Mom's with daughters I need your advice again....You will love this one
10-21-2010, 06:19 PM
#51
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pine Grove, California
Posts: 2,816
Originally Posted by trupeach1
Originally Posted by Joan
You are one perseptive mom and deserve a pat on the back.
My daughter (now 30) did this in High School. She and her friends would go to a school dance and have a "Slumber Party" at one of the girls' home. I found out much later (like when she was in her twenties) that these Slumber Parties included boys and that they partied all night. I can't believe I was that naive.
Be tough, give her a curfew and get that girl home!
My daughter (now 30) did this in High School. She and her friends would go to a school dance and have a "Slumber Party" at one of the girls' home. I found out much later (like when she was in her twenties) that these Slumber Parties included boys and that they partied all night. I can't believe I was that naive.
Be tough, give her a curfew and get that girl home!
10-21-2010, 06:24 PM
#52
Power Poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 18,726
I think you handled it like 2 mature individuals...notice this includes your daughter. Kudos to you both for being able to discuss it rationally. You can make the decision together- with the understanding that you have final say.
I'm sooo thankful that I don't have kids to have to deal with this type of thing, but I watch all my friends going through these situations and also family dealing with things. like this.
I'm sooo thankful that I don't have kids to have to deal with this type of thing, but I watch all my friends going through these situations and also family dealing with things. like this.
10-21-2010, 06:34 PM
#53
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: dreaming of a simple life. Living off the grid!
Posts: 3,259
Originally Posted by Joan
Originally Posted by trupeach1
Originally Posted by Joan
You are one perseptive mom and deserve a pat on the back.
My daughter (now 30) did this in High School. She and her friends would go to a school dance and have a "Slumber Party" at one of the girls' home. I found out much later (like when she was in her twenties) that these Slumber Parties included boys and that they partied all night. I can't believe I was that naive.
Be tough, give her a curfew and get that girl home!
My daughter (now 30) did this in High School. She and her friends would go to a school dance and have a "Slumber Party" at one of the girls' home. I found out much later (like when she was in her twenties) that these Slumber Parties included boys and that they partied all night. I can't believe I was that naive.
Be tough, give her a curfew and get that girl home!
10-21-2010, 06:35 PM
#54
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 11,905
No you are not over reacting. I am mama to 14 and 8 are daughters. I would not let me DD sleep over. Tell her yes you can but not this time. You are the parent you do not need her approval. If upon further investigation you feel ok with the situation then do that but do not ignor that little voice inside of you that you are blessed with. I hope your DD has a wonderful evening.
Added-could it be that she told you because she wants you to be the one to say no? I have found that at times. this makes it easier for her to say no to her friends.
Added-could it be that she told you because she wants you to be the one to say no? I have found that at times. this makes it easier for her to say no to her friends.
10-21-2010, 06:43 PM
#55
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: was Upstate NY, now NC & TN
Posts: 2,328
I haven't read most of the responses but here's mine...
I have two daughters - 19 and 21 - and I would never have said yes in the situation you describe. I trusted my daughters but kids want to do many things that are inappropriate for their ages and it's your job as a parent to know when to say no. I would have let them attend but expected them to come home and I would have offered to let them bring any of the other girls who couldn't stay for their own party.
I am pretty sure that if I called my daughters right now and asked them what they think you should say in this situation, they would tell you to say no. And they would have been furious to be told no when they were 17, but a bit more maturity has changed their perspective. These are girls with steady boyfriends and I have no illusions about their activities at college, just so you know that they are pretty typical.
You have to decide what's important to you and what you are willing to battle over. Sometimes being a parent isn't easy and you certainly have times you aren't popular.
I have two daughters - 19 and 21 - and I would never have said yes in the situation you describe. I trusted my daughters but kids want to do many things that are inappropriate for their ages and it's your job as a parent to know when to say no. I would have let them attend but expected them to come home and I would have offered to let them bring any of the other girls who couldn't stay for their own party.
I am pretty sure that if I called my daughters right now and asked them what they think you should say in this situation, they would tell you to say no. And they would have been furious to be told no when they were 17, but a bit more maturity has changed their perspective. These are girls with steady boyfriends and I have no illusions about their activities at college, just so you know that they are pretty typical.
You have to decide what's important to you and what you are willing to battle over. Sometimes being a parent isn't easy and you certainly have times you aren't popular.
10-21-2010, 06:59 PM
#57
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee
Posts: 870
Originally Posted by Annaquilts
Added-could it be that she told you because she wants you to be the one to say no? I have found that at times. this makes it easier for her to say no to her friends.
Also a similar thing happened around here last summer. The girl wanted mom to say no but she didn't, girl went to the party, was raped and mom was arrested for negligence.
10-21-2010, 08:29 PM
#60
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,270
We have 2 girls..ages 29 and 21
I allowed them to go to sleepovers like the one you describe. I trusted them to act responsibly and they did. I have had hundreds of compliments on how my girls carried themselves.
Both graduated high school, my 21 yr old did so with honors. And now is the proud Mom of Raiden and Bella. My other daughter is an Upholsterer/ Seamstress with a contract with Disneyland in SO. Cal doing their furniture and drapes.
When my youngest was 15, her bf stayed at our house overnight several times. He slept on the sofa and he knew my husband, he stayed put....LOL
It's a matter of trust.
I allowed them to go to sleepovers like the one you describe. I trusted them to act responsibly and they did. I have had hundreds of compliments on how my girls carried themselves.
Both graduated high school, my 21 yr old did so with honors. And now is the proud Mom of Raiden and Bella. My other daughter is an Upholsterer/ Seamstress with a contract with Disneyland in SO. Cal doing their furniture and drapes.
When my youngest was 15, her bf stayed at our house overnight several times. He slept on the sofa and he knew my husband, he stayed put....LOL
It's a matter of trust.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Macybaby
For Vintage & Antique Machine Enthusiasts
20
08-29-2013 08:09 PM
Ditter43
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
19
09-12-2010 07:40 PM
