tessagin

We received an invitation on line for a wedding reception. The couple had over exceeded their budget for the wedding and were requesting monetary gifts for their honeymoon. I kept looking at the invitation. Yep were invited to the reception and needed to have the invitation and copy of a reply email and receipt of payment for the honeymoon to be allowed entrance into the reception hall. Then it would be a cash bar. Showed it to DH. Our reply was "BEST WISHES" will not be attending and saving our money for our 'second honeymoon".

Sandygirl

AGREE! Makes it so much easier, doesn't it? I want to see couple commit to a life together. Put the greed aside and have a meaningful event that does not scream People Magazine. Yawn.
Sandy

Tudey

Well, she did say she received the invitation in the mail...If people can't be bothered to slap a stamp on an invitation, I can't be bothered in going or sending a gift.[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE]

Sandygirl

I read this 3 times before I fully undestood the price of admission! Wow!! Love your response!

Sandy

MCH

The wedding industry is going strong. The marketing is over the top. I hesitate to use the phrase, "In my day, a couple got married in the church or pastor's office, or at a Justice of the Peace's. Sometimes there was a reception or other bridal party festivity afterwards. The honeymoon wasn't something paid for by 'guests'".

However, my husband and I both will make the point that couples focus more energy, time, effort, and money on the wedding than on the marriage. I'm watching one of these "focus more on the wedding than on the marriage" scenarios unfold now. And yes, the couple has been shacking up / "playing house" for more than a year. I see this and ask myself, "Do either of them have any respect for the other?" And I always thought I was rather "laissez-faire" about all this, but as I've become older (much older), observation, experience, and history have caused me to modify my perception of "modern" vs tradition. I am a bit saddened to consider that which is today's "modern" could be tomorrow's "tradition".

duckydo

I know times are a changing, but I think it is down right rude to ask for money for a wedding gift. What happened to gifting someone without them telling you what they want. I have a great niece that got married a couple of years ago and had lived with her husband to be for 3 or 4 years b4 they decided to get married and had a child together. I think you have already established a home and pretty much have everything that you need to set up housekeeping since you already did it. And I will not contribute to anyones honeymoon fund. Just me, don't jump on me, I just think it is wrong and this only my feelings, not trying to push them off on anyone else.

bearisgray

We usually do give money for "occasions" - but we resent being ASKED for money!

kjdavis4

I'm going to comment here on a related topic. Thank you notes. I have attended a wedding, gifted a baby quilt and sent two graduation gifts. I haven't received a thank you note for any of these. I do know the baby quilt was received, but the others I have no way of knowing as they were gift cards or gifts sent from their registries. There's really no way of dealing with this because I don't want to withhold gifts from others because of someone else's bad manners. It's just very annoying. If the baby quilt recipient has another baby I hope she is able to share the quilt because she's not getting another. There, rant over!!

carolynjo

It's hard to say NO sometimes, but Dear Abby would have told him to say no I am sure. Those kids may be great but that is awful to ask him to do all that!

Rose_P

Sometimes it almost feels good to say no!

And I second kjdavis4 on the lack of thank you notes. It's especially troubling when we picked a very nice gift for the daughter of a friend who was getting married in another state. It was on the registry of a major department store, and it was to be delivered to an address that the couple had provided to the store. We are left to go completely on faith that the gift was ever received. Maybe it was stolen from their doorstep? Maybe the store is bilking thousands of people coast to coast? How would we ever know? I was tempted to pointedly ask the bride's parents if they knew whether the gift was ever received, but I let it go because meanwhile we moved away and rarely have any contact with them. It still troubles me several years later. Maybe they really did not get our gift and think we sent only a card saying we regret we couldn't attend.