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Thread: Good Grief no wonder we marched in the streets.

  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolaug
    My dad bought me a book like this when I was young...LOL - they had a book fair at his work. When I was reading it I was like are you kidding....it was in the 70's - and Yes...my Mom was like that...and still is...Not me...my husband is awesome and helps with everything. But than again my Mom did not work...

    You might want to amend that to " My Mom did not work outside the home, nor were her labors rewarded with a paycheck."

  2. #27
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    When my DS were smaller I could not afford a babysitter for 2 so I quit work to become a babysitter. DH would come home from "work" and snidely say something about what I had done during the day. I kept my sons 8&4, 4yr, 3yr, 2 2yr and 2 under 1. He had to have knee surgery and was to be out of work for 8 wks. I Requested that he help me with the 2 babies (bottles & playing) I did diapers. He was back to work in a month. He could not take the "activity". Swore he would never complain again if Dinner was a few minutes late and there were toys on the floor.

    At this point DS and DIL are separated because she was raised that the husband was to work and provide everything and she was to "look pretty" when he came home.(HER WORDS)
    I just tell them it takes 2!

  3. #28
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    Nothing to add, y'all have said it all so well.LOL

  4. #29
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    Yes, way back in the 1930s, I remember that the men got fed first, the women came in last and sat down to eat, while the kids were fed in the kitchen. The women sometimes didn't get the good parts of meat, that went to the men, then the kids.

    I suppose that it was a throwback to when the mens' strength was vital to keeping the home and family safe.

    As for welcoming the man home, that's good sense. I would hand him a cold drink in summer, hot tea in winter, the newspaper, then rush in and fry ONE piece of bacon, then stare into the freezer, wondering just what the heck to cook for dinner. But in the meantime 'he' was settled in comfort, knowing that dinner was on its way and not to much in touch with the timing of it. Kept him happy till we were parted by his last stroke.

  5. #30
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    [ Over twenty years ago, he was whining and complaining about his job. He said I had it easy staying at home with the two kiddos all day. He decided rather quickly that he owed me an apology, saying it was much harder than he ever imagined..
    -------------------------
    When I broke my ankle way back in the mid 1970s, my husband took off from work to take care of the kids and house. It was an eye opener to him!! One daughter, age 16, was allergic to wheat and milk, other daughter, one year older, flatly refused to eat eggs "because they came from a chicken's butt" and son, 7, tried to refuse to eat anything except macaroni.

    PLUS the old Doberman had to have a special diet, the young Dobie had to have extra fat in her diet, the old cat had kidney problems and had to have a special diet, and the young cat had to have special kitten food.

    After I returned from a week in the hospital, my dear, DEAR husband told me many times how he appreciated my never complaining about staying home. That lovely man was forever supportive of anything I wanted to do to get out of the house, volunteering with Red Cross, hospital, etc. He was the best.

  6. #31
    Senior Member magnolia's Avatar
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    We just read this in my gender stereotypes class last week! Yes, we were by surprised some of the things on here.

  7. #32
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolaug
    But than again my Mom did not work...
    Ouch......

  8. #33
    Super Member Rainy Day's Avatar
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    If my MOTH tried to do this, this is what would happen to him!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfvbTW08IkQ

  9. #34
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    Don't complain if he stays out all night?

    I'd say these 'tips' were written by a man!

  10. #35
    Junior Member HELLuvvANGEL's Avatar
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    wheres the ad telling HIM what to do and be like?? lol

  11. #36
    Super Member DebsShelties's Avatar
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    Sadly I think there are some women who believe this is the best way to have a family, they were brought up thinking this.
    One is not their own person, they are robotic instead.

  12. #37
    Super Member noveltyjunkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimito2

    At this point DS and DIL are separated because she was raised that the husband was to work and provide everything and she was to "look pretty" when he came home.(HER WORDS)
    I know some women like that too. They are usually very pretty and well dressed, but difficult to have a conversation with. I thought it was a product of too much consumerism, but if she was brought up without any emphasis on developing into a productive and independent person, it can't have helped. Her parents did her (and your son!) a great disservice by limiting her self image like that. The modern world must be a scary place for her!

  13. #38
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    I have been recently laid off...so since I am home iI do most of the house stuff, shopping, cleaning, dumps run...meals on the table every night...fingers crossed I may be starting a new job on Monday...I can see doing the house stuff and meals if not working...but it is a lot of work keeping up a house but easier than having a full time job and then doing it all....
    Quote Originally Posted by Annaquilts
    Quote Originally Posted by carolaug
    But than again my Mom did not work...
    Ouch......

  14. #39
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    I remember them days.
    I never saw my Mother in pants or shorts until after my Father died in 1958.

  15. #40
    Super Member Deb watkins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewjoyce
    Well, okay -- I admit I was raised this way. Women did all the cooking, cleaning, as well as worked in the fields along with their husbands. Men were served first, children second and women last. While the men napped after that huge meal we used to call "dinner", women cleaned up the kitchen and took care of the children. Golly gee, if only my grandma could see me now!! :!: :shock: :lol:
    My mother was know to do this, and for the most part still does. I grew up in the 60's, thought I never really did embrace the Hippie movement, I quietly became independent in my own way. My girls are strong and confident women with a gentle side as well.

  16. #41
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    I totally flunked! hahahahaha

  17. #42
    Super Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Wow, I really like that! It is so full of truth! :)

  18. #43
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    "Over the cooler months of the year, you should light a fire for him to unwind by"

    Somehow I think my husband would have a hard time unwinding with all the fire sirens, since we don't have a fireplace...

    What really ticks me off the most here (well, aside from the "don't complain even if he stays out all night" ) is how they act like being a homemaker is so easy and stress free - all the stress and contribution to the family is attributed to the man who works. As a SAHM to two kids, I can tell you that that is not true!

  19. #44
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    My mother worked, but she still had remnants of that mentality. However, I was the one expected to do the dusting and vacuuming, plus get dinner started, when I got home from school. My brother, of course, never had to do anything (I was also the one who helped our father work on the car!) :roll: It sure put me off housekeeping for life ;-)

  20. #45
    Senior Member kellen46's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray
    Where did you find this?
    I was searching for "vintage" images for a collage project and this popped up. It would be just a curiosity except it was real for a lot of women in the forties and fifties. It was real for my family, long ago when I was newly married into a cattle rancher family all the women, from grandmother to daughter would gather in the kitchen to cook, and then to serve the menfolk in the dinning room, we would eat standing in the kitchen just in case there was an order for more of something or the other. Later we would clean up and care for any little ones around while the men napped in chairs. Shhsh daddy is sleeping. We also worked outdoors, gardening, helping with field work or caring for livestock. While the men watched Ed Sullivan we were preparing for the next day, last thing was to set the table for breakfast. I was young, only a teen, but the amazing thing was none of us questioned it back then. It was just the way things were. When I finally did take a breath I asked myself why and rebelled. It earned me a slap in the face, led to the end of my marriage and hard years of being a single parent. But it also taught me the value of personal freedom and it kept my ex mom in law as a lifelong friend. When men get sentimental about the great old days of the fifties and the sixties I get a little steamed, it was not a good time for women and children and we did have to march in the streets for, at the minimum, some recognition of the need for change. I spent the last twenty years of my working life working in the field of child protection. I have seen the damage that comes from powerlessness. I will give one small example. I had a client who was expecting her fifth child. In our conversation I asked if she was planning to breast feed her baby. She was shocked I would ask her to do something so perverted, in her words, "titties are for men, not for children". After I got my wits back I tried to educate her that no they were specifically for children, only men think of them as sexual. I finally had to point out kittens, puppies, calves and etc drank milk from the mother, that's what mammals do, she was still skeptical but admitted I might have a point.
    I know this is simplistic, and not all women experienced this but, I know I we still have a long way to go when I hear women say " My husband lets me....." you fill in the blank. Our daughters and granddaughters need to know the past to create their futures, and to know that as recent as fifty years ago there were laws on the books that a woman who was pregnant outside of marriage could be incarcerated as a threat to public morals. Women were jailed for having a "love child". What an irony that is. I think the best thing we can do for our children, male or female is to teach them critical thinking. Enough, I will get off the soap box.

  21. #46
    Super Member JudyG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie
    Wow, I really like that! It is so full of truth! :)
    Oh, Eddie, remember you are waaaaay outnumbered here (and at home). Of course, we know you're kidding or you wouldn't be surviving in a house with three women.

  22. #47
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akrogirl
    My mother worked, but she still had remnants of that mentality. However, I was the one expected to do the dusting and vacuuming, plus get dinner started, when I got home from school. My brother, of course, never had to do anything (I was also the one who helped our father work on the car!) :roll: It sure put me off housekeeping for life ;-)
    My parents have a pretty traditional marriage, but one thing I've always appreciated was that my little brother (although my mom still spoiled/spoils him more because he's the baby) had to do housework just like my sister and I. He lives with two or three roommates now, and he's the only one who can cook. I had a friend whose family was not that way - the boys were treated better and seen as "more important" by the parents, and she had to do A LOT of the housework and taking care of things that they did not have to. She was the oldest and she had to grow up fast.

  23. #48
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie
    Wow, I really like that! It is so full of truth! :)
    EDDIE!!!! I'm going to get Admin to kick you off this board!!!
    hahahahahah :-D :-D

  24. #49
    Super Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JudyG
    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie
    Wow, I really like that! It is so full of truth! :)
    Oh, Eddie, remember you are waaaaay outnumbered here (and at home). Of course, we know you're kidding or you wouldn't be surviving in a house with three women.
    Hahaha....you have NOooooo idea how right you are. I am outnumbered and never will have the odds in my favor. If I were to show that to my wife and even suggest that she follow it, well...I better be prepared to protect myself! :D

  25. #50
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DebsShelties
    Sadly I think there are some women who believe this is the best way to have a family, they were brought up thinking this.
    One is not their own person, they are robotic instead.
    I disagree, a woman doesn't have to be a total "b" in the house. These days I have noticed a lot of women think that it isn't done their way hell will have to be paid and there will be no peace until it is. There are women out there who do think along these lines. But don't necessarily follow that article to the letter. I am one of them, I was raised this way. Too much power-playing going on these days in a marriage and not enough equality.

    I make sure our home is comfortable, we rarely argue, and I enjoy cooking for my husband. I am by no means a robot, I do have a mind of my own. We choose to live on an equal footing in our marriage.

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