that. Do you think that you are the only person in this world at the age of 21 that is not married and has a baby? WRONG! Get married when the two of you are ready. Have a good life. God Bless You Both.

Ethel A

All of us are imperfect in some way, shape or fashion. No advice here, really, and certainly no judgment. You're doing the best that you can. Keep loving your baby. Focus on that. All the rest will fall into place.

JoanneS

Please, please, please don't let one crazy lady ruin evn one day of your life. She had no right to do what she did - and the cop backed you up! Try to let it go. How in the world did she think she had the right to judge you. Your business is just that YOURS! If I had been there, I would have march up to the old (or young or whatever) bat and told her to back off! I

angieh1964

good lord when i started reading this i thought u were like 16 or something NOT 21 for godsakes! and at least u were smoking OUTSIDE the car i know someone who is 21 lives with her parents has twins one of which has asthma and all 3 adults smoke around the kids in the house and in the car. dont feel bad and ignore buttheads like that. and dont want to harp (i am an ex smoker smoked for about 25 years when i quite) but i recently read an article on what they call 3 hand smoke the stuff that is left on clothes skin walls everything they did a study and found that the remmants of this 3rd hand smoke is actually more dangerous than 1st and 2nd because 1st has the filter 2 is just at that time but the 3rd is what builds up after time. think about when you clean the inside of your car windows or when u scrubbed the house down before baby was born remember all that yucky yellow and brown ick that is what your baby is coming in contact with when u smoke. This put things in such a better perspective for me! but you sound like a very good and caring mother as long as your child is healthy and happy who gives a crap what those morons have to say!

sasseyib

Hang in there. I think sometimes we forget when we were young and raised our own kids. You are doing fine and as you get older your own methods and feelings will change. Enjoy your life and child now and don't worry about what other people think. Maybe she was just having a bad day or something had gone wrong for her.

seamstome

I dont have kids so take my advice for what it is worth. That woman was a bitty and had no right to step in. OTOH, a couple of the choices you made were not the very BEST (smoking at all when you have a child and the cart thing) but who makes the best decisions all of the time, not I. You are a first time mom which means every experience is new and a learning opportunity.

patricej

this was posted more than a year ago.