False Praise
04-26-2011, 09:30 AM
#131
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 2,774
I was taught that if you can't say anything good about something, don't say anything at all. I would rather have some one tell me the problems that they see than say "oh how wonderful". Of course, I haven't shown any of my quilts cause I know they aren't good enough. So far, the dogs have lots of new beds, our daughters have wall-hangings but quilting for someone else......NOT YET!!!!!
04-26-2011, 09:50 AM
#132
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: washington
Posts: 1,424
Originally Posted by quiltingnonie
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
04-26-2011, 10:07 AM
#133
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In the Panhandle of Texas
Posts: 1,091
[quote=quiltingnonie]Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.[/quote
I absolutely agree. Another saying also applies: "One person's trash is another person's treasure" - hurting someone's feelings, even if it isn't intentional is not being kind. Each of us sees colors, and things differently. And each person grows and advances in totally different ways. Being kind is never wrong....
I absolutely agree. Another saying also applies: "One person's trash is another person's treasure" - hurting someone's feelings, even if it isn't intentional is not being kind. Each of us sees colors, and things differently. And each person grows and advances in totally different ways. Being kind is never wrong....
04-26-2011, 10:14 AM
#135
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: League City, Texas
Posts: 79
If I ever post a picture I would hope you would give constructive criticism. There are ways of doing it that shouldn't offend anyone such as, "What would you think if---.or something like that. I don't have a nack for matching colors and to me it would be very helpful to say it might not be the best color combination or something along those lines.
04-26-2011, 10:29 AM
#136
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 13,120
Praise...there is always something good to say...sometimes you just have to look for the positive. It could be as simple as commenting on their enthusiasm, colors, pattern, etc.
We are all unique individuals...and so are our quilts!
AMEN!
We are all unique individuals...and so are our quilts!
AMEN!
04-26-2011, 10:34 AM
#137
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: MN / GA
Posts: 1,435
Originally Posted by hobo2000
If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.
04-26-2011, 10:49 AM
#138
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan's Thumb
Posts: 391
Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?
I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.
When I posted pictures of my first quilt a member told me something that I didn't know or would not have thought of I said that I stitched in the ditch around 6 inchs squares and she said that I probly should have done something in side the squares as it was large distance between the stitching. I didn't take offence I will remember it on the quilt that I have to do by june. If some one can't give input expecially to newbees like me then what are we here for. Like some said if I really don't like something I just don't comment. And I really don't know enough to tell some one that they are doing something wrong when I am just learning. It makes a difference as to how things are worded as to how one takes the comment. If I had a block wacky I sure would want some one to tell me.
That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?
When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?
I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.
When I posted pictures of my first quilt a member told me something that I didn't know or would not have thought of I said that I stitched in the ditch around 6 inchs squares and she said that I probly should have done something in side the squares as it was large distance between the stitching. I didn't take offence I will remember it on the quilt that I have to do by june. If some one can't give input expecially to newbees like me then what are we here for. Like some said if I really don't like something I just don't comment. And I really don't know enough to tell some one that they are doing something wrong when I am just learning. It makes a difference as to how things are worded as to how one takes the comment. If I had a block wacky I sure would want some one to tell me.
That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?
04-26-2011, 11:11 AM
#140
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by shawnemily
Originally Posted by np3
If they haven't asked for help on improving their skills, then don't offer it. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. It may not look right to you, but it looks right to them and that is all that counts. It may not be your color choices, but it was theirs.
I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.
I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.
I agree 100%! If you dont have something nice to say.... dont say anything! If they ask for honest opinions ... then give them.... but do it in a PM rather than embarrasing them on the board! If they ask for help in a project; that is when we should give them our suggestions/opinions. As it has been said over and over; "our quilt; our style, no rules!" Skill comes from practice and if they are embarrased they may give up!
I was on another board a couple of years ago and they were a bunch of quilting snobs and nasty quilt police! They thought nothing of totally dissing someones work on the message board and it was awful! (I never posted pics because I didnt want to chance the embarrasment the others had!)
Just an example of how bad they were..... I joined in a round robin before I realized how nasty they were and when I received the top I was to work on; there was a note in it from the previous round quilter that said;
I hope you are able to continue on this; I had to totally remove and redo ________'s row before I could do anything with it!!!!
That turned me right off! The point of a round robin is to end up with a quilt that is a combination of the whole group's efforts. Not what one person thinks it should be!!
What I LOVE about this board is the friendliness and compassion for everyone on it. And how everyone is encouraged to join in no matter what their level of skill is.
OK...enuf said.
I LOVE THIS BOARD!!!!!!
I really like these boards because the lion's share of people here recognize the hard work and dedication in this hobby. We all grow and improve the longer we try.
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