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Thread: Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

  1. #1
    Senior Member LovinMySoldier's Avatar
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    I thought I would come to you wonderful ladies for a little advice and opinions! I frequently am reading on here about anniversaries 25, 30, 40 even 50 years long! I think that is absolutely amazing! Now a days if something doesn't work out ya get a divorce :(

    I would love to know all of the advice that you all have! Just like your one best piece of advice for a young couple. Especially in the communication department. Especially when bringing up touchy subjects that HAVE to be addressed!

    I am 25 years old. My husband and I have been together for over 8 years and have been married for over 5. Yes we were married young :) We both still love each other very much and NO we are not having problems or contemplating divorce :P Just looking for advice to keep our marriage strong and healthy!

  2. #2
    Super Member TonnieLoree's Avatar
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    Trust.

  3. #3
    Senior Member nycbgirl's Avatar
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    I have been happily married for nearly 16 years and what has served me well is the thought: We are in a marriage and it's give and take and it's never 50/50 it's 100/100 on each side and if we have a disagreement I always remember the goal is not to "win" the disagreement but to settle it.

  4. #4
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Cant help ya, divorced. In a relationship though, 5 years or so. I've learned that it doesnt matter which way the toilet paper comes off the roll.

  5. #5
    Super Member tammy cosper's Avatar
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    Always remember your best friends. That can get you through lots.

  6. #6
    Super Member jayelee's Avatar
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    I am 51 have been married for thirty years in September and all I can tell you is that it is work keeping a marriage together Please dont walk out every time there is a problem Work it out Compromise on both sides is necessary. Personnally I think divorce should cost $100,000 and weddings should be $100 if it cost more people would work on it and not just walk away Thirty years ago my brother in law got married two months before us and his bride to be said if it doesnt work out we can divorce the hour of her wedding three years later they were divorce My parents said divorce is not done in our family so make sure you know who you are marrying

  7. #7
    Super Member BarbaraSue's Avatar
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    The only advice I will give you is that you both need to believe in each other as the person they are as well as who they will become. Meaning: you must allow each other to grow as an individual as you are growing as a couple.
    Neither should be stifled/smothered/denied the opportunity to learn, to have hobbies, or to give up dreams. You each have the the right to be the you you want to be.
    Talk honestly about your dreams/wishes and where you want to be in 5 more years. Listen to each other.
    An example is my DH and I will be married 40 years this fall. We both went back to school and got our degrees after we were married and with kids. I love to sew and quilt; he does woodworking. He is taking flying lessons as he always wanted to fly. We moved from southern IN to central IL for his job opportunity. It was a mutual decision.
    Lastly, do not assume anything. That can be the start of taking for granted what one of you do for the relationship. It takes 2 (3 if you include God) to make a marriage, but it only takes one to make a mess that ends it all. Good Luck!:)

  8. #8
    Super Member NancyG's Avatar
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    Trust, communication, honesty, fidelity, sense of humor, and don't sweat the small stuff!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Crabby Patty's Avatar
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    The best advice my mom ever gave me is to never go to bed on an argument. If you're angry when you go to bed and one passes away in the night, you never get a chance to make up and it will haunt you forever. This has served me well for 40 years. Good luck.

  10. #10
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    You are responsible for your own happiness, that's not your husband's job (and vice-versa). I can't stress enough how important this is in any relationship!
    Having your spouse is the most wonderful way to share your happiness :)
    Also give each other space to grow. I think it's especially important when you marry young. ( I was young too)

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