cathyvv

Excellent solution!

KarenR

Enjoy Christmas! You are not being forced to give gifts. You are enjoying doing it.

Maybe spread out the gifts throughout the year. A small gift on a down day can really brighten the day.

I give my Christmas gifts anytime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

my-ty

Have you thought how many gifts your daughters are buying? Let's do some math (with some guesses) and just look at it from one daughter's viewpoint. As you stated a parent should give each child, 5 gifts each plus say 3 Santa gifts each. Now if your daughter wants to teach the importance of "giving", each child should be giving a gift to their sibling, and their parents. And she gives 2 gifts to her spouse. That is a total of 26 gifts to be given within their family unit.

Each activity the kids are in, has a coach which needs a gift, 3 activities * 2 kids = 6 gifts. Each teacher needs a gift, 1 teacher * 2 kids = 2 gifts. Maybe the kids have friends that they want to send gifts to, 3 friends * 2 kids = 6 gifts. That's 14 more gifts.

I am sure your daughter has some special girlfriends that she always exchanges gifts with, 3 friends = 3 gifts. And maybe these friends each have 2 children, = 6 gifts. That's 9 gifts to her girlfriends.

Gifts within her family, 1 for you, 1 for your husband, 1 for sis, 1 for brother-in-law, and 3 gifts to each niece/nephew. That's 10 gifts for her family.

Assuming, her husband comes from the same-sized family. Another 10 for his family.

If I can add correctly, that's 69 gifts. This does not include any hostess gifts (if they are invited out), other gift exchange, or other unexpected gift-giving occasion.

Sounds pretty crazy. I speak from experience, this is why daughters ask their mothers to "please draw names".

amelia0607

I do give them gifts throughout the year - just because. It might be a manicure or a homecooked meal or an outfit (that they select) or a necklace or something like that. The small gifts at Christmas are things they will use for instance - one daughter scrapbooks extensively so I may give her some fun scrapbooking paper. The other daughter loves to cook so I do look for some fun small kitchen gadget. Both of their husbands do the repairs and maintenance on their cars so last year their small present was a magnet bowl for their shops. Their larger gifts are always something that they have each specifically asked for as I don't want to get them something they don't want or need. I am more than fine with them drawing names among themselves and I'm not asking or expecting them to get us anything I just want the option to give gifts to my children. Sort of like when my parents, siblings, in-laws started drawing names, I still get my parents something even if I drew my brother or someone else. I just can't imagine not giving my parents a Christmas gift. Oh and for many years I have sponsored a child for Christmas.

Sandygirl

We quit doing gifts years ago...except for the kids, of course. Adults can go out to buy their own stuff. Why torture yourself UNLESS that is your "joy". I would give from the heart BUT i also do not expect a return gift. I, frankly, enjoy the holidays much more, thanks to simplifying the celebration. Great food, the company of family and friends and participating in the worship services, which is the "reason for the season". I no longer identify with the mass histeria of shopping, mall hours, the rush, etc. Heck, i barely mail cards anymore since Facebook! Lol!

i DO. Like to walk the malls to enjoy the decorations and window shop the merchandise . I does get me in the spirit of shopping but I don't stand in the lines or shop the crazy hours. Too many years working in retail cures that propaganda! No credit card balances that suck the joy out of the holidays in months to come, either.

Yep, i am currently enjoying poking the Christmas aisles.

sandy

Geri B

Gifts...I used to but it was one gift purchase, then I would find something I really wanted too....on and on.......I would be asked by kids what I wanted...nothing, I can buy it myself...my thinking there is if I have to tell you what to buy me...forget it....enough cynicism, my solution is all get gift cards...GDs..stores they shop in, DDs restaurant gift cards... The only gifts are to 3GGs....there I will go crazy!! A blessing to see them.......I have told DDs for me gift cards to places I shop for quilting stuff, if they want to....but really to see all their faces on Christmas Day is gift enough for me...and a prayer for their dad who is celebrating the Birthday with the One.

quilter68

Gift-giving is fun. I cannot physically do the shopping or making of gifts now. I send each family a package of 'OMAHA' steaks or a basket from 'Harry & David'. That is one to each household. Now the grands are getting married and I am sending them a smaller package. If I don't get a Thank you, I will drop them from the list next year. This attidue is after 53 years of giving! It is what it is.

Onebyone

I have two DDs and their spouses and three grands. Not that many to buy for. I give each family a year's pass to the theme/ water park That is really appreciated. They can go to the park whenever they like as often as they like.

toverly

I think the gift giving is over rated among adults. My MIL used to give us little gifts and items. Nothing expensive but simple things. I hated it. I don't need a cute coffee cup, candle or household item. and really, if we needed something, we bought it for ourselves. Let them relax. If they want to quit exchanging, it's okay. Focus on family and togetherness.

AZ Jane

We have done this for many years (drawn names). Now all the grandchildren are grown, so do we add them to the "drawing" or keep giving them stuff?? We were almost to the point of just giving cash or gift cards. We decided to rent a cabin in the mountains (we are in the desert) for the week of Christmas, which will be our gift to each other!! Of course I will still make little things (luggage tags, cord wranglers) but the stress relief is wonderful.