nancy59

One day I picked up by GD from school. She was telling me that they were learning about "want" and "need" in class. For example, I may want a soda but I need water. I may want candy but I need fruit. I may want makeup but at your age you need makeup.
I swear one more remark like that and she is out of the will.

JanP

When my daughter was about five, she uttered a bad word: "Sh*t." Trying to head this language off, I told her not to say that when she was mad but to say, "Shoot a monkey." That afternoon she heard her dad say, "Damn." So she marched up to him, with her hands on her hips, and totally bewildered him by saying, "Don't say 'damn' -- say 'monkey sh*t'!"

kwhite

OMG these are hilarious.

I have another that one of you reminded me of.

When DD was about 4 we were in the grocery store and in the line in front of us was a woman with bright pink hair. I did my best to stay between her and DD so that I would not get the all too familiar, "HEY MOM" Well I failed miserably because very soon I heard, "HEY MOM, WHY IS THAT LADY'S HAIR PINK?!?!" The lady just turned around with a very smug smile and looked at me waiting for me to answer this loud child. I looked at DD and said, "well honey her hair is pink because she chewed too much bubble gum as a child." Pink lady thought that was great.

JulieR

My parents' neighbors have several small children. One day while my father was out doing yardwork, the three-year-old son (who was quite distressed) came running towards him with his hands outstretched and clamped around something clearly important.

"Mr. Jerry, help! Mr. Jerry! Oh help! I have bless you in my hands!"

On a positive note, at least the child knew to cover his mouth and nose when he sneezed.

ncredbird

My DH and I had a worm bin and mulch project that we had in a bin under the kitchen sink. Our 4 year old granddaughter loved checking on them when she visited. One day I took her to her pediatrician's appointment in a large medical complex as Mom and Dad were working. We wiggled into the packed elevator on the 5th floor and road down a floor and no one had said anything so granddaughter chirped in with "My grandma has worms!" All heads turned to look at me and people backed away as far as conditions allowed. I turned bright red and said "Yes I do." and laughed to myself. She is 17 now and we still laugh about it.
Ann in TN

joyce blint

When our first grandchild, Taylor, was between 2 and 3 yrs old, we were concerned that he didn't speak much. One day as our daughter, Abby was getting ready to leave our place, she said, "Taylor bring me your shoes--it's time to go home." No response. After the third time, Taylor put his hands on his hips and said "Abby, I can't hear you!" We about died trying not to laugh! (He didn't want to leave GrMa and GrPa's) That was when we realized he could speak just fine if he had something to say!!

miriam

When my oldest (now 36) was 2 he was working on learning his abc's. One day I let him go get the mail out of the box. When I asked him if there were any letters and he said, "Nope, just only words."

judi_lynne

ROFL!!!

judi_lynne

oh that is soooooooooooo funny!!!

colwoods

I was taking my 5 yr old DD to the surgeon's office to have sutures removed from her leg after an accident. As we walked down the corridor to the exam room she was looking at art work on the wall that he had painted. She asked me who did it and I told her it was the doctor. She said "he does good for his age". He got a big laugh.
#2
Christmas 2009, our grandsons got two dachsund puppies for Christmas. The 5 yr old doesn't pay much attention to them and really wants a cat. When he asked his Dad why they couldn't have a cat he told him because we already had the 2 dogs. Grandson's response was, "Can we trade them in".
#3
One afternoon my sisters and I decided to make cookies to surprise Mother. We were probably 11,10 and 9 yrs old. WHen she tasted the first one she was very suruprised and asked about the ingredients. I told her that the recipe called for 1/2 cup of nut meats but that the only meat we had was a can of corned beef hash. I've never heard the end of that.