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Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage!  How do you do it? >

Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

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Old 07-16-2011, 06:51 AM
  #61  
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We have been married 42 years and I still love this guy with all my heart. Marriage is bound to have ups and downs, all of them do. Nobody is perfect. Respect each other and don't try to change him. Accept him the way he is and if you're lucky he will also feel the same way about you. I found in the early years of marriage, I expected my DH to be a mind reader and "know" what was on my mind. Well, that didn't work too well and I eventually found that if something was bothering me, it was important that "I" speak up and express my thoughts.( and sometimes that was very hard) Most of the time, he never realized something was amiss. Also, at times when you need him to tell you something---don't be afraid to tell him. ie. I'm feeling sad right now and I need a hug and from you and tell me everything will be okay.......works for me---(Don't hold grudges, just makes you miserable...,leave it and go on.)
BTW, you two are a darling couple and I wish you nothing but the best! :lol:
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:56 AM
  #62  
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I've been married for 24 years, to someone I love so much that I never want to see him unhappy. For me I think thats it. To have a love so strong you would do anything for that person. We never argue, and we do things for each other to make each others day a good one. He's attentive to me, and I attentive to him. The secret for me, is Love.
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:56 AM
  #63  
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Originally Posted by NancyG
Trust, communication, honesty, fidelity, sense of humor, and don't sweat the small stuff!
Couldn't have said it any better!
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Old 07-16-2011, 06:59 AM
  #64  
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I have been married 25 yrs - I was 19 and my hubby was 25 when we married. You have to work at marriage and allow each other to grow and learn together - its not always easy and peaches and cream but you build a life together and many memories along the way. You must learn to compromise - each giving a litlle along the way. Also, humor helps.. When you go through bad stuff - you go through it together - same with the good stuff.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:01 AM
  #65  
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Good advice from all. Married 45 years and still going strong for two very independent persons...raised three children who support themselves and family. Retired and know we are there for each other but are different as day and night in our thinking many times. Still think it was meant to be since we were born in the same hospital 9 months apart...God always has had a sense of humor with His Love.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:04 AM
  #66  
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"Don't sweat the small stuff, its all small stuff". I think the best I can offer is if you disagree on something, sit down and talk about it, if it means a lot to one of you, the other can give in --of course this goes both ways.
With myself and DH (married 45 years by the way) that is always the way we settle things. We have actually listed on paper the why's of doing (or getting) something. Its always been a shared decision on the BIG stuff, and we have never sweated the small stuff. Example: who ever empties the tissue roll can put the new one on any direction they want. Gets to be a game after a while--oh yes and always laugh together. We have always made a habit of, at minimum, having a long hug at least once a day, and always saying "I love you" first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
A wise older woman (she was at least 85 and I was a new bride)gave me some advice. She said "Honey you go downtown and buy the prettiest nightie in the store, then put it on the chair by the bed in case of fire". I was about 20 at the time and about died in place right there. grin.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:04 AM
  #67  
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I was married to my best friend for 35 years. We fussed and fought but we worked hard on our relationship. Joe brought me flowers every week until he could no longer leave the house...after that, he called the local florist. We took time for each other always having a "date night". The kids loved that and now are doing the same with their wives. We were both "Type A" personalities so we did disagree often but we smiled a lot as well and laughed at ourselves over our behavior. We saw friends divorce and it was terrifying to both of us. We always hoped and prayed it wouldn't ever end for us. I think that helped us keep an eye of what was important in our relationship. I loved him more every day and he felt the same. I hope you are as lucky as we were. I miss him but still feel his love all around me.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:05 AM
  #68  
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Remember neither of you are perfect and neither of you are always right. I'm a firm believer that marrige takes 3 - husband, wife and Jesus Christ. If you will keep Jesus Christ as the center of your marriage, your marriage will with stand anything.
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:06 AM
  #69  
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I've been married almost 30 years. My advice is to make sure he's your absolute best friend. Also keep a plaque or embroidered pillow in the bedroom that says "Always Kiss Me Goodnight" - it works and it's wonderful. Then, never forget to hug. This is exspecially fun when the kids are teenagers - it grosses them out! But hugging is one of the most important things (to me) in a marriage. And finally, some adivce that my dear mother gave me that saved my marriage through a particularily rough patch. She said, "sometimes you'll have days that are bad, sometimes even weeks or months. I remember a time when a whole entire year seemed to be too much, but.... the end is always better than the beginning". It got me to hang in there - we'd been married around 8 years and I truly thought we'd grown apart, but now after nearly 30 years, she was SO right. He's my very best friend and I love him to pieces!!! So always...hang in there....it's worth it. Good luck to you both!
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Old 07-16-2011, 07:08 AM
  #70  
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I don't want to sound like money is everything, but if money problems are removed from the table a marriage can survive almost anything. Agree on a savings plan and BOTH work to contribute to that plan. Whether working a job and pulling a certain percent from the paycheck, or working in the home watching prices and making wise purchases, you can both work together to build your nest egg. We actually have had a great deal of FUN seeing how much we could save without depriving ourselves of "things" too much. When we were younger our purchasing was on a need basis, and , I guess, we still look at things that way. "Do I REALLY need that, or will I use it."

If you use a credit card KNOW what that end of the month sum will be and PAY it off totally so you won't have to add any interest. That "good deal" will not be such a good deal after interest charges begin to add on. If this can't be done get rid of the credit card.
Still having fun after 30 years.
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