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Thread: Have you adopted a child from the State?

  1. #1
    imjustme's Avatar
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    I am trying to get a heads up without asking them. I am leaving out the details cause I don't want to upset anyone. My husband and I first agreed to try to take in the child temp. til his mom can get him back. His mother is my cousin. He has been living in foster care for 6 months. They went to court the other day and they told her she will not get him back at this time- the next court date is in Feb. They told her they will most likely terminate her rights. Child protective services then asked me if we would adopt him. I told her I would have to get with my husband. Well he said yes- so they are running our background and will do a in home inspection. After all that and if they believe that we are right for him then they will place him in our home. I get to go see him tomorrow for a 1 hour visit. He will be 3 years old in 2 weeks. Anyway what are they going to look for as far as an in home inspection? I have been deep cleaning and trying to organize like crazy. I don't want to miss something that would take longer to place him here. Anything you can tall me would be great.
    thank you

  2. #2
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    I never have, but my next door neighbors did years ago. I think what they look for is do you have the room for the child, is the house safe, for example , broken windows, chipped /peeling paint. I wish I could be more help .
    {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} and GOOD LUCK !
    Please keep us posted
    Sharon

  3. #3
    Moderator tlrnhi's Avatar
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    I'm with Sharon about just making sure he has his own room, so to speak....bed, dresser etc. The home is safe, no hanging wires, chipping paint, cleanliness. I don't think they are wanting your house to be a showcase home, but just neat and tidy and nothing dangerous.

  4. #4
    ladybugquilter's Avatar
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    I'm sure each state has different rules and regulations. Yet, I have an aunt and uncle that became foster parents in 04 and are far from good house keepers. They did have to attend weekly classes and had background checks performed. They had 2 different sets of foster kids and adopted the last set. I think they (state) is most concerned with a stable, loving home for the child and less with material things. This is just my experience. So good luck and what a lucky little boy :wink:

  5. #5
    reneebobby's Avatar
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    Good Luck and just plain common sense is all you need to get past inspection.

  6. #6
    Super Member Lisa_wanna_b_quilter's Avatar
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    My cousins just went through this. As far as any of us could tell, the state seemed to be mostly looking at whether or not there were reasonable sleeping arrangements and such. The cousin in question is only an OK housekeeper and already had 4 boys under the age of 10 so there is no way to keep it spotless.

    Her older children also had to speak with the woman from Social Services. The 10 year old told us they had asked him questions about how he would feel about having a new child in the house and such.

    I hope all of this works out for you.

  7. #7
    imjustme's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the input- I was up late the other night pulling weeds out of my little garden lol it was soo dark- anything that felt too tall got yanked up - maybe I am over thinking what they are going to look for. The outside of my house (trailor)would be the first impression. I was thinking that maybe they would see them and think if she cant even make time to yank weeds up how would she make time for another child. We have 4 kids- Chelsea is 15- Jonathan is 4- Makayla is 16 months- Cynthia is 12 but she lives with her mother. My oldest is all for it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member ozarkgal's Avatar
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    One thing that you may not of thought of is, they look for FOOD, it sounds like duh, once someone tells you but a lot of people miss that.

    As others have already posted safety,also Clean bath rooms, no "adult" things laying around. If you have firearms, a way to lock them up.
    A phone,smoke detectors etc.

    As already posted lots & lots of common sense.

  9. #9
    Super Member Minda's Avatar
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    I have 5 wonderful grandchildren; all adopted from Children and Youth Services. Some things they look for are suitable sleeping arrangements, smoke detectors, cleanliness, and the safety issues that have already been mentioned.

  10. #10
    Super Member bebe's Avatar
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    Yes smoke detectors, fire extinguisher, safe enviroment, locks work properly and so on. Flexible schedule that he he can attend counseling, make medical appointments and such.
    That you have a sincere heart and want him for all the right reasons. You and hubby are able to provide for him. Do you have other children. If you do prepare them for questioning from the Social
    Worker. They can be sneaky and snoopy.
    I was a Case Aide with Child Protective in San Antonio, Texas.

  11. #11
    Senior Member QuiltMania's Avatar
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    They are going to look for things like sleeping accommodations -- not so much does he have his own room but does he have his own bed and adequate space. They will look for your house to be tidy (not perfect) and safe. They will look in your cupboards to see if you have adequate food. They will also look at your other children (and probably interview them) to see if they are adequately fed and clothed and if they are kept clean. They will look for safety issues like is your house childproofed (especially since he is so young and little ones get into everything). Good luck.

  12. #12
    Super Member justwannaquilt's Avatar
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    Some great advice has been given...BUT.....Things that perspective parents often over look, simple things that are also SUPER CHEAP and don't take any time to install but could be a huge life savor. I am sure having young children in the house you already have most if not all of this stuff but.....
    Outlet covers, drawer and cabinet locks, the little things that go over the door handles so children can not get into certain rooms alone (the bathroom, they say a child could drown in the toilet. I know this is hard to do with a young child who needs to go to the bathroom NOW! lol) make sure all aplliances and entertainment centers/computer desks/dressers are secured to the floor/wall. Might even want to go as far as get a chain lock for doors leading outside if you don't alread. If stove knobs are on the front of the stove get the covers so the child can not turn it on.

    I use to work hand in hand with foster families and I have been through many inspections with families before.

    Good luck! I hope everything works out for the best of the child.

  13. #13
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    I wish for the best possible outcome for all concerned.

    Blessings to you and yours - - - -

    Make sure you think this out carefully and follow your heart - hopefully their decisions will match

  14. #14
    k3n
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    Good luck with this IJM - what a wonderful thing to do. I can't add anything to the great advice given above as I have no experience of this however my commonsense tells me that you shouldn't present your house as a 'showhome' because it may appear that a young child wouldn't fit in to it. Clean - yes, mega tidy - no! Give yourself a break and leave the weeds where they are! :D

  15. #15
    Super Member Edie's Avatar
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    We adopted our son from the state and I thought the same way - clean house, room for the child (we lived in a three room apartment). When she came for her first of five interviews I had homemade rolls and coffee with my good cups and saucers and napkins, etc., and she was not interested in all that. She wasn't interested in the fact that he wouldn't have a room for himself or that he would have all kinds of clothes (I learned quite fast that little kidlings outgrow clothes and that is why we have garage sales and we knew about recycling 44 years ago). They were interested in not what we could give him materially, but what we could give him emotionally, what we could give him spiritually and that we would love him unconditionally. That was the most important!!!!! When the judge asked us if we could take this child into our home and love him like he was born to us, we said yes. We did, and he graduated from college, is married, we have three grandchildren. It wasn't a separate room, it wasn't good clothes, it was love. I wish you all the very best and God bless. Edie

  16. #16
    Super Member Gwyn's Avatar
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    If during the inspection they find something they want you to change, they will tell you. Some inspectors want to see that there are no dangerous things under the sinks. Gwyn

    I have 3 adopted siblings. Adoption is wonderful

  17. #17
    Super Member ania755's Avatar
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    :D Good luck ....

  18. #18
    Senior Member Maksi's Avatar
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    I wish for the best possible outcome. Good luck!

  19. #19
    Senior Member adriansmom's Avatar
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    I am new to this forum...just joined today..but we went through this with our son. We were his foster parents from birth. Being a foster parent can be both very rewarding and very challenging. Until the day the judge declares the child yours, nothing is absolute. We were foster parents for a few years before Adrian came to us. As far as the caseworker goes, if your house is tidy, enough room for the child, and safety items in place you are good to go. A fire extingisher in the kitchen is a good idea also a lock box for any meds. Obviously all guns/ammo need to be locked up in seperate places. In the end, it was all worth it as my son is now a bright, hyper, and happy 5yr old. I know this post is late in coming, but I hope everything worked out for you. I know of a great message board for foster and adoptive parents. If interested, let me know and I'll give you the site address.

    Cathy - mom to Adrian 5yrs old

  20. #20
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    The judge will know the child will have no other place to go except foster care if not with you so don't fret about not being approved. As long as you can provide a loving and decent home environment that's all the judges want to know and that's all the state will be looking for too.

  21. #21
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    Great info from everyone. There is a ton of paperwork to provide with adoption or foster parenting. Be sure to make copies of everything they request.....so many times they lose information :shock: Scarey, they ask for lots of personal and financial stuff and makes ya wonder what did they do with it! Doesn't hurt to have them stamp your copy with the date you provided it. Neighbor has had a terrible time with social services losing stuff. She has had to pay from her own pocket for background info, medical info and such. Gets expensive let alone time family has had to take off from work/school to provide all that was requested. Good luck, you will find great reward for opening your hearts up to this child.

  22. #22
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    As a former foster mom, and now an adoption mom, 7 home inspections later, they are looking for clean neat lived in home, not sterile unfriendly environment.

    They would rather see a messy closet than a home that is so clean the worker feels like a tresspasser.

  23. #23
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Good luck, I am sure you'll do great! I think they just want to make sure its a "home", you have food, and its safe! A few messes with other kids is expected!

  24. #24
    Junior Member sbeddingfield's Avatar
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    I have adopted from the State - my now 23 year old daughter. What a blessing. One thing they looked at was where we had our medicine. Just make sure ALL med is up high and in a safe place.

    We had a dog and they didnt look but asked if shots were up to date.

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