BellaBoo

I wouldn't make it too easy for your son. It's your room not his. But kids are our joy so you have to try. I would put a bed up in the attic, buy a clothes rack and believe me he will come up with other needed items for up there. he wont' be there much except to sleep anyway. I would rather help my kids pay their rent then have them move back home.

G'ma Kay

keep your room, let him have the couch. You don't want him so comfortable he doesn't ever leave.

Texasjunebug

I think of the situation as not wanting to bring your young adult back into your home as a "dependent child" which they certainly are not. They need to retain their dignity and independence as an adult. The hardest thing I have had to do for my son was to allow him to be a man. I have a tendency to want to be the "fix everything" kind of mom, and logically I know that is not in his best interest.

It is difficult enough for an adult to "return home because of temporary situations of need." IMO, putting them back in their old room, with the old family schedule (whatever that may have been) reinforces too many dependent memories, and can be a stumbling block for them to advance to the next stage of their life. There's nothing wrong with temporarily returning home for valid reasons. Just bring them back as an adult, and share your life - don't make them feel you are sacrificing for them. That has a way of dumping unintended guilt on them, and impedes their progress and the enjoyment you can have together in the adult-to-adult relationship that you both have earned.

montanajan

What about a bed in the walk-in attic? And his clothes in tubs instead of your fabric in tubs? If the door remains open most of the time, would it stay warm enough for him to sleep in it? The former bedroom is now your room - don't make him too comfy or he won't have the needed incentive to find a way to be on his own again. IMHO the room should stay as your craft room. Good luck with whatever you decide.

IrishNY

Could he sleep in one of DH's office rooms? Just a corner maybe. He should be out of there during the day when DH is working.

And good luck. The conflict is so strong between wanting to help them and hating to give up 'your' space.

mom-6

I've had various offspring in and out at various times since they 'left home'. It seemed to work best for all concerned when they borrowed the living room rather than having a room of their own again. The instinct is to want to make them as comfortable as possible because they've come across hard times. But somehow that becomes counterproductive because it seems to hinder their motivation to go and do and get that new job or new apartment or whatever that is needed.

smagruder

Do you have a basement, small area in the family room, or any other part of the house? Sorry you are losing your craft room...... hope the return of your son gives you lots of pleasure. I know I would gladly give up any room to have him back. Right now I am in his bedroom as it became the computer room.... Best wishes.

chance

I also agree with upnorth, akgranny and texusjunebug. A little bit of "tough love" (emphasis on the LOVE)

plainpat

I don't have any help to offer. If he's gonna be there a long time, maybe heat the unheated attic space for him?

A friend told me not to make it too comfy for returning relatives LOL.....as they won't ever leave again.We have such a small place,not an option.

quilt3311

I can relate to the "no room to put stuff". When I had the opportunity to purchase a (fairly large) sewing desk from the estate of a friend, my DH said we would make room for it. It is now in my living room. His take is "WE live here and WE can do whatever we want, if someone comes and doesn't like it they can go home". Gotta love that man! Actually its nice as he can read or watch TV and I am right across the room.