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Thread: From cradle to grave in one institution after another vs cradle to grave at home

  1. #26
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Central NJ
    Struggling with dad's future care as I type. Very tough year for him medically. I am currently with him (several states from home) so that sis can have a break. Two sibs are local to him and 2 of us are not. Tough situations as well as choices. Each person...those needing care and those providing it....have different needs and circumstances. What is right for you and yours may not be the same for me or any of our neighbors. We can only hope to make the best decisions based on available information at the time. Sometimes those decisions might need go be reevaluated after time, but only time will tell.

    Deep breaths. Repeat many times per hour. Change is tough.

  2. #27
    Super Member madamekelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
    Blog Entries
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltsRfun View Post
    As the grandmother of a child with autism I've learned not to judge the parenting of others. Decisions are made based on individual circumstances. This also applies to my two parents in assisted living. I know my limitations and could never give them the care they're getting.
    I wish our government was as wise as you are. I have watched lousy parents abuse kids for years, and never hear from CPS, and have seen good parents lose their children to the government. I have watched the government give children to folks I would not leave alone with my dog. I have hear d CPS workers casually mention that all foster children develop "attachment disorders" as if discussing the weather. Nothing is ever done to prevent or treat it. Government needs to get out of the business of children and let communities go back to raising children. Before the government got involved, we had children who respected parents, rules, teachers, and themselves, not we have whole generations u able to cope with life. Most of them are now on disability, or living in the streets. The system is broken and so is our future. Makes me glad to be old. I won't be here when the results of electronic babysitters comes home to roost.
    If you always do, what you have always done, The results never change. Change is the wings you give yourself.

  3. #28
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Sonoma County, CA
    I don't have children so I'm living on the assumption that when DH & I get old enough we're going to have to arrange for a paid caretaker or live in some sort of assisted living facility. I am trying to save up accordingly, so I can end up somewhere decent in my sunset years. I'm hoping some sort of personal assistant robots will be a reality by then, to help prolong my self reliance period, but who knows what will happen? I hope my niece and/or nephew will help keep an eye on us so we won't be taken advantage of when our minds start to lose touch with reality, since we won't have kids of our own to watch out for us.

    There's a really nice senior assisted-living facility in my area that puts on an annual quilt show. It is very nice and clean and they have lovely gardens, and the residents seem happy and active. I hope I can afford somewhere like that, when it's time for me to live with help! I wouldn't mind living there now! LOL

  4. #29
    Super Member AZ Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Phoenix, AZ
    I think her "point" was to start a discussion and thought. It worked.
    Better to do something imperfectly, than nothing perfectly.
    Done is better than perfect.

  5. #30
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Corpus Christi, Tx.
    Blog Entries
    Sometimes the individual can choose, then there are often times someone else has to make the choice for the individual. May not always be preferred but often needed. The consequences are often not to the liking of others.

  6. #31
    Super Member Margie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Murrysville, PA
    I found strollers wonderful. I had two children 11 months apart and a husband in the Navy. I do not know how I could have managed without a stroller. I could take the children for walks, shopping, visiting. Children are much safer in crowds in a stroller, in summer not as hot against someone's body, in the winter, safer if the ground is slippery and you take a fall holding them. Also, back problems can be an issue. I used a play pen to keep the chldren safe if I needed to used the bathroom, or change laundry loads, or some other task when I felt they were too young to be left unattended. My children were loved and well-cared for. I applaud parents who use whatever they need to enjoy their children, keep them safe and nuture them. Judge NOT....maybe I was not perfect, but I tried and my children grew up safe and are wonderful parents and productive members of society.
    favorite poem..Outwitted by Edwin Markham...He drew a circle that shut us out..heretic, rebel a thing to flout.
    But Love and I had the wit to win,
    We drew a circle that took him in!

  7. #32
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    I honestly think that you won't know what you will do until the situation is at your doorstep. Well meaning people have said that they won't do this, or they just couldn't do that, that is until "this or that" presented its self..Life is what it is and you just can't say for sure what the future holds.

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