Mom's with daughters I need your advice again....You will love this one
10-21-2010, 04:52 AM
#21
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,183
I would meet and talk with the parents. Everybody here will throw stones at me but my girls had boys sleep over here all the time and girls too. Everything was on the up and up. Of course half of my kids friends are gay. But I trusted that I raised my daughters right and I kept very close tabs on them. My youngest daughter is still pure and my oldest was when she married. So, keep an open mind.
I remember when I was 11 I went to a sleepover at a friends house in the back yard. In the middle of the night a bunch of boys climbed the fence. The youngest brother called the police and my friend and I moved into the house! It was quite a night. :lol: :lol: :lol:
I remember when I was 11 I went to a sleepover at a friends house in the back yard. In the middle of the night a bunch of boys climbed the fence. The youngest brother called the police and my friend and I moved into the house! It was quite a night. :lol: :lol: :lol:
10-21-2010, 04:58 AM
#22
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,991
My daughter is 19 so I know that this isn't an easy decision. First of all you should be thankful that your daughter would tell you in advance about the sleep-over. She sounds like a very responsible young woman and you two must have a good relationship or she wouldn't have let you know. You can't babysit a 17 year old 24 hours a day. There has to be trust and open communication. Talk to your daughter some more, call the parents and talk to them too. Offering to help supervise is a great idea. Try to work out a compromise that everyone can live with. It may involve an early morning brunch (think 2 a.m.) and you driving some sleepy teens home at 4 a.m. Just telling your daughter no may work this time but the next time she just won`t tell you. Good luck with all of this and keep talking.
10-21-2010, 05:00 AM
#23
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: San Antonio Texas
Posts: 1,063
DO NOT LET HER GO !!!!! I have always told my girls that it s my job to keep them out of situations that can hurt them. Including having sex before they are ready. They appreciate it and I have never had a problem with rebellion. Please protect them.
10-21-2010, 05:03 AM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North West, Washington
Posts: 387
Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
I think that I would immediately go over and meet these parents, and listen carefully to what they say, what they do not say, and also listen to that little voice that is whispering in your mind. Check out their house, any beer cans lying around, far too many liquor bottles on display? Car with a lot of dents? Kids sullen around the parents? And ask friends about these people, they should be known around town if they have teenagers.
Remember, this is only a party, kids take parties to heart, and they don't have the life experience to see muddy roads ahead. It won't damage her permanently if she is not allowed to go to this overnight. There might be a lot of screaming and crying, or merely sullen moments, but you have to do what you believe to be the right thing. I remember some of the yelling and arguing from my oldest daughter because of not being allowed to run around all night like her friends, she wanted to do what SHE wanted.....now she is a guard in a Texas Jail!!!
I don't think you are over-reacting at all. My second husband, who raised my two daughters, and I were parents, not best friends with them till they were grown. Teens think they are grown men and women, but do lack the wisdom to look below the surface of some people.
Remember, this is only a party, kids take parties to heart, and they don't have the life experience to see muddy roads ahead. It won't damage her permanently if she is not allowed to go to this overnight. There might be a lot of screaming and crying, or merely sullen moments, but you have to do what you believe to be the right thing. I remember some of the yelling and arguing from my oldest daughter because of not being allowed to run around all night like her friends, she wanted to do what SHE wanted.....now she is a guard in a Texas Jail!!!
I don't think you are over-reacting at all. My second husband, who raised my two daughters, and I were parents, not best friends with them till they were grown. Teens think they are grown men and women, but do lack the wisdom to look below the surface of some people.
10-21-2010, 05:06 AM
#25
Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North East Lower peninsula of Michigan
Posts: 6,231
What is it exactly you are worried about? Alcohol? Drugs? They will do that anytime of the day if they are going to. Sex that happens in the daylight too. Do you know her Boyfriend? Is he responsible? Do you trust him. I raised 5 boys and if you trust her all will be fine. I would talk to the host parents tho and find out details. My sons GF's stayed over but they slept on the couch and the boys were downstairs. WE had an open door policy, door must be open and mom can come in anytime to see what you are up to. If you don't find the information to be what you hope for then nix the idea.
10-21-2010, 05:32 AM
#26
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,155
Be glad that your daughter told yhou about the intended plans. She is asking for your help - Her answer to friends will be 'no I can't spend the night. My mom set the rules no sleepovers with boys.' You become the bad person. Which is OK. My husband and I have always been bad. Our 2 daughters have turned out pretty good we think. I wish I had a copy of the poem title the "The Meanest Parents" it give you lots of encouragement.
Don't let her spend the night. The other set of parents are setting themselves up for real trouble.
Sorry to on going, but we need to keep morals alive. Life is hard enough. Remember you will be in my prayers.
Don't let her spend the night. The other set of parents are setting themselves up for real trouble.
Sorry to on going, but we need to keep morals alive. Life is hard enough. Remember you will be in my prayers.
10-21-2010, 06:01 AM
#28
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Glenmoore, PA
Posts: 7,941
No, you are not reacting. My daughter is 47 today and I always told her when she said, "Mom, times have changed" that I didn't care that times have changed. No is No and that is it. Luckily my daughter was a very goal driven girl and didn't really date till she went off to college. But if Mom said No there was no further discussion. I also have 3 sons and it was the same with them. The day will come when your daughter will thank you for being strict with her. They may not do anything but there is no sense in allowing for temptation.
10-21-2010, 06:04 AM
#29
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ/Utah border
Posts: 2,345
not just NO, but H**L NO. Explain that you care about her too much to set her into harms way. Of course the parents need to know.
You must have a great relationship with your daughter for her to ask, instead of just sneaking.
As an alternative, I often invited my kids and their date, along with their special friends to MY house for food, treats, movie, games. Had a deadline set, and I informed all the parents of the time they were to leave my house.
You must have a great relationship with your daughter for her to ask, instead of just sneaking.
As an alternative, I often invited my kids and their date, along with their special friends to MY house for food, treats, movie, games. Had a deadline set, and I informed all the parents of the time they were to leave my house.
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