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Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Old 07-15-2011, 09:10 PM
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Location: Perry, Oklahoma
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Originally Posted by NancyG
Trust, communication, honesty, fidelity, sense of humor, and don't sweat the small stuff!
I've been married almost 38 years when
December comes around...

All I can say is Ditto to this post, most of all communication....
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:27 PM
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July 16 is our 34th Wedding Anniversary. My best advice would be to communicate as clearly as you can. Let your needs be known and respect each other.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:30 PM
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Everything already said, but especially laugh together. In just over 29 years, there has not been one day that my DH hasn't made me laugh. A sense of hunour is invaluable.
And NEVER(yes I meant to yell) go to bed mad at one another. Not because one of you might pass away, as stated earlier, but because if you don't work it out, it will seem even more insurmountable in the morning.
And good luck for a long and happy married life together.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:31 PM
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I started a thread last year about long marriages and I got some wonderful responses and stories. I loved reading all of them and it gives me inspiration! you can find it here if you are up for some reading
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by NancyG
Trust, communication, honesty, fidelity, sense of humor, and don't sweat the small stuff!
That's about sums it up!!! For me communication is number one. Talk to eachother, let him know how you feel and tell him to do the same. Took my hubby a while to do so, was not a big talker.
I've married young too. Meet my hubby when I was 15, married at 19, had two kids, nine moves and now we've been married 26 years and going strong.
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:48 PM
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I agree with all the posts and will add for us God is at the center of our lives. Make sure u tell each other u love each other i love u and thank you. Hold hands often. Have empathy for the other person. Our minister said. " every day you are given a block you can either build a wall or a home!! God bLess and may u have many happy yrs!!
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:56 PM
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Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Realise that when you marry, you take on the other person's "issues" (family, past, foibles etc) and there is no point being surprised when this causes problems. You just roll up your sleeves and recognise that his problems are your problems (and vice versa) and work through it.

Communication is of course important, BUT you also have to remember that his definition of communication may not be the same as yours! Lots of men are comfortable with less communication about their feelings than their partner would like, and sometimes we have to just leave him alone and NOT talk about out feelings. Not for the big things, obviously, but pick your battles- some things you just have to let go. Focus on the positive and let the small things go- you are not perfect yourself.
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Old 07-15-2011, 11:02 PM
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I have been happily married for nearly 26 years and what has served me well is the thought: We are in a marriage and it's give and take and it's 150/150 on each side. I don't believe it's greener on the other side. You fell in love with the person you married. Don't change him because he won't be the person you married. I see far to much with this. Wait till their married and think they can change the other person. Marry with the standards you want and not with ones you think you can change. be happy ,smile and always try to make his day easier, happier and you'll find yourself happier.
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Old 07-15-2011, 11:03 PM
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Never go to bed angry with each other!!
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Old 07-15-2011, 11:10 PM
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I have just celebrated my 28th Anniversary and have 3 wonderful daughters who came to share it with hubby and me. It is still hard work working on a marriage. You CANNOT change your man. That is one thing i have learnt. I have to be the bad one and moan and moan and moan if i want something done. But there again, i do it myself sometimes or get someone else to do it, or just leave it... LOL Lots of options, i just have to choose the "right" one for the cause! I have got to love the good and the bad parts and that is what makes him the unique and wonderful husband. Just remember, you also have faults and they cannot be easy to live with either. I have changed over the years, and still need a lot more changing, but there are some things, that i just cannot change and the same with him. I am very, very, very lucky and i still some days cannot believe that God chose him for me. I am truly thankful.
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