BF wants to get married but I want to run...need advice
#32
i've been single 25 years and honestly can't think of being married again,means i would have to share stuff and my time,make time for him,fell obligated to be there for him,
i'm too selfish after all this time for that
i'm too selfish after all this time for that
#34
I am 57 this is my second marriage, we have been happily married for 26 years. But I agree with so many, if something happened, I would not get married again. My husband now is so easy to get along with and allows me travel or do whatever I want even if he does not want to be involved or go along. I am very independent and I think it would be hard to find another so understanding.
#35
Here's my two cents worth...
I divorced at 29 and spent my time co-parenting (my ex was a wonderful man) my two kids. I dated and sometimes things got serious. I shied away from every man who took a serious interest in me. Couldn't even conceive the idea of living with someone else. 6 years ago when I was 44, I met Paul. I can't conceive of being without him.
When you can't commit to someone, I truly believe it is because he isn't the one. Be happy in your own space and someday IF and when it is right you'll be more than happy to share your independence with someone else.
I divorced at 29 and spent my time co-parenting (my ex was a wonderful man) my two kids. I dated and sometimes things got serious. I shied away from every man who took a serious interest in me. Couldn't even conceive the idea of living with someone else. 6 years ago when I was 44, I met Paul. I can't conceive of being without him.
When you can't commit to someone, I truly believe it is because he isn't the one. Be happy in your own space and someday IF and when it is right you'll be more than happy to share your independence with someone else.
#37
My hubby Ken and I have been married for 35 years - I was a free spirit before meeting him and was worried that I would loose myself being married. My heart said go for it so I did. I did not loose my identity - I do what I please when I want. I would not have it any other way.
With that being said, my concern is that you seem to hesitate too much. This tells me that there are still things you need to iron out. Do what your heart tells you to do.
I agree with Mamagus - when you can not commit then it is not right at this moment. It may work out - but give it time.
With that being said, my concern is that you seem to hesitate too much. This tells me that there are still things you need to iron out. Do what your heart tells you to do.
I agree with Mamagus - when you can not commit then it is not right at this moment. It may work out - but give it time.
#38
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
I asked a therapist, no less, a question one time...he did not respond, bc he wanted me to figure it out myself.
Here's what I figured out: If a person had to even question something, then they are not sure...yet. When they are sure, they will know bc the yes' and the pro's, (versus cons), and their heart, will tell them. :D
wow, I am impressed. I wrote my reply after reading maybe one or two answers, and it seems, just about everybody gave a similar answer. This was edited in, when I got to the end.
:D
Here's what I figured out: If a person had to even question something, then they are not sure...yet. When they are sure, they will know bc the yes' and the pro's, (versus cons), and their heart, will tell them. :D
wow, I am impressed. I wrote my reply after reading maybe one or two answers, and it seems, just about everybody gave a similar answer. This was edited in, when I got to the end.
:D
#39
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
i am 66, married 47 years. i will always like a male companion, and i would like him to live three houses away. but would i marry again? no way.
let his children take care of him in his dotage.
let his children take care of him in his dotage.
#40
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
Originally Posted by butterflywing
i am 66, married 47 years. i will always like a male companion, and i would like him to live three houses away. but would i marry again? no way.
let his children take care of him in his dotage.
let his children take care of him in his dotage.
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