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Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Need help on having a lasting and happy marriage! How do you do it?

Old 07-15-2011, 08:40 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Washington,State
Posts: 1,602

Originally Posted by LovinMySoldier
I thought I would come to you wonderful ladies for a little advice and opinions! I frequently am reading on here about anniversaries 25, 30, 40 even 50 years long! I think that is absolutely amazing! Now a days if something doesn't work out ya get a divorce :(

I would love to know all of the advice that you all have! Just like your one best piece of advice for a young couple. Especially in the communication department. Especially when bringing up touchy subjects that HAVE to be addressed!

I am 25 years old. My husband and I have been together for over 8 years and have been married for over 5. Yes we were married young :) We both still love each other very much and NO we are not having problems or contemplating divorce :P Just looking for advice to keep our marriage strong and healthy!
Just remember that With God as your 1st step in all things all other things are easyer. And that a fight does not mean this is the end! but A way to learn to be have stronger partnership by overcoming the diffcuty as a team. When you married you became ONE, Therefore you have to think kindly about each other as you would your self! 8-)
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:41 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Richardson, TX
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Hi There.... We have been married 48 years. First of all, we can't afford to divorce. LOL Also, approach your marriage with the attitude that divorce is NOT AN OPTION. There will be highs and lows, but communicate from the very beginning so that it is a habit. Discuss everything in a timely manner so things don't build up. Don't blame... and start conversations with "I am feeling" or some such not with "You never.." It is alright for both of you to have your own time and interests as long as you don't let them become more imortant than your shared life. Marriage takes work, but it is all worth it. Wishing you many. many happy years of companionship and true love.

Don't forget to keep a good sense of humor. Laughing is good for you and helps keep things in perspective.
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:42 PM
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Location: Idaho
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I've been married 3 times. First time at 16, divorced 4 years later. He was 27 to my 16 years.
Second time lasted 21 years. I left when I couldn't stand the control issues he had anymore.

Third time's a charm. William and I have been married 12 years, and are still madly in love. When we got married, a good friend that had at the time been married for 30 years told us, "Find SOMETHING to laugh about EVERY day, no matter what life brings...seek out something that will make you both smile"
The other thing I always remember is a couple that had been married for 78 years were interviewed. When asked their secret for staying happily married that long, she responded, "We never fell out of love with each other AT THE SAME TIME."
I really do believe that a couple, individually, will fall in and out of love several times in the course of their union. The key is to "tough it out" until you fall back in love... :)
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:43 PM
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Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188

Sit down and talk about everything. Let him rest and eat, don't bring up bad things while he's tired and hungry. Choose your battles, but do fight fair. No yelling, if you disagree, calmly discuss that disagreement.

My late DH and I were married for 39 1/2 years, he died 4 years ago and I still miss him. No no one else in the picture at all. Still miss him, he was strong and gentle and was my rock to lean on. And I took care of him the last few years he was at home and becoming weaker as time went on, because he was a lovable person. And I'll always miss him.

Become friends first and lovers next. And like someone else said, forget that 50/50 crap, each one should give 100 percent in a marriage.
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:51 PM
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I theaten to take mine back to Wal-Mart (that's where I picked him up 14 years ago) if he doesn't do things my way!!!!
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:51 PM
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I theaten to take mine back to Wal-Mart (that's where I picked him up 14 years ago) if he doesn't do things my way!!!!
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:54 PM
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Location: Yakima, WA
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Have a freakin' sense of humor. That said....

Marriage is a partnership, no one says you have to like each other all the time or agree with each other all the time, if you did you would have married someone exactly like yourself and who in their right mind would want to do that!

Treat your marriage like a partnership, treat each other with respect, kindness and consideration and accept each other's differences and treat each other as equals. You can't solve every problem and sometimes will just have to agree to disagree. Form a united front when dealing with your kids, don't let them manipulate you or play you against one another. Let them know your relationship is as important to you as they are.

I've been married 34 years, it's my second marriage and my DH's first, we haven't agreed on the time of day since we met but we each had all the qualities important to us both and our marriage has lasted. What's that old saying - something worthwhile is never easy.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:01 PM
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Never ever say anything negative about your spouse to anyone, even in jest. Always point out the good parts at every opportunity.
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:04 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lebanon Missouri
Posts: 2,668

I'll give you the same advice my Gramma gave me---TALK and LISTEN to one another-- NEVER EVER go to bed mad and ALWAYS tell one another you love the life you have together Never take one another for granted- Hold hands every chance you get- Help each other get over the hurdles because there will be hurdles AND once an argument is settled leave it that way don't dwell on the petty things Last but not least -----Love-Honor and Cherish your lifes partner--- I only had my Husband for 25 yrs before he passed away And we were still IN love and I'll always be in love with him
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:07 PM
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Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 9,418

Wake up each day with the thought "what can I do to make his life better?" Too many of my girlfriends always want to know what their husbands can do for them - when instead, if they thought about what THEY could do for their HUSBANDS, their husbands would worship the ground they walk on.

Also, enable each other's hobbies. :)
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