Good Marriages

Old 03-28-2011, 08:20 AM
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My great uncle gave us this advice.
"Never let her own a iron skillet and NEVER go to bed angry.
Even if you have to stay up all night." LOL
Yes, there are times I wish I had that skillet. It is hard work, but most of the time it is worth it.
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:24 AM
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Be slow to judge, quick to forgive, and laugh as much as possible.
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:48 AM
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We've been married for 36 years. I think we have such a great marriage even though we are sort of opposits.

I agree with everthing already said and will add a few things here.

Value your differences. His strengths are often my weaknesses and vice versa. For example, he is a brilliant person who loses things, like an absent minded professor. Whereas, I'm organized and I know where all my things are (and his), but I'm not nearly as intelligent. We are really different and that could drive each other crazy, but we recognize that together we are very strong and we make a great team.

The other thing is no matter how old you get, flirt with each other. No fake flirting, but sincere compliments, laugh at each other's jokes, hold hands, steal kisses, tickle each other and so on. Flirt! It is fun.
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:08 AM
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From a mom whose son married last year and has a daughter getting married in June...I would give the following advice:

1) I think one needs to THINK seriously before getting married. If there is something about your future spouse that you think you will 'change' after you are married...then, don't get married. Going into a marriage with an expectation that you will 'change' the guy's attitudes, quirks, or faults is a recipe for disaster.

2) No matter whether both are earning an income...each person needs to have some money to do with as they please. DH and I have our joint accounts but we each also have a personal account with a debit card at different credit unions. My quilting and fun money comes from what I have put in that account from my bi-weekly paychecks via direct deposit.

3) Don't gripe about each other behind your backs (with friends/coworkers).

4) Have some hobbies...and don't rely soley on your spouse to do things for you that you could do yourself. Retain your individuality.
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Old 03-28-2011, 09:21 AM
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To start with, throw out that "Each one should do FIFTY PERCENT of everything in a marriage." Wrong...EACH one should do ONE HUNDRED percent in a marriage.

Remember, the dog shouldn't be the only one who is glad to see him come home at night.

I treated my husband like a dog. I found a book called "If A Man Answers" which told how to do this. (They even made a movie about this book.I think Sandra Dee was in it.) When he found out about it he was irritated to start with, but after reading it he was amused and bragged about being treated like a dog.

Husbands leave home by the thousands and some have to be dragged back by the law.

Dogs get lost and come home hundreds of miles on bleeding paws because they are loved and treated well there.

When you call a dog, you pet him for obeying.

When you call your husband, you may be irritated at his slowness and tell him "Dammit, Harry, why didn't you come when I called you? You HEARD me, speak up!!"

And dogs are kept in good condition with treats now and then, taken for walks and talked to during the day. Their beds are always made comfy, just for them.

Husbands sometimes come home to cranky wives eager to tell him how horrible HER day had been, with no interest in his.
(Those 1940s wife suggestions may be funny, but they have a basis of truth in them.)

I would meet my DH at the door whenever possible, hand him a big glass of tea or something hot in cold weather and the daily newspaper. Then I'd go into the kitchen and fry ONE SLICE OF BACON, which would make him think dinner was on the way.

Of course then I could open the freezer and wonder what the heck I was gonna fix for dinner, but the stage had been set.

We were married for 39 1/2 happy years before his last stroke.
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Old 03-28-2011, 10:05 AM
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My first marriage of seven years was an abusive one. This fall, I will be married this time for 25 years. Advice? We put Sundays aside for ourselves; whatever I buy for me, him, or house, I tell him it is half that cost (he knows it's more); we finally quit dragging each other to events the other did not like even if it's family functions; we say "I love you" every day.
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Old 03-28-2011, 10:08 AM
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P.S. I met him at the door one day with nothing on but a tie. I figured if Julia Roberts could do it in Pretty Woman, I'd try it.
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Old 03-28-2011, 10:12 AM
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There's so much good advice here; I don't know that I can add anything. We've been married 39 years. We're best friends; there's nobody either of us would rather be with than the other. We laugh together alot. We talk alot, about everything. And people change- I think that's an important one. People change.
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Old 03-28-2011, 11:20 AM
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Agree to disagree sometimes!
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:05 PM
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God - First
Spouse - Second
Children - Third
Friends, work etc - Fourth

Give 100% to your spouse!
It is a covenant relationship.
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