Mom's with daughters I need your advice again....You will love this one
#31
Some schools are thinking of classes being separate again for girls and boys. They have my blessing. better yet, separate schools like they used to!! and no co-ed College dorms either!!! things have gotten way out of hand and kids, even college "kids" can't control themselves. our girls are paying the price.
I'd talk to the parents for certain and see how many adults will be there. sleep overs with boys and girls seem an odd thing to do to me....
I just read one boy went to prison-wish the boy who attacked my granddtr would be put in prison-he's in Texas which must still be a good ole boys State! lives down the street from her and in same school too. do i sound bitter?
yep. anyway, we have to do all we can to keep our children safe, even if that means being mean!
I'd talk to the parents for certain and see how many adults will be there. sleep overs with boys and girls seem an odd thing to do to me....
I just read one boy went to prison-wish the boy who attacked my granddtr would be put in prison-he's in Texas which must still be a good ole boys State! lives down the street from her and in same school too. do i sound bitter?
yep. anyway, we have to do all we can to keep our children safe, even if that means being mean!
#32
I dont have kids but a straight NO would be wrong IMHO. Talk to the parents. You will know right away if the answer is yes or no.
My secretary had "mixed company" sleepovers about once a month for about 8-10 kids. She is very proper, no sex, no drugs, no booze. She has a huge house. The kids were up until about 2 watching movies, playing pool and hanging out in the basement with the doors open (or outside around the firepit) and parents on premises. Then the boys were on one floor, the girls on another and one/two sets of parents (light sleepers) in between.
My secretary had "mixed company" sleepovers about once a month for about 8-10 kids. She is very proper, no sex, no drugs, no booze. She has a huge house. The kids were up until about 2 watching movies, playing pool and hanging out in the basement with the doors open (or outside around the firepit) and parents on premises. Then the boys were on one floor, the girls on another and one/two sets of parents (light sleepers) in between.
#33
You should be proud of her for telling you about the boys being invited too! She could have easily left that part out to be able to get your blessing to go.
I would call the parents hosting this sleep-over and grill them like a detective!!
Just reasure you daughter that you love and trust her to do the right thing.
I would call the parents hosting this sleep-over and grill them like a detective!!
Just reasure you daughter that you love and trust her to do the right thing.
#35
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 112
I raised 2 daughters so am somewhat knowledgeable?? about these things. If your 'gut' tells you 'NO', follow it--it is probably God talking to you. I have a feeling you aren't getting the whole story from your daughter. I would suggest that the 2 of you go somewhere that she won't throw a fit (take her out for hamburgers?) and explain that it is out of LOVE that you are not allowing her to ruin her life yaada, yadda, yadda. She may throw a fit after she gets home but probably not in public and it will give her some time to think about what you just told her. The other parents and kids will admire you for sticking to your guns.
Parenthood is NOT a popularity contest or to be your DD best friend, it is to protect and love until she is old enough and mature enough to make good decisions for herself. PRAY! Sue
Sue
Parenthood is NOT a popularity contest or to be your DD best friend, it is to protect and love until she is old enough and mature enough to make good decisions for herself. PRAY! Sue
Sue
#36
I have two daughters. Trust me. This would not even be a question. NO! It is the parents responsibility to teach them right from wrong. Sleepovers with guys is WRONG! outside of marriage of course.
Both of our daughters are now married with daughters of their own. They have both said thank you for being the parents we are.
They could always blame me for being the mean mom and I wouldn't let them do things like that. They also knew they could call (and they did) any time of the day or night and we would be there to pick them up.
Both of our daughters are now married with daughters of their own. They have both said thank you for being the parents we are.
They could always blame me for being the mean mom and I wouldn't let them do things like that. They also knew they could call (and they did) any time of the day or night and we would be there to pick them up.
#37
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ramsgate. Kent England
Posts: 441
I lived in the centre of London when my daughters were growing up,which believe me brought lots of worries but a sleepover with groups of children did not mean sleeping with each other, the boys were in one room the girls in another..My granchildren still do this too. If the parents weren't there it would be different. Is this perhaps what your daughter means, it was one big giggle from start to finish and a way of growing up safely,of course trust is involved but I guess you have brought her up so that you can trust her.. be careful because one of the mothers in our community never let her daughter join in with the other children... guess which child ended up pregnant while still at school..
#38
It's questions like this that make me glad I am not raising a teen now. But, that same situation came up with my GD wehile in highschool, and believe it or not, her dad( very strict) allowed her to stay........ He checked with several other parents, also with the host parents and felt it would be okay. Those parents had two levels in their home, girls would sleep upstairs where mom was, and boys downstairs where dad was( his position was at the bottom of the stairs). The hostsd were the parents of a daughter( think that is a plus). Anyway, they had lots of snacks, games, videos etc, and the kids had a ball, and no one got hurt. According to GD, by 2:00 AM, they were all getting tired and drifted off to bed anyway, and not as couples. This seems to be a very popular thing to dfo these days, mainly because the parents are wanting the kids to be home after these dances and not out drinking or having sex in a motel, and that also seems to be "The Plan" for after these dances, and has been for a long time. When I talked to GD about it, she said "really grandma, do you think I'd want to be having sex with everyone around and no privacy"? Do I approve of these things, no, but I also know that I never stayed at a co-ed sleepover, nver had a sleepover with my BF, had strict parents, was taught all the morals, knew right from wrong, and I still managed to get pregnant at 16. If kids want to have sex, they will find a time and place no matter what.So mommas' , if you want to protect your daughters, and sons!! make sure they are protected with the proper birth control and knowledge. Then PRAY, a LOT!! My daughter works in a highschool, and the stories she tells me about these girls and todays attitude about sex is enough to make you sick.
#39
Think of examples of parents who say yes, whether you know them or not. Then look at the results and ask yourself, is that what you want for your child. (Totally different realm, but I think of Miley Cyrus and family.)
Kids do have a mind of their own and it's even harder when hormones are raging out of control but when a parent "caves" in to pressure or uncertainty about a decision, it's like blood in the water to a shark.
Isn't it ironic that when our kids are small we drill it in their heads to NEVER talk to a stranger, give them their name, get in their car or walk off with them. Give them another dozen years plus and we allow them to go to people's houses we know nothing about.
Yeah, I was a "bad" Mom who had no trouble saying no. I'm sure I'll be even a worse grandma when that time comes.
Kids do have a mind of their own and it's even harder when hormones are raging out of control but when a parent "caves" in to pressure or uncertainty about a decision, it's like blood in the water to a shark.
Isn't it ironic that when our kids are small we drill it in their heads to NEVER talk to a stranger, give them their name, get in their car or walk off with them. Give them another dozen years plus and we allow them to go to people's houses we know nothing about.
Yeah, I was a "bad" Mom who had no trouble saying no. I'm sure I'll be even a worse grandma when that time comes.
#40
This is a touchy subject. There are so many variables to consider before you make your decision. Go see the host parents and find out what the plans are. Then you can make an informed decision. My first reaction would have been no way. But you have more to find out. After that listen to your gut. Good luck! :thumbup: :-D
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